When I was thirteen, my school had a field trip to the local zoo. The entire eighth grade was split up into groups of twelve to fifteen kids with one chaperone, either a class teacher or a parent of one of the kids.

I ended up in a group with the grandparent of a boy I barely interacted with, so she didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her. Due to my disabilities, I was apparently meant to be put in a group with my English teacher (or anyone else who knew my 504 plan), but something was shuffled around, and I was put in a group with Brian’s grandmother instead.

I have a disability that affects my leg mobility, and at school or on big trips, I usually use a wheelchair. My arms are strong enough that I can nearly always self-propel myself, which I greatly prefer. Brian’s grandmother decided to push me around and got very upset at me when I voiced my disapproval of this.

She got upset when I stood up near the enclosures to get a better look at the animals. She decided I couldn’t read properly (maybe because I have visually high prescription glasses?) and decided to read aloud most of the signs to me.

My best friend was in the group, and she spoke up against this and was reprimanded for doing so. Other kids, including two girls who were normally rude to me, were advocating for me to Brian’s grandmother, and she shut them down as well. Brian said nothing at all, but I think he was really embarrassed. Eventually, my best friend was allowed to push me around, which was marginally better than a woman who’s basically a stranger doing it.

We had lunch at the picnic tables, then had another hour at the zoo before the buses came to pick us up. There were only three groups with us at lunch at the time we were eating, but my science teacher was the chaperone of one of the other groups, and he came up to me to ask me how I was doing. I explained the situation, and he was shocked. He got one of the kids in his group to switch with me so that I was with the science teacher’s group for the remaining hour of the field trip.

Brian’s grandmother also had a weird thing about gender and would only accept a swap if it was me swapping for another girl, so as not to increase the number of boys in her group. Brian told his mom about the incident, and she was so horrified that she wrote a personal apology letter to me. Later, Brian and my best friend ended up going to the zoo together over the summer, and we had a great time (Brian and I didn’t really end up being friends, though).

CONTENT WARNING: Vomit

My mom is spending the night in the hospital after having her gall bladder removed. Her roommate is there for the same reason. At one point, her roommate starts vomiting, and the nurses are trying to figure out why.

Mom: “Maybe it’s the McDonald’s food and chocolate milkshake her family brought her.”

Related:
Not A Happy Meal

I work in a small but very busy local bakery. We can wear whatever we’d like, and today I wore a sweatshirt from my college days. I’m in my thirties but look young.

Customer: *Points to my shirt.* “Oh, do you go there?”

Me: “I did, quite a while ago.”

Customer: “I’ve heard it’s become a really good school.”

Me: “Yeah, they’ve expanded it a lot. It’s completely different now than when I was there.”

Customer: “Is that where you got your education?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: *Smirks.* “So is that why you’re here, selling donuts?”

I managed to produce a smile and politely explain that I have young kids at home (excluded the part that both have high support needs and various therapies), which sent him off on a tangent about how “kids do better in life if their mom is home with them,” but how it’s such a burden for dads to “make everything else work.”

Also, about how he’s diabetic and shouldn’t be eating donuts. Sir. Why are you even here then?

I’m a lifeguard at a pool in a resort. A woman is carrying a drink in a glass in the middle of the pool (not the kind of resort pool that has a bar in it).

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t have that drink in the pool.”

Guest: “It’s okay! It’s non-alcoholic!”

Me: “That’s not the point, ma’am. You can’t have it because it’s made of glass, and if it breaks in the pool, then—”

Guest: “—Wait, so you’re telling me you’re not concerned if this is alcohol or not?! You’re just worried about the container?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Guest: “Wow! You obviously have zero concern for safety!”

A customer comes into the gas station.

Customer: “I only have cash.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can take payment here and pre-approve the pump to the dollar value you want.”

Customer: “What happens if I go over?”

Me: “The pump won’t let you go over.”

Customer: “What happens if I don’t use it all?”

Me: “I give you the change.”

Customer: “Wow, you’ve really thought of everything!”

Me: “Well, two things—”

Customer: *Throwing cash at me, delighted.* “—everything! You’re amazing!”

The customer goes outside to pump, and as predicted, it stops pumping to the penny. He comes back inside for no other reason than just to shout:

Customer: *Still delighted.* “Amazing! You thought of everything!”

And he goes back out, still shouting:

Customer: “Everything!”