My friend and I are at a movie theater at the midnight opening night release of ‘The Force Awakens’, so the atmosphere is buzzing. We’re buying some concessions, and I spot my friend talking to an older guy. They have a friendly chat for a few minutes before saying ‘bye’, when my friend then walks back over to me, smiling.

Me: “Who was that?”

Friend: “That’s my college professor.”

Me: “Oh, cool. Why are you smiling so much?”

Friend: “Yeah, I have a class with him tomorrow morning. He told me he better not have to ‘force awaken’ me due to my lack of sleep.”

Me: “That’s… a terrible dad joke.”

Friend: “That’s what I said, but terrible dads are kinda par for the course for Star Wars, so it fits.” *Shrugs.*

We laughed and enjoyed the movie. We saw his professor again on the way out, and he said, “Goodnight, younglings!”

I’m working the reception and check-in desk at a dentist’s office. One of the dentists comes out of his office at the start of his lunch break.

Dentist: “Why is it taking so long to get everything done today? It feels like it’s taking patients five to ten minutes to walk from the waiting room to see me.”

I point to the TV in the waiting room.

Me: “Remember what day it is, and realize why they’d be showing a marathon of the OG Star Wars trilogy.”

Dentist: “Oh! It’s May The Fourth! Wait, are you telling me patients who are here to see me are slow to make their appointment… because of the TV?”

Me: “I’m definitely telling you that. When I call out names to be seen, I have to do it loudly and multiple times because they’re too busy watching the TV.”

Dentist: “Well, I guess that explains it.”

Me: “Did you want me to switch channels?”

Dentist: “Later. Looks like the Empire is about to attack Hoth.” *Sits down and spends his entire lunch hour watching ‘The Empire Strikes Back.’*

I’m going through the drive-through of a fast-food joint.

Employee: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. Will you be using our mobile app today?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “What’s your code?”

Me: “It’s [code].”

Employee: “Sounds like a Star Wars droid. Go ahead and pull around to the first window.”

I pull around, and he hands me my receipt.

Me: “Is this the droid I’m looking for?”

Employee: “Ha ha! Get outta here, ya Nerf herder!”

I worked at one of the various species of dollar stores. I had this old lady come up to my lane. She had to be in her seventies or early eighties, was hunched over, and had a black walking cart she would put her stuff in.

Just as I was about to ring her out, the system went down completely. Now I had had her before as a customer, and knew she was a pain in the a**, so I decided I would pre bag the duplicate items (she had six boxes of tissues, two packs of toilet paper, and two rolls of paper towels).

We are waiting, and waiting, and waiting. About eight minutes go by, and my register won’t start. I have a line approaching twenty people long at this point, and my manager manages to open another two registers, but mine won’t start. So, they open the other lanes, and people immediately shift over.

Customer: “What about me? I’ve been in line the whole time! I was next!”

Me: “We will get you in line, we’re just intending to get you close to the front—”

Customer: “—forget this!”

And with that, she just… walks out of the store, items still in her cart! I chase after her because both managers are ringing people out, and tell her:

Me: “Ma’am! You still have to pay for the items!”

Customer: “You won’t ring me out, so I’m just leaving.”

Me: “Ma’am, I was trying to ring you out, but the system went down.”

We dance around the whole “you have to pay” and “you won’t ring me out” lines for a few minutes, with her yelling getting louder and louder.

Customer: “I’ll come pay for it tomorrow! I have to walk home and can’t stand in line all day!”

Finally, a manager has noticed and comes out. She asks what is going on, and I explain the situation to her. I turn around to talk to the lady… and she has run halfway down the plaza with her goods! She’s actually broken into a run!

Manager: “Let her go. If she can move like that at her age, I’m scared of her.”

Me: “It’s like that scene in Star Wars when Yoda stopped using his walking stick and start popping some moves.”

Manager: “If she doesn’t come back tomorrow, I’m branding her a Sith lord.”

She did not come back, but I do sometimes see her in the mall and plaza complex, and we all now refer to her as a dark Sith lord.

I’m working the merch booth for a well-known sci-fi franchise at a convention. A customer walks up to the table and picks up a replica lightsaber from ‘Star Wars’.

Customer: “Excuse me, how come this one doesn’t actually light up or anything?”

Me: “It’s just a replica, meant for cosplay or display.”

Customer: “Well, that’s disappointing. For $40, I expected some power. Maybe lights or sound.”

Me: “We do have a version with lights and sounds at the end of the table, though it’s $85.”

Customer: “$40 and it doesn’t even work?”

Me: “It’s decorative.”

Customer: “Wow. That’s it? That’s all it does? You’d think how prominent it was in the sequels, you’d have put a bit more effort into it.”

Me: “Well, technically, disappointment was a feature in the sequels too.” 

Customer: *Squints, then sighs.* “Yeah… it sucked hard.” *Walks away.*