The store is very busy as they have some sales happening. I’m waiting to try on a pair of shoes in a size that’s in the back, so I am a witness to this exchange at the register. The cashier has been working at breakneck speed the entire time I’ve been there to get through the long line.

Customer: *Tossing a pair of shoes onto the counter.* “I want these shoes, but I’m not paying that price.”

Cashier: “Then I guess you’re not getting them.” *Moves pair of shoes aside.* “Next customer!”

The customer has a ‘wait what?!’ look on her face as the cashier waves the next customer over and starts checking them out. It took another moment or two for the customer to realize what had happened, and how little the cashier gave a f*** about her attempt at haggling.

By the time the cashier had finished serving the next customer, she had sheepishly slid the shoes back toward the cashier without a word, holding out her credit card. She paid for them silently and walked out of the store looking a little embarrassed. It was glorious to behold.

A guy comes in to donate something that we can’t accept.

Customer: “Yes, you can! The lady I talked to this morning on the phone said we could!”

Me: “On Sundays, we open at midday. There wasn’t anyone working this morning.”

Customer: *Doubling down.* “Yes, there was! I spoke to her, and she said she was the owner!”

Me: “Well, our female owner died a couple of years ago, and her husband took over after she passed. Could you please tell me what number you dialed as he’d be thrilled to have a direct connection to the other side.”

My job requires a lot of international travel. A silver lining to this is that we can collect personal airmiles from all the business-expensed flights, so they can add up pretty quickly.

One of my senior coworkers, who has been saving her air miles for a while, comes into work one day excited, with a special letter and card from the airline we most frequently use.

Coworker: “I’m now a member of the Mile High Club!”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Coworker: “I got a million miles saved up! That puts me in their special club! Look!”

Me: “[Coworker], you’re trying to tell me that you’ve saved up a large number of miles with [Airline], right? Nothing else?”

Coworker: “Yes! Why, what are you talking about?”

Me: “Do you know what the Mile High Club is?”

Coworker: “Yes, it’s the club you join when you’ve saved a high number of miles with the airline! I hear people talking about it all the time, and I’m finally a member!”

Me: “Okay, let me explain something…”

After I told her what the Mile High Club really was (which has a much lower barrier to entry), she was very grateful that I was the first person in the office she had told that morning!

The store I used to work at has a front that faces west, and it’s all windows. We’re in Texas, so it’s always hot with the sun streaming in and, of course, the sun glares in our eyes and the register screens, etc.

Customer: “You should have blinds or something!”

Me: “We agree, but we’re not allowed to put blinds up.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Some time before I worked here, when there were still blinds on the windows, a customer drove by through the parking lot, saw the blinds were closed, and instead of reasoning that it’s very sunny hence the blinds, parking and going up to see if the store was open, or calling the store to ask if it’s open, she called customer care to complain that the store was apparently closed in the middle of the day because blinds down equals store closed. Corporate responded by taking the blinds away and banning them.”

Customer: “…oh.”

Me: “Of course, you could call corporate yourself and say you’d like the blinds put back.”

Customer: “Hmm… nah, that sounds like a lot of work.”

This story happened a number of years ago, so the actual conversation is an approximation of what was said. 

I went into a pizza place, which was part of a group of businesses, restaurants, etc., owned by the same family. When I went in, there was an adult man standing at the counter ordering, and a girl, maybe twelve years old, standing a little further back. I assumed the girl and the man at the counter were together, so when the staff member (who I later learned was the owner) called me over, I stepped up and started to order.

Girl: *Tentatively.* “Uh, I was next…?”

Me: “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry! I thought you were with him.” *Gesturing at the other customer.* “Please, go ahead.”

I stepped back from the counter and motioned her to go ahead, and the owner got a sneering look on his face.

Owner: “Don’t worry about her, she can wait. What do you want?”

Me: “Um, no. She’s already been waiting; it’s her turn now. I can wait a few minutes.”

Girl: “Can I get a large pepperoni, please?”

Owner: *Sighs like it’s a massive inconvenience to serve a customer.* “Fine. But you should really let adults go first; you don’t need pizza that badly.”

The girl pays as he’s saying this, and he disappears into the back before either of us can say anything in return. While we’re waiting for him to come back, the other customer leaves with his pizza, and the girl’s mother comes in. The girl tells her what happened.

Me: *To the mother.* “I really am sorry. She was standing quietly towards the back, and I genuinely thought she’d already ordered. The staff member was not particularly kind about it, though.”

Mother: “Thank you for standing up for her. I’m going to have a word with him when he gets back.”

The owner returns with the girl’s pizza, still sneering, and kind of shoves it across the counter at her.

Owner: “Here’s your pizza. Next time, you let adults go first and wait until I call you.”

Mother: “There won’t be a next time if this is how you treat my child when I’m not here. She was waiting her turn politely, this guy—” *Gesturing to me.* “—just made a mistake and he apologised for it. You don’t tell my kid to wait longer just because you care more about adults!”

The owner and mother argue for a bit, and I exchange uncomfortable looks with the girl. Eventually, they leave, and the owner tells me my pizza is ready even though I didn’t get as far as paying for it. I hand him the money, and he offers to give me a can of drink for free to “make up for them” with a nasty tone of voice, clearly implying the girl and her mother were the problem.

Me: “No thanks, I don’t want anything free from someone who talks like that to kids. She did nothing wrong, and you were cruel to her for no reason. I’m paying for this pizza now because it’s already ready, but I’m also going to call your boss to ask if it’s store policy to make kids wait longer and argue with their parents over it.”

Owner: “Ha! Good luck, I am the owner, so there’s no one you can complain to.”

Me: “In that case, you just lost three customers, myself, and those two, and I will be letting everyone I know in this area how you treat people.”

I wish there were some satisfying ending to this where the pizza place went out of business because everyone banded together, but there isn’t. A handful of people I know said they don’t go there anymore, and the pizza place certainly looks a bit emptier than it used to, but when your family owns half of the businesses in the area, I guess they can bail you out as much as you need, no matter how rude you are to kids.