A modest proposal: Trump has it all wrong — to prevent crime, we need to do some “exteme vetting” of men
If we need a police state to stop crime, the target shouldn't be immigrants but those commiting most crimes: men
Topics: 2016 Presidential Campaign, Crime, Donald Trump, Elections 2016, immigrants and crime, Immigration, political satire, Satire, Satire News, Elections News, Media News, News, Politics News
Donald Trump’s alarming speech on Thursday night was built around the claim that immigrants are a uniquely terrifying source of murder and mayhem and therefore, in the name of self-defense, the U.S. should expunge undocumented immigrants and narrow the standards for legal immigration.
The problem with his argument — which is barely an argument and more a bunch of right-wing buzzwords expectorated at top volume — is that immigrants, undocumented or not, commit crime at lower rates than native-born people.
There are, however, two groups of people who really do commit crime, especially violent crime, at wildly different rates: Men and women.
According to FBI crime statistics, men are arrested for roughly three-quarters of all crimes. When it comes to violent crime, the stats are even worse. Nearly 9 out of 10 people arrested for murder are male. Ninety-nine percent of rape arrestees are men. Men are arrested for 8 out of 10 aggravated assaults.
If Trump is right and the crime rate is serious enough of a problem to compel us to abandon basic human rights so as to subject certain groups of people to monitoring and legal intimidation, then it’s not immigrants we should target. It’s men.
Trump argued that all “energies of the federal government and legislative process” should be geared toward preventing immigrant-caused crime through extreme police-state measures — monitoring, draconian punishments, mass deportations, that sort of thing. The problem is that doing this won’t do much to reduce crime, since immigrants aren’t committing crimes in disproportionate numbers.
But if we took that police state model that Trump is suggesting and applied it to men, well, say what you will about squishy liberal values like respect for human rights and the concept of “innocent until proven guilty” and “not holding all members of a group accountable for the actions of the few,” but it’s hard to deny that this would significantly reduce crime.
Using Saudi Arabia, which has really perfected gender apartheid, as an inspiration, I have crafted a 10-point plan, aimed at controlling men, that Trump should embrace if he’s really serious about preventing crime at all costs.
1. Chaperoning. No man is allowed to leave the house, even on simple errands, without a female relative to chaperone him. It can be his wife, sister, mother or even sister-in-law, so long as there is proper documentation to show that this woman has the authority to mind him while he’s out. It’s hard to rape and murder people with your mom watching you.
2. A driving ban. We know that male criminals frequently use cars to escape a crime scene, and in some cases, like drunken-driving accidents (which men cause at twice the rate for women), the vehicle is the instrument of the crime. Given men too much accelarating power makes it too easy for men to indulge their criminal urges. They can either get a ride from a woman or take the bus.
3. Guardianship. Men shouldn’t be able to get jobs, go to school or leave the country without the permission of their female guardian. This precaution will keep them from socializing with other men who are unknown by their female guardian, as this activity is a known precursor to criminal activity. Men will be banned from leadership positions as well because they can’t be trusted to deal fairly and strictly with their fellow males who commit crime.
4. A ban on nonmarital sex. Men commit nearly all rapes, but they often get away with it because they simply claim that the sex was consensual. Banning nonmarital sex solves most of the he-said, she-said problem. Men will definitely be motivated to make sure a woman doesn’t feel violated by a sexual encounter, if she can get him 40 lashes with an accusation of fornication.