There's nothing wrong with being over 30 years old and living with your parents. But for whatever reason, it's so common to feel ashamed about it. And because there's shame around it, those who do live with their parents don't talk about it enough, leaving the other adults who feel ashamed to suffer in silence. In an effort to break the cycle, I asked adults over 30 who live with their parents why they're doing it and how it's honestly going.

Here's what they said, truth and all:

1. "I just moved in with my elderly parents. I'm in my 40s, and they are healthier than I am. I have a full-time job, but I can't afford to live on my own due to disability and the cost of healthcare. The drugs and doctor bills eat up almost my whole salary."

2. "My dad passed away suddenly two years ago. I was getting ready to move out after getting a job where I'd actually make good money. Then he died. I'm an only child and my mom's had some heath issues, so I didn't want to leave her. I'm engaged now and we're living with my mom while we look for a house to buy. My dad's dog and my fiancé's dog are best friends, so that's been great to see. My fiancé moving in has helped because he's a buffer between my mom and I — we fought way more before he was in the picture. I have anxiety about us moving out because I feel guilty leaving my mom alone. I'm hoping us moving will push her to find more social opportunities and figure out what the rest of her life looks like without my dad."

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3. "It sucks! I moved in with my mother so I can put more money towards my student loan payments —the millennial dream! I appreciate her help and I'm grateful to be able to do this, but I feel like an angsty teenager again living with her. It has definitely impacted my mental health because this is not where I thought I'd be at this age."

4. "I live with my single mom and have for years. We butt heads sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for the world. My mom and I are very close, and it's nice having her around to help me watch my dogs and foster puppies. I live in a very expensive part of Florida, and I wouldn't be able to afford to live alone in this city. I really lucked out with my mom. It's far from a burden to live together."

5. "I'm in between career changes, so I've lived with my parents while I go back to school for classes. The reduced rent really helps since I can't work full-time. I struggled when my dad retired, as we were constantly in each other's space, but now we have our own routines. I also like that I'm here, so I can look after our pets when they're away rather than pay to kennel them. As for my dating, I don't feel comfortable bringing people over, so it's pretty non-existent. But when I move out again, it'll be back to 'normal.'"

6. "I'm nearly 40 and still live with my parents, but I pay them rent. I'm disabled, so living on my own isn't really an option. I'm very lucky to have a great relationship with them. My mom is my best friend."

7. "My job wasn't what I originally hoped to get with my Bachelor's degree, so I pay my parents rent to keep living at home. It's a lot less than most places in my area, about a week's pay. I work with my parents if and/or when I can, but my aim is to get a better-paying job later this year and consider my options, including getting my own place. The MBA I earned recently will help with that!"

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8. "I broke up with my fiancé about a year ago and had to move back in with my parents because he ruined my finances. I hated it at first. It was really difficult to walk that line of 'Our house, our rules' and 'I'm literally grown and can do what I want.' But things have gotten better, and outside of minor annoyances (like, why does CNN always have to be on), we've come to a place of mutual respect. I actually pushed back my plans to move out to take advantage of having fewer bills, and I'm working on building back my credit and eliminating my outstanding debts. I have breathing room to do things I couldn't even dream of a year ago, like traveling and saving for a house. My parents can be a lot at times, but they've shown me kindness and compassion when I needed it most. For that, I am truly grateful to them."

9. "After years of unanswered questions about my health (I'd randomly black out and then come back), I moved back in with my mom. And it was good thing, too — we found out that after two car accidents, not only did I have epilepsy, I had a hernia in my brain. Going home saved my life. I can't wait for my two surgeries."

10. "I am 34 and my mom and I bought a house together almost two years ago. It's been great! After my dad passed away, she sold my childhood home and moved out to live with me and my ex, then me and the ex broke up and sold the house we were living in. Rather than my mom and I fending for ourselves, we bought a place. We've always had a really good relationship, and I consider her one of my best friends. It doesn't come without some struggle. I do feel infantilized by her at times, but not often. We both pull our weight and contribute equally in managing the household. The only real issue is that I'd like to eventually live with my boyfriend of three years, but I'm not entirely sure what that'd look like."

11. "I sold a townhouse in Colorado to move to Florida to be closer to family, and honestly, because of the high cost of living in Colorado. I've been living with my parents for almost two years because the housing market in this area sucks. The wild HOA fees, often $1,000-plus per month, in a lot of neighborhoods that are part of golf communities, aren't helpful either. I'm so freakin' over it. I desperately need my own space again, and I'm tired of being treated like a child by my mom and a dog-sitter by my dad."

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12. "My parents are separated, and around the time I separated from my partner, I lost my job and decided to go back to school. It did not make sense for both my mom and me to be paying a mortgage and/or rent when we get along so well. My mom also has multiple sclerosis, so driving isn't ideal for her, and I can obviously help with that."

13. "When I moved to Florida, I moved them in with me because it's just too expensive for them to live on their own now. On the plus side, dinner's on the table when I get home, they help a lot while I'm working, and I just like their company. On the downside, it's my house, but they took over for things like decorating and organizing, and it just doesn't feel like my house anymore!"

14. "I live with my parents because they have enough money to maintain my lifestyle, which consists of spamming 'W's' in Kai Cenat's Twitch chat. As a result of this free time, I have made a lifelong commitment to reach radiant in Valorant. Since moving back in with my parents, I have gained 120 lbs. and compressed my spine about six to nine inches. I guess you could say I'm low-mobility, high-utility. I think my parents are worried, but I'm only 41teen."

15. "It sucks. I'm the only girl, the youngest of the family, and the only child between my parents (my siblings are from previous partners). I graduated college in 2016, and worked as a substitute teacher for four years because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. When the pandemic hit, I thought it was the best thing ever because I was exhausted working with children, and I thought it would give me time to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Then, my mom got sick in 2021 and remained so until January of this year. I've been unemployed since 2020. My dad still gives me an allowance, and I feel so pathetic. Since 2022, I've applied to over 4,000 jobs. Everything from freelance work to janitorial jobs to fast-food restaurants. My dad keeps telling me how I need to get a job and that with my college degree, I can get a job in anything. But then he gets upset that I'm applying to any jobs."

16. "Rent in my area is affected by a military base. They know the Basic Allowance for Housing that soldiers get and they want that entire amount, so they charge that amount. That means rent stays high even though we are not a big city. Homes are also out of reach. The cost can sometimes be upwards of $400,000 for a less than 3-bed, 2-bath home on less than an acre, and even for a poorly maintained trailer, the cost is around $180,000. So, living with my parents is tolerable. Do we get into disagreements sometimes? Yes. Do we also act like adults and get over it? Also yes. So, while it's not ideal, and I wish I could buy a home and have my own space...I will continue to wait for the market to be right, wait for the right house to come along, and make sure I'm kind, courteous, and respectful of my parents' home and time while I live with them."

17. "I've been living with my grandmother since I was 25. I live in New York in Northern Westchester County, where 10 years ago you could find a studio or 1-bedroom for under $1,500. Now, single bedrooms for rent in homes go for over $1,800. It's asinine. Nowadays, the average 1-bedroom is $2,500–$3,500. At one point, I was working three jobs and, even with my master's degree, I could probably only afford a Coleman tent in the woods. My grandmother is getting older and more forgetful, but I enjoy living with her. She lives downstairs, and I have the upstairs to myself. The first five to eight years I lived here, I pined for my own place because she didn't want me bringing people over, including friends and especially dates. But now, with this economy and the bleak dating scene, I am so thankful I live in a house with someone I deeply care about who has been a part of my life since I was born."

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18. "I moved back in with my parents after I finished my post-grad because rent is quite expensive even though I live in a small town. I have a decent-paying job, earning almost $60,000 a year, but rent averages $1,500–$2,000 per month, and none of the lower-priced places are actually decent places to live. I just don't make enough to afford a house I'd feel comfortable in. I would need double my income for that...and I'm single, so it's just my salary. But honestly, I'm also kind of scared to leave home. My mom is not in the best of health, and I worry about her a lot. When I'm at home, I can take care of her. I want to move out, but I don't want to leave my mom. It really is a bit of a dilemma."

19. "I got a severe disease and needed a double lung transplant. Because of it, I cannot work and always have low energy levels. My living with them is mostly okay, but it depends on the day. Sometimes it sucks because my parents love to use the 'My house, my rules' or just make me feel guilty for living there."

—Anonymous, 34, Male, Oregon

20. "I swear I'm not a loser. I only moved in with my parents after my mom started getting sick. When she died, I stayed with my dad to keep him company when I got off work. He's 68 years old and retired. But I moved out two years ago, when I was 32. My dad was in an adulterous relationship with my then-wife. I learned that my dad had been cheating while my mum was sick. I have never felt more betrayed."

—Anonymous, 34, Male, UK

21. And finally: "I still live with my parents because I don't know where I want to live, and I'm saving my money. I've been doing this for 13 years since graduating from college. Some days, it's good because I can help them with things they need. Other days, I wish I lived on my own. I just haven't figured out how to do that yet, or where I should live, or who I could live with. It's hard for me to think about how I should live. I can't take care of myself, and the cost of living has dramatically increased for most people. I'm tired of being told when to shower and when to go to sleep all the time; it makes me feel like I'm still a kid. I wish I could pay for some of my own things. For now, it's okay to live with my parents, but I realize that I'm getting older and I won't be able to do it forever."

If you're an adult still living with a parent or both, what's your story? Drop yours in the comments or the anonymous form below — your honesty will help others feel less alone and maybe even inspire those in a similar boat.

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Imagine inheriting a home and trying to live there, only to find out the neighbors are so upset at your presence that the HOA approved a mandatory $155,000 assessment to try to force you out.

This is exactly the situation a Florida influencer is currently facing. According to multiple Instagram and TikTok posts by a 28-year-old content creator, Bethany Michel, she inherited her father's home, but the HOA voted to assess a mandatory fee to bring legal action to force her to leave.

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"On Wednesday, in order to sue me out of my own home, they're asking 155 residents on fixed incomes to do a mandatory $1,000 assessment," Michel said in an Instagram video.

While this may sound ridiculous, the reality is that lawyers say the community may have every right to move forward with this plan. And the question of whether Michel should be allowed to stay isn't as clear-cut as it seems.

Why is the HOA trying to force Michel out?

Michel's HOA wants the young influencer out of her home for a very simple reason. The house is in Freedom at Arbor Mill, which is a 55+ community.

And, as the neighborhood's declaration of covenants and restrictions clearly states, "Each occupied Home shall at all times be occupied by at least one person fifty-five (55) years of age or older."

While Michel explained that her father signed an addendum, which People indicated it had viewed, the addendum allows Michel to retain ownership of the home, but it's not clear from the document if she's allowed to continue living there.

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The HOA board clearly believes she isn't, and voted yes to the assessment on Wednesday, July 15. While HOA assessments are a common way to raise money to address neighborhood issues, Michel is concerned that the board voted on this without a neighborhood-wide vote, and fears some of her neighbors may struggle to come up with the extra money.

"Beyond my personal situation, what concerns me most is the impact this has on the community as a whole," Michel said in an email to People. "Many of my neighbors are seniors on fixed incomes, and this assessment could have significant financial consequences for them."

Plus, according to Realtor.com, Michel also must pay that $1,000 fee, so she has to "pay them to help sue myself."

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Does Michel have a right to stay?

Since Michel is 28 and the neighborhood's governing documents are clear that the community is for residents 55 and over, the question is whether she's in the right. Unfortunately for Michel, most experts think the HOA has the stronger case.

"Many people assume that inheriting a home also means inheriting the unrestricted right to occupy it. That's often not the case in age-restricted communities," William Plevy, an attorney and real estate broker, told Moneywise. "Ownership and occupancy are separate issues. An individual may be able to inherit ownership of the property while still being subject to restrictions on who may live there."

Plevy explained that the federal Housing for Older Persons Act (HOPA) gives communities a right to enforce age-based occupancy requirements, and Annamarie G. Gentile, a supervising partner and founder of Angiuli & Gentile, LLP in Staten Island, agrees.

In fact, Gentile told Moneywise that under this law, "55 and older communities are required to ensure that a minimum of 80% of the community's units have a resident who is at least 55 years of age."

Both Plevy and Gentile said the specific community covenants define both Michel's rights and responsibilities. And those covenants do allow homeowners to request hardship exceptions to the age requirements. [a]So, Michel could potentially argue she's experiencing hardship, but talking to a lawyer is likely her best bet.

"It's imperative for anyone inheriting a home in a 55+ community to seek guidance as early as possible as to the particular CC&Rs of that community," said Gentile.

Does Michel have any options?

If the community isn't willing to grant Michel a hardship exemption, Michel may find herself facing a (likely) losing court battle.

Gentile explained that Michel "stands in the shoes" of her dad who she inherited from. Since her dad was contractually bound by the HOA's rules, the transfer of the home because of his death "does not bestow any greater rights on the person who inherits." Michel must follow the same rules unless she can find legal grounds not to.

"The strongest arguments would likely focus on whether the community has consistently enforced its governing documents and whether it continues to qualify for the legal protections afforded to age-restricted communities, " Plevy said. "Likewise, if the association has previously allowed similar exceptions or has not consistently enforced its restrictions, those facts could become relevant."

Still, Plevy said these arguments are likely to be a stretch. And since the neighborhood's bylaws are clear, legal options may be limited.

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So, if Michel truly wants to spare her neighbors the $1,000 assessment fee, she may want to look to sell or rent to someone who does meet the age-based requirements — and who hopefully will get a warmer welcome at the next HOA event.

This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: Florida HOA hits 155 seniors with $1,000 each to force 28-year-old influencer out of inherited 55+ community home

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

• My family of five moved in with my parents earlier this year.

• There are plenty of benefits to multigenerational living that we experience every day.

• One thing I wasn't expecting was that my kids are learning more about the realities of about aging.

Since March, my family of five has been living with my parents in their two-story home on the Gold Coast, Australia. The youngest member of our household is our daughter, who is 3, while the oldest is my dad, who is 81.

When people talk about multigenerational living, the conversation usually centers on saving money. But for me, one of the real perks of living with my folks has been watching our three children develop a healthier, more compassionate understanding of what it means to grow old.

In many Western societies, older people often live separately from younger generations. Once they reach a certain age, they're more likely to move into retirement villages or elder care, meaning grandkids have little day-to-day contact with the realities of aging.

My parents have always hoped to live independently in their own home for as long as possible and to embrace aging with a positive mindset. By moving in with them, our family has become part of that journey.

My children have witnessed the everyday realities of aging

Every morning, my three kids watch Pop put in his "ears and eyes" (his hearing aids and contact lenses). They see how his back is a little stiff in the mornings, and it takes him time to straighten up, usually after some caffeine.

When Nana rolls out of bed, she often jokes about her poor night's sleep and her wonky bowel. Throughout the day, she discusses her aching legs, and the kids have remarked that she moves more slowly than she once did.

Rather than making aging seem frightening, I think these ordinary moments have helped normalize it. Growing older isn't something that should be hidden; it's simply another stage of life, one that we only get to experience if we're lucky.

Living together has nurtured empathy

When we used to visit my folks on family vacations, I don't think our kids really registered the age difference between them and their grandparents. To them, Nana and Pop were just two more adoring fans who bought them loads of ice creams and lollies.

But after living together for the past few months, I think our kids have become more empathetic about some of the physical limitations of old age. They know their grandparents need help around the house, and they're expected to bring in the bins, take out the rubbish, or lend a hand when needed.

Importantly, they've learned that every member of a household contributes in different ways, and that caring for each other is part of being a family.

My parents have shown them that getting older doesn't mean life stops

At 81 and 77, my folks still travel several times a year and are always planning their next trip. My mum's favorite quote whenever they get back from an adventure is, "Well, that sure beats sitting in a nursing home in a nappy, waiting for the inevitable."

They're still curious about the world, meeting new people, and picking up new hobbies. It's a powerful antidote to the stereotype that aging means sitting in an armchair watching reruns of Mash.

By living with my folks, our kids have seen a different version of how our golden years can look.

We're having more honest conversations about health and aging

In the past few months, Mum has been diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and Dad with Parkinson's disease. If we weren't living together, I probably wouldn't have told the kids about Nana and Pop being unwell.

However, living under the same roof has meant our children have noticed changes in my parents' health. They were there the night an ambulance took Mum to the hospital with lung trouble, and they've noticed Pop's slight tremor in his right hand.

As a result, we've had to have honest, age-appropriate conversations with the kids about my parents' health and the road ahead. Those discussions haven't always been easy, but rather than shielding our children from aging, we've helped them understand it with compassion.

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One of the greatest gifts of multigenerational living has been the perspective our children have gained. Aging wasn't something I learned about in a classroom, but rather by spending most afternoons at my grandparents' house growing up and witnessing it for myself.

It gives me comfort knowing that my children, too, will understand that getting older is a natural part of life, and that the older generation deserves our love, patience, and respect. I believe that particular life lesson is invaluable.

If you enjoyed this story, be sure to follow Business Insider on Yahoo.

Like many single women her age, Katie Nguyen, 36, is ready to find love and settle down.

The Los Angeles resident has a list of attributes she hopes she can find in a potential beau. Kind, caring — and lives alone without roommates.

In her opinion, this is not an excessive ask at all.

"I am at a point in life where I've been renting for a while and I'm actively on a search to buy a home," Nguyen, who's been living alone since her junior year of college, told The Post.

"Ideally, I would want the person I'm dating to feel like they're at that stage too."

Nguyen is not alone. Paulette Agu, host of the popular Petty Party Podcast, weighed in too.

"If a man doesn't have his own place, I'm not dealing with him. I'm not dealing with a man with a roommate either. It's a heavy no for me because I need you to be on your own, fully. I need to see it," she insisted on a recent episode.

And Reddit, TikTok and Instagram posts addressing the thorny topic have racked up thousands of comments, with women debating whether a roommate situation is a practical reality of expensive cities — or a sign that someone hasn't reached the level of independence they're looking for.

But as the cost of living spirals across the US — especially in populous states like New York and California — desires for self-sufficient men, not even a particularly rich one, have sparked furious backlash.

Specifically from the men — with roommates — themselves, who have waded in to defend their living situations.

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"I am so happy with my roommate, I love my money saved," protested one.

"I make $200k and still have a roommate," another objected. "Had my own spot and was like for what? Might as well live with bro til one of us get in a serious relationship."

"Well I live with my parents because I take care of them…" argued one more. "I also travel a lot for work so no point in paying rent for a home I won't be in…"

But for the women who take the opposite view, they insist it's the bare minimum.

For Nguyen, a West Coast recruiter and content creator, the question isn't simply "whether someone has a roommate" — it's whether they are intentionally "making choices about their future."

"It's really about independence and whether someone is compatible with the independent life I've built," she explained. "Me living alone is not only just a preference, [but] it's the way that I protect my own peace."

Some single women may need to adjust their dating criteria, because, unfortunately, many men choose to live with roommates longer than women do, according to Diggz, a New York City-based roommate marketplace.

And the median male roommate-seeker in New York is 26 compared to 24 for women, while the nationwide median age is 28 for men versus 26 for women.

When Rany Burstein, CEO of Diggz, was in his late 20s and single, he felt a ton of pressure to live alone — but now regrets it.

"I wanted to show potential girlfriends that I was successful and had my life together," Burstein told The Post.

But he believes that mindset has changed as housing costs have skyrocketed, arguing that roommates can "sometimes be a sign of financial responsibility rather than failure."

Fast forward to today, Burstein told The Post that ditching roommates to impress women wasn't worth it, saying the money he spent living alone could have instead gone toward investments and buying a home.

New York City denizen Ciara O'Reilly, 23, understands why some women see a potential suitor living solo as appealing.

"If someone I'm dating lives alone, it shows independence and financial security," O'Reilly told The Post. "It's also nice to have a place to go with a date that is private."

She added that living on her own has made her "feel more mature," and "therefore inspired to hold my standards higher."

The Gen Zer has dated men living with roommates in the past and says her experiences with that arrangement now make her reconsider whether potential suitors are worth her time.

"It does make me think twice as to whether or not I actually like this person," she said.

Still, she stressed that living alone is not a foolproof sign someone is ready for commitment, and having roommates doesn't always mean someone isn't.

"I know many men who live alone who aren't ready for a serious relationship and vice versa," she said.

Tampa dweller Cassie Leigh, 31, thinks the issue comes down to a different concern for her: not wanting to inherit someone else's housing complications.

Leigh, who has lived independently since graduating high school, prefers dating someone without roommates because she values having her own space.

"If I'm dating someone and I'm spending time at their place, I'm absolutely not going to enjoy having to readapt the lifestyle that I've built for myself," she said. "I'm dating the guy, not his roommates."

Her opinion was shaped by past experiences, including one relationship where a roommate situation eventually forced her and her partner to temporarily move in with his parents after the roommate became sick.

She also said a separate roommate issue involving them bringing bedbugs into the home created additional stress and expenses.

"For anyone who thinks this preference is too picky or unrealistic, I think once you are displaced because of your significant other's roommate's lack of consideration, you would probably feel differently," Leigh said.

She added, "Anyone who is over 30 and can't afford their own bills is a massive red flag for me."

"It makes me wonder what they're spending their money on, and if they can't make good financial choices now, they probably won't when we're dating either."

When I wrote an article last week about bitter millennials resenting the lavish lifestyles of their boomer parents, more than one commenter predicted that my own mother and father would never speak to me again after reading it. Naturally, I was a little concerned (was it really that inflammatory?), but after an anxious call home, I was relieved to hear that they did, in fact, intend to keep me in their lives.

Still, they had some thoughts – mostly about how difficult it was in the 1980s and 1990s when they were raising my two brothers and me in London, and how few holidays, meals out and trips to the theatre they enjoyed in that period.

"I remember sitting in a basement flat with small children begging your father to find a job anywhere else in the world just to get me out of there," my mother said. "For well over a decade, the only foreign trips we took were ferry crossings to France, where we'd stay in cheap gîtes in Normandy or Brittany – and the reason we had so little money was that every spare penny was going on your school fees."

Now, quite reasonably, she feels it is her turn to live a little and see the world.

And while I admit to occasional attacks of the green-eyed monster as they send pictures of African sunrises and European piazzas, I am happy they are enjoying their lives. But what I was trying to capture in the piece was the idea that the luckiest generation of all continues to win the financial, social and cultural lottery – and that perhaps they owe their children a little more of their retirement than they think they do.

Boomers, however, were not happy with my assessment, and thousands of readers railed against the notion that they were unusually entitled, arguing that their post-war lives were tougher than anything today's youth could imagine.

"I started working at 12 [helping the milkman] and continued early shifts in all weathers until I was 17, pumping petrol every weekend until I was 19, [and] then into full-time work without a break in employment until I was 62," said Stephen Tye, in the comments section of my article.

"My early married life was paying a 14 per cent mortgage rate and going around the supermarket with a cheap calculator so we were not embarrassed at the till by exceeding our £5 food budget, and no holidays at all. So don't you dare lecture me on how I can now enjoy the fruits of my 50-plus years of labour."

'I want to travel, and I refuse to feel bad about that'

Similarly, boomers seem to be ignoring the millennial plea that – instead of constant globe-trotting – they could try hunkering down at home for a change and offering to babysit more than once every four months. With most mortgages requiring two salaries and childcare costs soaring (in London, a nursery place costs around £20,000 a year), families find themselves deeply reliant on grandparental support – only to find the grandparents have vanished.

"I'm a grandmother, not a babysitter," retorts Jenny, 73. "I love my grandchildren, and I'm more than happy to have them for a weekend or an evening now and then, but I have no interest in taking care of a toddler three days a week and picking up kids from school every afternoon. I did all that 35 years ago. This is my retirement, and I'd like to have the freedom to plan my own days."

And then there's Harriet, 67, who already looks after her young grandsons multiple afternoons a week so her daughter can work full time. It's a role that she finds exhausting yet rewarding, but she has no truck with the idea that she should also scale back her holidays.

"I made it clear to my daughter that for two months a year, she'd have to find alternate arrangements. I want to travel, and I refuse to feel bad about that when I'm working bloody hard helping raise her boys."

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Mostly, this generation seems bemused that young parents today feel their lives are unfairly mundane and difficult when their memories of childrearing are anything but glamorous.

"Having little children is deeply meaningful, but it's not a period that is filled with pleasure in the traditional sense," says Janine, 70. "We all lived through the potty-training, fish fingers, mad-rush-in-the-morning years and, believe me, it was hard then too – particularly for women, who were less likely to have interesting jobs and supportive husbands than they are now."

Janine also finds it confusing that her children rail against not being able to go on city breaks or on lavish holidays. "Unless you're very rich, that's what happens when you have babies," she says. "Accept it, and stop blaming your parents because they have some time and money to enjoy themselves."

Still, most boomers understand that the housing market has spiralled out of control in the years since they were young – and that this has made everything harder. Equally, many would also argue that they are already acting as a private welfare state for their millennial children, with statistics showing that relatives contributed nearly £11bn towards deposits for first-time buyers in 2025. Some parents also help with student debt, which can cost around £48,000 in England.

"We made sure our two had no student loans, and we gave them both some money for a flat," says Robert Jenkins, 68, a Telegraph reader. "But once we'd done that, I felt like our work was done. I have a good pension, and my wife and I are enjoying our lives. We travel a lot, and we absolutely don't feel guilty about it."

Equally, a number of boomers seem to believe that young people are partly to blame for this situation, not least because of their voting habits, which skew Left in the UK for every demographic under the age of 45. "Millennials. You wanted woke... you end up with a crap economy as a result. Thatcher created us boomers. You vote Labour. Work it out," was one such comment made in response to my point that we are working through one of the most highly taxed eras in modern history.

'Our children have forgotten the sacrifice we made'

But baby boomers also seem to believe their children are responsible for the mundanity of their lives in other – arguably more devastating – ways.

"We mostly had children in our 20s, and the thought of staying at home every night never really occurred to us," says Caroline, 74. "We found a way to pay for babysitters and went out dancing or had friends over for dinner and stayed up until 3am. Yes, it was tiring, but it was fun."

But when Caroline looks at her own children – who mostly waited until their late 30s to have families – she worries that they have given up on excitement and romance. "They have these huge televisions, and they worry about letting anyone else do bedtime, so they just sit at home every evening – and when they do go out, it's to see one school friend. Where's the glamour? Where's the flirting? I don't think it's healthy, but I can't tell you how cross it makes my daughter when I suggest she should live a little."

And then there are the baby boomers who believe it is not they, but their adult children, who are infuriatingly spendthrift. Catherine and Michael are both in their early 70s and made the difficult decision to sell their beautiful five-bedroom house a few years ago to help their three children get on the housing ladder. They now live in a much smaller cottage, and it rankles to see their offspring spending far more lavishly than they ever would.

"Concert tickets at £200 a pop, new dresses at £300 a go and meals out in London three times a week," says Catherine. "My children were grateful when we gave them each a sizeable deposit, but I think they have forgotten the sacrifice we made to do so, and it can grate a little when I hear about them buying things or doing things my husband and I can't afford precisely because we gave them all our money."

In the end, perhaps, the only thing each generation has in common is the conviction that they have it harder than everyone else – and that nobody appreciates their immense sacrifice.

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For generations, the formula for getting ahead in America seemed straightforward: Go to college, work hard, save your money, buy a home and climb the economic ladder.

Today, that formula increasingly depends on something many Americans can't control: whether their family has the financial means to help along the way. Without that support, many Americans face mounting debt and an increasingly difficult – if not impossible – path to homeownership and wealth accumulation.

The dependence is especially pronounced among young adults, who are entering an economy that has become less forgiving. Breaking into the job market is tougher than it was just a few years ago; everyday expenses are eating up a larger share of paychecks; student loan debt continues to weigh on borrowers; and would-be homeowners are being pushed to the sidelines as high prices collide with stubborn mortgage rates.

That reality is reshaping the role of family support. Nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 received assistance from someone they don't live with to cover recurring expenses over the past year — such as housing, transportation and medical bills — according to the Federal Reserve's latest Survey of Household Economics and Decisionmaking.

An almost identical share (49%) of people from that cohort also reported living with parents, according to the survey, which was fielded in October. That's up six percentage points from 2022 and 12 percentage points from 2019.

"I definitely am seeing kids tied to their parents longer," said Nate Kinzinger, a wealth adviser at Small World Wealth Management, a division of Northwestern Mutual. Part of it is that they're not earning enough to support themselves, he said. But they're also not changing their lifestyles to save money. Instead, he said, "they're asking their parents to give them more."

Among what he describes as the "moderately affluent" families he advises, Kinzinger said parents often oblige.

Not every family has the financial means to do so.

Giving while living

For parents who can afford it, giving financial assistance to adult children has become a way to help them meet their immediate needs, rather than making their children wait until they pass away to inherit it, said Emily Irwin, a managing director of private wealth planning at Wells Fargo.

"They're reflecting upon their goals, and they're saying that they find more joy, fulfillment and purpose in being able to see the impact," she said.

That philosophy shaped the decision David made after inheriting more than half a million dollars from his parents at the age of 61. David, a retired physical therapist who is now 68, asked that his family's last name not be used to protect their privacy.

His financial adviser had already assured him that the roughly $750,000 he and his wife had saved for retirement plus the additional $566,000 he inherited was more than enough to support them. So he decided to give $50,000 to both of his children. While his adviser encouraged him to put himself first and keep all the money, he felt that given the simple lifestyle he leads, if he couldn't get by without the extra $100,000, he was doing something wrong.

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He gave them the money on Christmas Day 2019, tucked inside cards alongside a letter and deposit slips.

"Grammie and Papa worked hard and were frugal. They lived the American dream," he wrote. "Despite being the children of a machinist and housewife; and a road crew supervisor and librarian, they were the first generation of their families to leave to their children an inheritance of more than a million dollars."

"Yes, unbeknownst to us Grammie and Papa were millionaires."

David's son, Phillip, 37, felt the gift was motivated by guilt over the amount of debt he took on to graduate college. David rejected that explanation, saying his decision was driven by his own financial stability and the belief that the money would have a greater impact on his children if they received it earlier in life.

Phillip ended up using the money to pay off his private student loans and put the rest toward a down payment on a home with his wife.

"I am obviously grateful to my grandparents and my parents for the gift they gave me and my wife, but socially I feel a certain level of guilt around it," he said. "My wife and I make a comfortable living, but without the money, we likely never would have been able to save up for a down payment on a house in the area we live in," he said.

The home they purchased in July 2020 for $359,000 was assessed at $553,000 just two years later, an illustration of how quickly access to homeownership can translate into wealth accumulation. Nationally, the median new home sales price increased 32% to over $430,000 during that time period, according to Census Bureau data. "Our house is a perfect microcosm of why inheritance has become almost a necessity to become homeowners now," Phillip said.

Phillip's sister, Chelsea, used her inheritance differently. She paid off all her student loans and put the remainder in retirement investment accounts.

"It really has allowed me to build a pretty strong support net for myself," Chelsea, 40, told CNN. "I'm certainly grateful to have benefited from that generational pass-down."

When parents say no

Nick, a 36-year-old who works in environmental compliance, has the polar opposite experience. He similarly asked that he not be identified by his full name in order to protect his family's privacy.

In 2012, his parents took out an $85,000 loan to purchase a home in full for his sister, who was single at the time.

Four years later, when he was looking to purchase his own home, prices had surged and his parents said they could no longer afford to do the same. They didn't offer him any money toward buying a home either, he said.

He does, however, live with his parents in a small town north of Nashville and contributes toward living expenses. But, despite saving money and landing a job that pays more than $80,000 a year, he hasn't come close to the amount he would need for a down payment and other costs of buying a home.

Saddled with "an ungodly amount of student loans," Nick said he's focused on saving enough money to move abroad in a country like Spain, where he believes he'd have a much better shot at purchasing a home on his own.

"I finally feel like I've gotten a decent job and have a good income. Then inflation and everything else kicks in, and then housing prices continue to run up," Nick said.

"It's like, 'Well, maybe homeownership in America wasn't meant to be for me."

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