The Joke Didn’t Land…line
In November 2017, our company eliminated a department because the volume of the product they handled had drastically decreased, and natural attrition wasn’t decreasing enough, as we had very low turnover. The powers that be decided we no longer needed the department in a high-cost-of-living location and were moving it to Middle America, where we already had a small version of the same department and wouldn’t need to hire that many to make up for our department’s shutdown.
As such, everyone in the department was given the opportunity to interview for other positions in our company or to take paid time off to interview at other companies. Our company also hired a consultant to assist with updating resumes, give mock interviews, and even provide referrals. The date for the “layoff” was 4/1/2018, which gave everyone five months to move on. People who were unable to find another position or chose to retire were given one week’s salary for every year they were here, with a minimum of two weeks. They would also pay for COBRA during that same amount of time. (Note: You had to stay until the last day to qualify for this; if you left before, you were not eligible for the payout. Yes, some people double-dipped having a position that started after that date, but not many.)
Now to back up, this department is a call center. These are phone agents. I’m not saying that they are at the bottom of the totem pole and should be treated differently, but these are no-experience-needed positions as long as you can read/write and use basic PC skills. So, for the company to take such care while we were in an “at-will” state was far beyond what is normal.
Enter Bob. Bob had been with the company as a front-line phone agent for fifteen years. They had zero desire to move up or move to another position in the company. Which is fine; he was in his 60s and wanted an easy job that never changed, which, for the most part, this position was.
Every week, I would check in with everyone on my team to make sure they were doing okay, and if I could help them get time off to interview, etc. Every week, Bob said he was good and didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Our team meetings, which took place monthly during this time, focused mainly on how everyone was doing and whether they had gotten another job; for those who had, we would congratulate them.
On the Friday before the closure, I made sure to say bye to Bob as he worked Monday – Friday and would not be there on the last day, which was a Saturday. I told him that he was one of my favorite employees and always reminded me of the grandpa in Up, as he looked so tough but was really very sweet. I sent him over to HR so they could give him his final paperwork and sign anything if needed.
Of the hundred agents on the last day, only fifteen remained. Everyone thought they would be on the phones that last Saturday, but the company threw a small party with catered food, gave out some gift cards, and let the agents take home their PC Monitors if they wanted them, since they were all going to be recycled.
I happened to get another position in the company, as I was in the same boat as everyone else. During all of this, I didn’t clean out my supervisor’s “Cube” because I was trying to help everyone else. I get in early on Monday so I can take everything down and pack what I was going to take to my new office (with real walls!).
As I’m packing up my stuff, I hear someone nearby, which is odd as the entire room should be silent. I get up and try to find out who is here with me, and I see Bob sitting at his desk and taking calls. I waited for the call to end, logged him out, and asked what he was doing here. He said that he was working and asked what I wanted. Confused, I stated that I said good-bye to him Friday and asked what happened when he went to HR.
He said that he didn’t go. I asked him why, and he said he didn’t understand the joke, so he didn’t participate like everyone else. Even more confused, I asked him what he was talking about. He said the April Fools’ joke.
I’m dumbfounded at this point and asked if he could elaborate. He said the joke about the call center shutting down on April 1st. That it was all a joke, and that people will be so upset when they figure it out. Still not fully understanding, I said that the call center is shut down. That everyone has moved on to other positions or took the payout, as he did. He repeated that he still doesn’t understand the joke, but he needed to get back on the phones as there were calls in the queue.
Now, this is where the company made a mistake. For some reason, his access wasn’t turned off on Friday, and they still had access to everything, including calls routing to him, as we still had calls, but those were now being answered by the forty people in our other call center.
Not wanting to cause further issues, I went back to my desk, called HR, and let them know what was going on. HR made me repeat everything to them as they didn’t understand what was going on. During all of this, I saw the CEO enter the room with several other C-Suite executives, who were going to gut it and turn it into a showroom for clients. I decided to go over to the CEO and let them know what was going on with Bob and that HR was on their way.
The CEO asked how long Bob had been here, and I told him fifteen years. This was the only position he had ever held in the company. They were a retired postal worker and liked having an easy job to come into each day. The CEO and I went over to Bob and had him log out after his call. The CEO shook his hand and introduced him to the other executives. While he’s doing this, I spoke with IT to disable all of their access.
The CEO includes Bob in the tour and shows them the mock-ups for how the room is going to be transformed. By the time I’m done packing up my desk, the CEO has walked Bob out to his car, accompanied by HR, who had him sign the final paperwork. The CEO comes back over to me and laughs at the “April Fools” joke they have been doing for the last five months. He says he felt bad for Bob but thinks he will be okay, as his wife wanted him to retire years ago, and he has nine grandchildren that he doesn’t get to see much.
A memo went out to everyone in management shortly after all of this stating that, going forward, no employee will be let go on April 1st. In addition, we were instructed to hold off on terminations on other dates, including two weeks before Christmas and Thanksgiving week. Since then, every April 1st, the CEO and I exchange memes of people thinking an actual event is a joke.
