Just a bit of background - I'm a 40-something husband, dad and veteran.

A few weeks ago, I was let go from my government job despite a decade of great work. It's been a massive blow and I feel like somebody stepped on my fingers just as I was trying to pull myself up from the ledge. I also hate that a group of Trump-loving, anti-govt types took over the local council and decided that massive layoffs were in order. (I'll leave it at that since I don't want to make this too political).

Last weekend I got way too drunk and got in an argument with my wife about an upcoming anti-mask/anti-vax rally. I talked about going there to counter-protest and then most have made some joke about packing my 9mm too. I don't even remember most of what I said but promised not to drink that much again. Things were quiet Saturday and Sunday but I figured everything was alright. But this morning she told me that she's freaked out and is worried I'm about to go be a mass shooter.

To be clear, that's not my intention at all. I know I have some anger issues such as once having punched a wall and occasionally throwing objects, but I've never hurt my family or strangers. I'm even lucky never to have had to kill someone the military though there were a few close calls. Most of my anger is self directed and I rarely yell or fight with my family.

So any advice on how to improve the situation is welcome. I'm not proud of my behavior but I figured every guy at loses his cool and goes on a rant from time to time. Should I be worried that I'm actually much closer to the edge than I think? I just don't know what to do since I feel a lot of my anger and panic are completely justified in how I was treated. I'm just wondering how to express those feelings more positively.