R
Retry

• Are you sure you are fine with this ?

• Yes, Dad. I will read some of the books that I should study for the Autumn term.

• In that case… I will fetch your sister to the activity centre and pick you up so we can go all together to the restaurant in the evening.

• Great idea, Dad.

What a model child I was ! Look at this maturity, this self-denial, this devotion to school !

As soon as he passed the doorway to go to his girlfriend’s, I discreetly peeped by the stairs window at the car going out of the alley. The air was hot and heavy. Dark clouds were forming to the horizon on this late August afternoon. A thunderstorm was building. I came down to lock the front door and hurried to get the adult diaper that I prepared two days earlier. I had almost 24 ABDL hours ahead of me alone, finally alone ! and a whole house in which I could freely come and go in my nappy.

I ostensibly laid in the middle of the living room carpet to strap the cherished Molicaire. I got up in a jump and walked to the kitchen to pour myself a big glass of fresh and sparkling water. The noise, the friction sensations against my thighs provoked a little spontaneous dance move on the way. Half a litre of water in one hand, I went back on the carpet. A very calm and gentle moment followed when I did nothing but groped.

Laying down. Groping.

Roll on one side. Groping the front.

Drink a bit. Groping.

Roll on the belly. Groping the behind.

Sit up. Rubbing on the floor. Groping again.

In order to prevent all risk of fingers cramps, I decided to build up my strength and order a pizza.

“Our delivery boy will arrive in 45 minutes”

My bladder started to express its presence. The diaper girl I was thought about inaugurating my absorbing outfit to temper the frustration of the waiting. I opened my legs, put my hand on the front of the diaper and… had another idea. I would keep that pee. I would keep it for 45 long minutes and let myself go at the moment the pizza would be handed over to me. That idea instantly activated my libido. The need to go to the bathroom disturbed my caress. Never mind. This too would wait. I went to dress for the moment I would receive my delivery. A long moment went by until I found the perfect pants that let the diaper slightly visible without being too obvious and that the fake hastily put on T-shirt let the Molicare sticking out a little bit.

Then I turned the TV on to make the time go faster. I glanced every five minutes at the hand of the clock that seemed reluctant to move properly. I wanted to pee harder and harder. Kneeling on the carpet, I was prancing about when the doorbell finally rang. I got up andn adjusted my outfit. I thought about the moment I would release myself in front of the delivery boy. I had cramps by dint of holding myself. I arrived to the front door with a confused mind. The arousal in contradiction with my physical needs, the fact that I had to hold myself for 10 seconds still linked with the preparation to let myself go in front of a stranger ; I could not take it anymore. The hand on the door handle, the delivery boy waiting outside, I lost control of my bladder. It released itself provoking an irrepressible squeak. Seconds went by, my left hand still on the handle, my right one gagging my mouth to muffle the relief wheeze. The delivery boy rang one more time. I was stunned by the adrenaline. I opened the door, feeling ashamed and disoriented. I gave the money to the man avoiding to look him in the eyes. He gave me my change, obviously embarrassed. A deep warmth was spreading in the diaper. I also felt that it slightly leaked and that a bit of urine was absorbed by my pants. The delivery boy marched, I thanked him before I lock the door with two turns of the key.

I run to the living room, put the pizza on the table and threw off my pants. The quantity of liquid together with the fact that the diaper was oversized indeed created a leak. Now that everything had been absorbed, the situation was stable. With my hand laid in front of the diaper, I could feel the lasting warmth. I pushed hard so the soaked material pressed against my scrotch. I made some back and forth movements harder and harder, faster and faster. I closed my eyes and thought about William. I imagined that he was the one rubbing me, I remembered his caresses, his smiles, his tender looks.
I needed a few minutes after reached the highest point of pleaser to get up and reconnect with reality. The smell of pizza made my stomach rumble. It was barely warm. That would be enough.

The thunder broke out when I ended up eating in front of the TV. The air became cooler, more breathable. The power of the storm gave to this evening an even more magical atmosphere.

I kept the diaper until midday the day after. After the wake up pee and another one in the late morning, the absorption showed its limits. That did not matter. I had a diaper for more that 12 hours, the longest ABDL moment I had until then. This experience raised my mood to the highest level. I put the soaked diaper in a plastic bag and went to throw it in a public bin a couple of streets away.
By the end of the afternoon, the noise of the alley gravels announced the return of my father with my sister. Has a part of him been suspicious? Has he thought, like all parents, that I would throw the party of the century while he was gone ? Was he relieved when he brought me fresh as the dew, smiling as a Murakami daisy, eating by the port ? I would dare to say that is was the first step for him to allow me more independence. On my side, this small stay had been the trigger of a new obsession : I had to retry.

Quality

When I actually had them in hand, I knew everything would be different. The diaper pack I just stole from the chemist’s was definitely too big and, reluctantly, I started taking out some of it to hide in my backpack. Once the wrapping tore off, I grabbed four diapers. It seemed to be 10 times the size of my little Pampers. A clear white « L » in a violet circle pointed out a slight overcompensation sizewise. Another noteworthy information : 8 drops out of 10 gave an idea of the absorption capacity. The four Chosen One fitted perfectly in the central compartment. I closed it and hid the rest of my plunder between two cloth bins a little bit further. It was time to come home.

When the bus arrived I wanted to take my bus card… obviously held in the little inside pocket of my bag. I did my best to catch it without exposing too much of my ABDL kit. In vain. The diapers were so purple, so imposing, so noisy that even if the driver was blind* he would have noticed. I walked towards the far end, my face as red as a beet, dragging behind me my fallen self-esteem.

When I arrived at home, I ran to my room. With gentle, almost ceremonious moves, I put the lot of new diapers among the others in the suitcase under my bed. It was still early, I could not possibly try them so soon. I wanted to wear it all night long. I wanted to nestle myself in it like a cat in its basket. I wanted to finally feel the sensation those diapers girls were writing so much about.

When the household eventually went to bed, time had come. I lit the night light and pulled the suitcase from under the bed. I took one of those enormous diapers and opened it on my bed. As soon as I leant on, the thickness and surface it covered revolutionised my world. I fastened the two down tabs. No doubt it was too large for me, but that detail could not possibly spoil my moment. I pulled a bit on the backside and fastened the two last straps. It was divine. The diaper reached up to my waist, softly wrapping the skin of my hips. I laid on my side, in heaven. The overabundance of material between my inner thighs was a bit uncomfortable. A lower size diaper would fit me better. It did not matter. I was savouring that one.

In the hurry of going into my room, I forgot in the kitchen the large glass of water I had prepared. I mechanically put my pyjama pants on. Looking into the mirror, I saw the huge bottom that the diaper made me. It was reckless to go like this : had I met my mother or my sister, it would have made them twitch. I pricked up my ears. No sounds. I carefully opened the door dressed as I was. No way I was taking off so soon that object of happiness.

I hurried to cross the living room over to reach the kitchen. The rubbing sounds of the diaper put all my senses on alert. My heart was beating hard. To my own surprise, it was not fear, it was excitement. I seized the glass of water on the edge of the sink and turned around. Once the door of my room closed, I quickly put the glass on my bedside table, I sent my pyjama pants to the floor, laid down on my bed and groped with two hands the diaper. The thickness made a buffer that toned the sensations down. Groped even harder. The frustration intensified my pleasure. I was in trance. I kneeled, pulling on my diaper for it to rub my intimate parts. I was panting, my cheeks blushing. I ended up hopping over the headboard. The weight of my body worked in my favour. I now felt the whole of that wooden bar against my crotch. A few minutes later, I reached the ultimate pleasure.

I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to get a grip on myself. I soon came to my senses again. What is a diaper made for already ? With a sly smile, I let myself go. The warmth surrounded parts of my body that were still sensitive. It was perfect. I drank bottom up my glass of water and slipped under my sheet. Within 10 minutes I was asleep, filled with an inner peace that I had never felt before. My bladder woke me up in the middle of the night. I peed one more time, not even thinking about a possible leak, and I went back to sleep, happy.

It was some oversized Molicare Super +. After checking, they absorbed 3300 ml. Yeah. Any ABDL would consider them today as poor. Despite all this, I never felt sensations like those again. I know of course better diapers, I experienced some very satisfying things, however I never went back to that state of discovery, redeemed frustrations, fulfilment like this night. 

Next morning lie in was interrupted by my mother knocking on my door. 

“Daisy, do not forget that your father is coming for you this afternoon. You should start packing !”

We ended the summer holiday with a couple of weeks at my father’s. He had been dated a girl for about a year, but they did not live together. When we used to stay a rather long time at his place, he sometimes left us with money to order some pizzas and was going to her flat. My sister still had to go to the activity centre for a week. Therefore chances were rather high that I could spend a whole day home alone. 

At the very bottom of my bag, the second Molicaire was waiting for me. I knew it was a rare resource, but I was okay with it. Since then, I have always preferred quality over quantity.

P
That Pack

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. What got into me ? The bulky bundle in the hands, I kept on slaloming in the alleys. My throat hurt. My lungs were inflating and deflating their best without succeeding to satisfy my needs of oxygen. The day was hot, the air full of dust. I turned in a corner of a street that was leading to a not-so-frequented path. I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. I hold it for a moment to listen to potential footsteps that might have followed me in my escape. Nothing. Nothing but my heart beating wildly. Nothing but the regular soundscape of a tranquil city. Sweat drops were running on my temples, my back was dripping. When my heart rate came back to normal, I lowered my eyes. What on earth was I going to do with this ?

The week before, I took some time on a diaper review on the ABDL forum I visited when I could. Since the beginning of summer school break, I have had more often peaceful access to the family computer. My mother used to work most of the day and my sister liked to install herself in the neighbour's house or went for her new passion : rollerblades. I took advantage of that situation to regularly do some reading sessions on the internet. Those articles developed my desires and my frustration at the same time. I discovered new forms, textures, sensations… in writings. Do not make me say what I did not say, I love writings and the infinity of the reveries linked to it. Still… Imagination has its limits.
The stock of Pampers Baby Dry hidden in my old suitcase slowly decreased. They were not enough anymore to quench my ABDL thirst.

The issues were always the same :money and above all the storage capacity. I was not sure at all that the huge adult diaper packs seen at the chemist’s would entirely fit in my secret hiding place. If my mother scarcely entered my bedroom, my sister and I often spent time in here together. It was not rare that she would open the closet to try out some of my old outfits or that she looked for petty objects I consented to lending her. Therefore I hardly could have spread the quilted lot on my territory. Not even mentioning the fact that I would have to carry the pack from a chemist to my home in a quite unusually-large bag.

Those emotions amplified by the management of teenagehood’s hormones left me in uncomfortable states. I scowled, not having anyone to talk to about my inner quarrels. I never brought myself to open up to William either. He was my first love, my first tries, my first serious relationship. We discovered together a panel of things that make a teenager turn into an adult. In spite of the global confidence I had in him and our mutual affection, a presentiment that he would not understand persisted. He never seeked to understand what I was sometimes concerned about for that matter. Neither did he open a door on an alternative sexuality. I tried hard to persuade myself that I enjoyed what we had. All my friends seemed delighted with what, on a technical point of view, looked a lot like my own relation. Why was I not so blooming ? Why, when we ended up making the beast with two backs with William, I had to think of something else to go through with my pleasure ?

The start of the autumn term was almost here. Some friends freshly returned from holiday and I met for an ice-cream in the city nearby. C. had gone camping in the south with her cousin. A bit older than we were, the latter had experienced some furtive relations with an activity leader of the holiday centre. She confied herself to my friend emphasising the fleetingness of the affair and the excitation provoked by this forbidden haste. I listened while doing my best to sculpt on my face a false air of admiration. In the bottom of myself, I could not make sense of those mechanisms. The ABDL readings were coming over and over in the back of my head.

The chemist was on my way to the bus stop. I had nothing to do there, only the buzzing attracted me inside. Tourists and local people, families and elderly were busy between the purchase of solar cream, mosquito repellent and other prescription exchanges. My only goal was to touch a bundle of diapers if they had some.

They had some.

I kneeled facing the downshelves, directly to the left of the door. There was an ambient hubbub that isolated me in my thoughts. I laid my hands on both sides of the large pack. My heart speeded up. A group of children were playing on a small red table that was there for them a little further. Pharmacists were at work. No one paid any attention to me.

I brought my seizure closer by putting it on my raised knees. The diapers were so big, so quilted… My throat tightened. No one was paying any attention to me.

I got up to thwart a loss of balance. In the move, I held closer against my chest the object of my desire. My cheeks reddened. No one was paying any attention to me. 

The pressure in my skull increased. I squeezed even more. That embrace made me dizzy. No one was paying any attention to me.

My hands started to be numb, my legs became like jelly. An alarm was echoing inside me : the one that made me remember all the harmful consequences of my first diapers thefts. No one was paying attention.

My fingers tapped on the thin plastic wrap. No one.

The door opened. A couple came in. I slipped out before they closed it an I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.

When my heart rate came back to normal, I lowered my eyes. What on earth was I going to do with that huge pack ?