I used to drive a metered taxi in NYC. I pick up a passenger in Lower Manhattan who needs to get to southern Brooklyn.

Passenger: “How much should this cost?”

Me: “Probably around sixty dollars and about forty-five minutes. That will include the toll through the Hugh L. Carey Tunnel.”

Passenger: “Can’t you just take the Brooklyn Bridge?”

Me: “The traffic there is crazy at this time of day.”

Passenger: “How much is the toll?”

Me: “About seven dollars.”

Passenger: “Nope. I’m not paying seven dollars to the government.”

Me: “Okay, but the toll route is the reason it’s only forty-five minutes.”

Passenger: “Can we take the bridge?”

Me: “We can, but it’ll take a long time.”

Passenger: “Do that.”

Me: “I should warn you that’ll probably turn a sixty-dollar ride into something closer to a hundred and twenty.”

Passenger: “No way! How?”

Me: “Because the meter is still running when we’re sitting in traffic. You’ll spend far more avoiding the toll than paying it.”

Passenger: “It’s the principle. I don’t want the government to win.”

Me: “It’s your money.”

So off we go. About an hour later, we’re barely on the other side of the bridge.

Passenger: “How much are we at now?”

Me: “About sixty-five dollars.”

Passenger: “Already? Well, hurry up!”

Thirty minutes later:

Passenger: “How much now?”

Me: “Ninety-three.”

Passenger: “Ninety-three dollars?! This is ridiculous.”

Me: “I did estimate around one hundred and twenty.”

Passenger: “Well, I didn’t think you meant it! This is insane. Forget it. Just forget it! Just take me to the nearest subway station.”

Me: “You don’t want to continue?”

Passenger: “No! I’ll take the train.”

Me: “All right.”

I drop him off at the Jay St-MetroTech subway station.

Me: “One hundred and seven dollars.”

Passenger: “For that?!”

Me: “But you did save seven dollars in tolls!”

He pays and then storms off toward the station, having spent over a hundred dollars to avoid paying seven.

Like a lot of people in my county, I had to pick between oil and electricity this winter. Despite using all I could for help, state and others, I still had to use my heaters to keep my home warm for my daughter and I, as a result, I have a large light bill all winter. 

It finally got to a point where it was too much, and they discussed a payment plan. The payment was decided; I let them know when I usually got paid (once a month) and agreed to it.

Now, as it goes, say the bill we got in May was the bill meant for June. It’s a month ahead. Also, the payment isn’t included in the bill; it has to be remembered on top of it, and nowhere on your paper copy or digital does it ever inform you of this. 

Due to an incident, I thought I would pay my normal bill, then call in the payment. Instead, the following happened. Do note that the ladies are acting very unpleasantly and as if I’m asking for the impossible.

Lady #1: “How can I help you?”

Me: “I’d like to pay my payment for the payment plan, please?”

Lady #1: “Okay, can I have your name and address?”

I provide her with the information.

Me: “I know I just put $[amount] down, I just really want to make sure that—”

Lady #1: “So you paid last month’s bill, not this month’s.”

Me: “…Huh?”

Lady #1: “I know it’s confusing.”

Me: “Okay uh… do I owe anythi—”

Lady #1: “You owe [twice as much].”

Me: “…W-What? That doesn’t… that doesn’t sound right…”

Lady #1: “Well, that’s what you owe on your payment plan.”

Me: “Wait, I really don’t—”

Lady #1: *Transfers me to another woman.*

Me: “…”

Lady #2: “Okay, listen, you owe $[amount] in June, and you need to pay the rest—”

Me: “Wait, please, I… I don’t understand. I just paid, and I wanted—”

Lady #2: “And it’s fully on you. Now—”

Me: *Starts crying.* “But I can’t afford that right now! I just made a payment.”

Lady #2: “I see that, but you will owe that much—”

Me: “—Wait, so it shows that I paid the bill?”

Lady #2: “Yes, but you owe this much and your payment.”

Me: “What? I… What? I just… just wanted to pay my payment plan!”

Lady #2: “And that’s what you owe.” *Transfers me back.*

At this point, I’m so confused and still crying. The original lady got back on the phone, but I heard a man take it out of her hand and berate her and her coworker.

Man: “I am so sorry, miss. Your bill is only $33. I promise that’s all you owe. Please accept my apology. We have a lot of people on these plans, and I know these ladies can behave better. Let me please process that for you.”

We get it processed, and I stop crying. The man explained that the other bill is not twice as much. Yes, it’s due in June, but he sees the note on my file about being paid once a month, and I am all set in terms of bills. When we go to hang up, I hear this last bit:

Man: “That’s the fourth one you made cry! What is wrong with you two!? You know how this works, and people are worried enough as it is!”

I have applied a customer’s coupon at the checkout, resulting in a small discount. 

Customer: “Twenty-five cents came off for the deal, right?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Then why is it $3.50?”

Me: “Because the item was $3.49 before the coupon. The coupon brought it down to $3.24, and then sales tax was added.”

Customer: “So the coupon didn’t come off!”

Me: “It did. The tax is twenty-six cents. The coupon was twenty-five cents. If you hadn’t had a coupon, you’d be paying something like $3.77.”

Customer: “See! It didn’t come off then. I’ve been overcharged!”

Me: “It’s $.08 per dollar for tax.”

Customer: “So you just took my money off but added it all on top again as tax?! This is a scam!”

I tried to explain the math to her, but she refused to believe me. My manager had to be called, and was spending such a long time trying to explain to her that we hadn’t stolen her quarter that he fished one out of his own pocket and just gave it to her.

I’m the author of this story. A few years have passed, and there’s a new safety officer in the company. He has refreshed all the safety procedures, and it’s time to do the yearly emergency drill. He’s the emergency coordinator, and I’m in charge of the office side of the building. At 10:00, as previously announced in the morning meeting, the drill starts. I get a phone call.

Safety Officer: “There’s a fire in the workshop. Get everyone out of the offices and meet me at the muster point.”

I call the main office.

Me: “There is a fire in the workshop. Alert everyone, leave the office, and gather outside the door.”

Employee #1: “Is this about the drill?”

Me: “No.”

I meet the other employees outside the office door.

Me: “Is everyone here? Where’s the boss?”

Employee #1: “Oh my God, I forgot to tell him!”

She takes her phone out and starts calling. Meanwhile, [Employee #2] gets up and runs back inside the building.

Me: “DON’T GO BACK! I’m not saying it twice!”

[Employee #2] does not comply. She returns shortly after, together with our CEO, who’s speaking on the phone to [Employee #1].

I lead the employees towards the muster point, where most of the workers are already gathered. The safety officer and three workers are struggling with fire extinguishers and a forklift. They finally push it out using a bigger forklift, and the drill ends. The safety officer reaches the muster point: he’s fuming.

Safety Officer: “How did it go on your side?”

I tell him.

Safety Officer: “Well, here I had TEN fire officers who, upon hearing the alarm, went STRAIGHT TO THE MUSTER POINT, while a BURNING FORKLIFT set fire to THE ENTIRE WORKPLACE! It’s vital to deal with these things while there’s still time! You lot did not even ASK what the emergency was!”

He quit about a month later, and I’m hearing complaints that he was rude. The company still hasn’t named a new coordinator. The CEO was a tad upset about having been forgotten by Employee #1. After all, not only is he her boss, but they’ve also been married for ten years.

Related:
And This Is Why We Do The Thing

A customer has requested assistance in the electronics section, specifically selecting an expensive item that’s behind glass. I have the key, so I’m walking toward the section, and even get close enough to make eye contact with the customer, when we get a ‘Code Adam’ over the employee radios.

For those who don’t know, a ‘Code Adam’ is when a child has been reported lost in the store, and every employee suddenly has to follow a strict protocol of searching their area and reporting back, no exceptions. 

I shout an apology to the customer, turn on my heel, and start my preset search of the area.

Luckily, less than a minute later, the call comes through that the child has been found. I return to the customer.

Customer: “What the h*** was that?”

Me: “Sorry. We got a report that there was a missing child in the store, so we had to stop what we were doing and search.”

The customer, who is with her own kid, just scoffs and says to me:

Customer: “It wasn’t my kid. You should have been helping me. I was there first.”

Me: “I’ll keep that in mind if your kid goes missing.”

It was worth the slap on the wrist for shocking and offending that hideous woman.