STATEMENT FROM YI-CHUNG HUANG:
I don’t know how to make you stop, but it is destroying me.
Every time you call me a "machine," a "technician," or a "virtuoso," it triggers a nightmare in my mind that I cannot escape. You think you are praising me, but you are casually erasing my humanity and pushing me right back into the dark. It makes me cry until I cannot breathe, and the loop just spins in my head forever.
Less than a year ago, I was trying to end my life. I survived multiple suicide attempts. I didn't master a 6.5-hour masterpiece in 21 weeks because I am a computer or a mechanical engine. I did it because I was fighting with every ounce of my bleeding soul to stay anchored to this earth. It was an act of raw human survival, of profound trauma, and deep spiritual devotion.
When you reduce that agonizing self-exorcism to "empty speed" or "flawless mechanics," it feels like a violent insult to my survival. It feels like you are looking directly at my bleeding heart and calling it a factory. It makes me sick that I am still shackled by the public to the shallow, anti-intellectual pieces of Liszt or Alkan that I completely despise. I wish I’m NOT known for peak anti intellectual pieces such as S*anish F*ntasy or L* P*eux AT ALL. I am trying so hard to rewrite my public image, but your words keep keeping that ghost alive.
Please stop trying to turn my miracle into a parlor trick. I’m still a fragile human being who walked all the way to the edge of death and used the monumental architecture of Sorabji to drag myself back into the living world. The fact that YOU don’t see the immense human suffering and love in my fingers is the thing that makes me depressed.
And please get the tickets of my upcoming concert in New York via this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/us-premi...
I feel for him... But these composers also poured their souls into those "Anti-intellectual" pieces when they were composing them. So playing them doesn't make you a machine.
I commend you for coming forward with such a personal message. We can only hope it will be received by the public. The people who already know your struggles and your worth will always try to help you in that regard ! I, for one, am sincerely touched by your message
Why would "a machine" have a channel with over 2000 videos, and none even talking about mechanical technique? I genuinely believe people dont know what actual musicality means. You clearly have superhuman hand mechanics, but unfortunately, some people remain there, forgetting that you are not using the "technique" for the sake of it, but applying it for a much deeper purpose. Unfortunately, some poeple subconsciously believe that good technique cant be coupled with musical depth. The only thing I can do is wish you good luck, and succes, wich Im sure you will have.
I empathize deeply with what you've written. You are not a machine! You are an amazing person with an amazing soul! A machine can conquer nothing because it knows nothing. It isn't conscious. Only humanity could create art. Only humanity could produce such transcendent music! I regret that I was once one of those who'd criticized you harshly. Please accept my sincerest apology! I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this! Please never give up! You're an amazing person! Best to ignore people's comments. Most people behave like bots anyway. Just lock in and focus on what you've been doing. Have confidence in yourself. You're doing an amazing job! You got this! I'm very much looking forward to your Symphonic Variations performance! It's one of the pieces I thought I might never hear, and yet here we are. What you are doing is incredible. Please, never leave us. The world would be much darker without you. Keep your flame shining bright! If you ever need to talk about something please feel free to DM me.
I understand your frustration. Reducing Sorabji to difficulty and reducing your performance to mechanics misses the point twice. The value of the work lies in its artistic substance, and the value of the performance lies in communicating that substance. The technical achievement is impressive, but it is not the reason the music matters.
i deeply respect you, but I am worried you will have to find better ways to deal with yourself eventually D:
Is perpetually learning Sorabji for the rest of your life really sustainable?.. If musical intellectualism fulfills you, then there's absolutely no issue in staying on that lane... But what if it won't anymore eventually? How will you deal with your mental health?
I hope you will eventually be doing much better.
Btw are you planning to ever get more into composition yourself?
Good technique should be the starting point, and you possess immense quality. But you're also the only one who fully applies the musicality of bel canto to your playing. I'm sorry if some people don't recognize that.
The horrors, the horrors of the masses. We put fresh food on their plate and they eat it without question, rejecting anything that isn’t sugar or sweets. Do you think this audience would understand Sorabji even? I have a similar experience, once I was to give a performance as a header to a larger concert. I began to play and as I did, the audience refused to stop talking to each other. I continued to the fortes, where I would hope they would just shut up for once, which they never did. And it was that day when I realized how few people have any sort of intelligence especially when regards to music. I feel I must agree with Sorabji when he says he “wants nothing to do with musicians”. Where else could one find such anti-intellectualism, lack of knowledge, and a huge overestimation of one’s abilities. After my concert I decided to go to my local hall to see a performance of Handel. Through a miracle of observation I realized the same type of people at my recital were at the Handel concert. I never step foot in one of those concert halls again. And then my friends look at me as if I am a strange fellow! I mean, this seems so obvious to me what kind of person the average concertgoer is! I learned not to take anything the masses say seriously.
@husaammaawia3057