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/soy/ - Soyjaks

m.umma j.an.ny please do'nt let hindupho.b.ia win. Bloody b.enchod son of bi.t.ch janny i fuck you bloody! You are the mother fu.k.er!
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 16410459[Quote] [Voice Chat]

after a long day of watching rick and morty and drinking sproke, you decide its time to mow the lawn (it's just like muh simulator games!)
it takes a few hours to find the lawnmower, since you always just get tyrone to mow the lawn for you, but you eventually do and insert the key into the ignition
<*pbrbrbrrr*
It's out of gas!
what do you do?

 16410463[Quote]>>16410537

go to the gas station nigga

 16410468[Quote]

jerk off to trans porn and cum in the gas tank

 16410470[Quote]

get tyrone to drive to the gas station only for him to crash into it since he can't drive a manual car

 16410471[Quote]

go to Walmart to get gas

 16410473[Quote]

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 16410537[Quote]>>16410542>>16410543>>16410545>>16410555>>16410569

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>>16410463
you step out of your garage, expecting to see the skyline of your walkable city, but you instead see…
>yikes… Now I remember why I wanted to mow my lawn in the first place!
you try to jump up to look over the tall grass, but your head barely reaches above it.
what do you do?

 16410542[Quote]>>16410633

>>16410537
crawl through it like in muh stealth vidya

 16410543[Quote]

>>16410537
The the grass like a critter

 16410545[Quote]

>>16410537
grab a handful of the grass and eat it

 16410555[Quote]

>>16410537
i see a snake come out the grass and i run away from it

 16410569[Quote]

>>16410537
go to chud's wholesome little looxmaxing clinic to get leg lengthening surgery

 16410633[Quote]>>16410638>>16410644>>16410666>>16410706

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>>16410542
you start to crawl through the grass, and feel just like snake from smash bros! but not before your pet fingerboy breaks through the bvll rooms window and starts clawing at your face

 16410638[Quote]

>>16410633

Go to the doctor and Get ear surgery

 16410644[Quote]

>>16410633
i yell out "SUPERSAGE" and a gigafly kidnaps him

 16410666[Quote]

>>16410633
grab it and slam it against the floor

 16410706[Quote]

>>16410633
do a healthy little jig to demonstrate superior evolutionary fittness to scare it away

 16410875[Quote]>>16410889>>16410899>>16410903>>16410969>>16410977

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you narrowly escape getting brutally un*lived by your pet, and start walking to the hospital to get ear surgery
after you enter the hospital, the receptionist tells you to sit down and wait to be called
you slump down into a chair, and wonder why you're getting ear surgery in the first place
what do you do?

 16410889[Quote]>>16411027

>>16410875
I walk confidently to the nazi chud and punch him in the face

 16410899[Quote]

>>16410875
have a sloppy make out sesh with the fuggin sexy valid traiso wompa

 16410903[Quote]

>>16410875
steal impjak's ears

 16410904[Quote]

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This adventure thread is pretty good already

 16410958[Quote]

vppppppyyy

 16410969[Quote]

>>16410875
dress up as a doctor and start doing surgery on a random nophono

 16410977[Quote]

>>16410875
drink some soylent to cope with the pain

 16411009[Quote]>>16411018

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 16411018[Quote]

>>16411009
Are you OP?

 16411027[Quote]>>16411031>>16411038>>16411074

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>>16410889
seeing a bigoted chud wearing a shirt with a literal fascist dogwhistle sends you into a rage
you walk up to him and hit him with the best punch you can
>HI-YAH!
<…
it seems like drinking all of that soylent really did affect you…
what do you do?

 16411031[Quote]>>16411152

>>16411027
steal the chud's shoes, piss in them, then return them

 16411038[Quote]

>>16411027
i pull out my government-mandated HRT and throw it at him

 16411043[Quote]

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>>>16411027
>i pull out my government-mandated HRT and throw it at him

 16411051[Quote]

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>>>16411027
>steal the chud's shoes, piss in them, then return them

 16411074[Quote]

>>16411027
Take a picture of him and put it on reddit, xitter and whatever other media I use and warn everyone he’s a freaking evil nazi

 16411137[Quote]

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 16411152[Quote]>>16411163>>16411203>>16411252

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>>16411031
you go prone and nab the chud's shoes right before you preform a move that tyrone showed you in the bedroom one night
he doesn't seem too happy about it for some reason
what do you do?

 16411163[Quote]>>16411270

>>16411152
run into the back of the hospital and take every drug you possibly can, cuz there like power ups from super Mario n shieet, then use them to beat up the chud and save the traiso wompa princess

 16411203[Quote]


 16411252[Quote]

>>16411152
start whining as I AM THE VICTIM IN DIS SITUATION

 16411270[Quote]>>16411278>>16411282>>16411292>>16411294

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>>16411163
you bolt down a hallway, looking for any meds that you could take to become just like mario, but before you can make it to any rooms… someone blocks your way
<where do you think you're going?
dr. soystein… he was your psychiatrist when you were taking BBC therapy at the asoylum… his methods were brutal, and you hoped that you would never see him again… but here he is…
what do you do?

 16411278[Quote]>>16411388

>>16411270
kill him

 16411282[Quote]

>>16411270
pull down my pants and reveal my axewound, and then shooting a blood laser (like muh hecking isaac roglike game) to kill him

 16411292[Quote]

>>16411270
Cover myself in shit so I am slippery and can escape from him

 16411294[Quote]>>16411392>>16411397>>16411462

>>16411270
Drop my pants and close my eyes and focus, focus all my energy into my cock to force it to become a bbc, think of Tyrone’s and try to replicate it, then joust dr soystein with it

 16411388[Quote]>>16411392>>16411397

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>>16411278
you freeze. you remember that you forgot to take your anti-depressants today, and because of that, an intrusive thought comes into your head telling you to K*LL dr. soystein. Your mind becomes foggy, the only thing you can think about is this literal hecking thoughtcrime (that, and tyrone's BBC)
you realize that this is the only way out, and leap towards soystein, ready to punch him
>ACK!
he grabs you by your throat, and you feel his hand slowly tightening around it. you wonder if this is how george floyd felt when he was un*lived by the police…
what do you do?

 16411392[Quote]

>>16411388
What this >>16411294 nigga said

 16411397[Quote]

>>16411388
do >>16411294 dis but penetrate his jugular and kill him

 16411441[Quote]

i would blast shit all over tyrone to make fertilizer and oreos

 16411462[Quote]>>16411464>>16411472>>16411478

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>>16411391
>>16411294
FOCUS.
soystein choking you reminded you of all of that BBC therapy you took
your /calm/ side comes out like a sleeper agent and you try to focus all of your energy into something that could stop soystein, at least for a while.
something big… something black…
you look down and see that your tiny white pecker has somehow transformed into an exact replica of tyrones BBC, down to the "BVLL" tattoo on the shaft!
the euphoria you feel of not only having a BBC, but TYRONE'S BBC causes you to ejaculate into soystein's eyes, temporarily blinding him and causing him to drop you
what do you do?

 16411464[Quote]

>>16411462
kick him in the clitty

 16411472[Quote]

>>16411462
rape him in the clitty

 16411478[Quote]

>>16411462
Use my newfound ability of Big Black Conjuring to summon Tyrone to help me.



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