Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Is friend ‘bean-counting’ them for skipping her pricey fundraiser?

Letter writer names the cost of the ticket, new outfit and babysitter, but unmarried friend has other accounting in mind.

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(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
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Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared April 15, 2012.

Dear Carolyn: I have a group of friends from college, and we are quite close. One of them pursued a career, while the rest of us balanced career and family ambitions. She was recently named to the board of directors for a major nonprofit that she has supported for a long time. She was thrilled, and I was thrilled for her.

What readers are saying

The comments on the article revolve around a debate about friendship, reciprocity, and societal expectations regarding life milestones. Many commenters criticize LW1 for not attending a friend's fundraiser, despite the friend's past support for LW1's life events like weddings and... Show more
This summary is AI-generated. AI can make mistakes and this summary is not a replacement for reading the comments.
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Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.