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sleepyheadirl
callsign_sleepyhead
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Because it does not fit a specific narrative. People rather ignore the truth that we are all being oppressed by the global elite. Especially the global elite that outright own media outlets and would risk to be overthrown if the published how shit everyone but they have it.
Instead we have different narratives spread to different groups of people to divide us. So we can't unite and fight back like one cohesive force like in the old revolution times.
You get to choose hospital and doctor, you don't even have to do it in Sweden and can choose most of the doctors in the world but that is harder. The easiest and fastest way to get SRS is by just accepting which ever doctor you get and not request one specific and also choosing the hospital with shortest waiting list for the surgery.
The waitinglist is years long and most people just accept whomever they get because waiting sucks.
Doing it abroad is very complicated process because you have to talk to the states insurance company and also most of the time first pay out of pocket and get reimbursed. That process is more similar how it is in USA or other countries. Most people don't know how to do it and don't seem to know you even can do it all because normally its the worse option.
I read the post you wrote about living as a trans person with seeing all the hate on the internet, being 0.1% of the population but being on the news constantly etc. It was well written, you did a good job and I think you probably at least helped a few more people see us in a better light and understand our struggle better.
Also damn you really did a lot of sacrifices for your FFS.
I hope you can start studying again even though you have loans to pay off. What did you study if you don't mind me asking?
Did you read the article? She saw a doctor for 10 years before actually doing the surgery. And she was an adult.
How is 10 year "right away"?
People were right, this sub really is infested with terfs, this post was an eyeopener for me. I know not everyone here are terfs and some people here are amazing, but holy shit how can lies and propaganda be allowed to be posted like this?
Places like this should be for supporting people that detrans, not for terfs to push their political agenda.
Her story sucks, and it really hurts to regret a surgery. But making the time people have to wait even longer wont help anyone, if 10 years is too fast, how long should people that need those surgeries have to wait? 15? 30? 100?
Kinda funny how people seem to only be able to accept either homosexuals or transsexuals. Just look at Iran and then look at Sweden. Here it is probably one of the best places to be a gay man but I've heard from several transgender immigrants that moved here because they though it was better here had a sobering reality that it was worse.
But our young generation is very open to trans people in Sweden from what I've seen. I wish my generation was as based as them, its a lot easier to find people younger than me willing to date me than older.
I have ptsd from almost dying after the surgery and couldn't sleep due to the allergic reaction and had a intense psychotic breakdown that i stupidly posted online and became a meme which resulted in intense bullying by over 100.000 people which just broke me as a person. There were tweets made about me that was retweeted over 100.000 times. My reddit profile traffic was in the millions and I was on front page of google back then when you searched for srs which is why i deleted my old stuff so it wont show up on google like it did.
Sorry i am a bit high atm so its hard to write. But this really broke me.
About 8 months into the healing after the surgery one nerved healed very poorly so I could no longer dilate and still can't due to intense pain. Worse pain than having the surgery and they can't cut the nerve or burn it, i asked them.
There was transgender pro LoL player that killed herself due to having SRS and also having issue with nerve pain. I used to take painmeds daily. And it barely helped. I was lucky and the nervepain stopped except for when I try to dilate.
According to the surgeon I still have 8 cm of depth even thought I haven't dilated on 2 years.Thansk to me dilating religiously early on I will probably never lose that depth and it will probably be possible for me to regain a few cm more with dialation and even more with a 4th surgery. They fixed my urethra and removed some of the nerves causing pain.
Also I had PI not colon method. No idea why people claim I did the colon method.
For your sake I hope you are lucky, but its very arrogant to think this wont happen to you. It might not but it can. I knew about these things before the surgery but I just didn't think it would be this bad.
Due to me being a mentally ill neet people aren't interested in my besides having sex with me. And I don't want to have sex unless it is with someone that I have feelings for.
And dating as a post op woman is hard, really hard. Straight men don't want you because you are not a cis woman and chasers don't want you because you cut your wings. You are the worst of both worlds but with the worst genitals possible.
I've given up on dating, talking to guys and sex.
I know the name of the surgeon, I just don't want to tell people the name because it will taint his otherwise very good reputation. Because its not his fault I was allergic to the blood thinner.
Maybe you have seen my result maybe not but its one of the top results on transgendersurgeries sub so a lot of people have seen it. I know its not the best result but its not that bad aesthetically.
here is a pic of it if you are too lazy to look it up.
Do you even know why I regret having the surgery?
clitoral necrosis is worse than what I had lol.
Come back when you have had SRS and lived as a post op for a few years and we can talk.
Since you have no actual experience of what it is like you have this romanticized version of what it is like. You can't see truth and will simply ignore it even when it stands right in front of your face.
I don't really go outside anymore. But one time 1.5 years ago a stranger came up to me to tell me he clocked me when I was waiting for my friend. It was one of the most awkward and horrible interactions I've had with someone.
About 1 year ago I was at a party, the first one in many years and haven't gone to party again since. And a guy there clocked me.
Everyone else I've met since then knows I'm trans. But I've only gone outside to meet people about 5 times in the last year. Normally when I go outside its alone in the woods. I spent a lot of time walking in the forests nearby last year. So its not like the only thing I do is sit inside when I say I don't go out to do things with others or meet people.
These are the two latest interactions I've had but there have been many more through out the years. The more I meet people the more often it happen, I very rarely get misgendered, its only the hospital staff and mental health professionals that misgenders me.
I have no idea how many strangers that clock me. But of the new people I meet about 10% figure out I'm trans by looking at me. Sometimes they ask it other times when I "come out" to them they say "yea I was thinking that but didn't want to say anything". There might be more than 10% that see it but are just polite and don't say anything.
But it hurts once people know you are trans. They treat you different. When people think you are a cis woman they are so much nicer. They used to be a lot nicer when I was a cis man. I miss people being nice.
Many people have told me I have one of the best passing voices they heard. But that might not be as true as it used to be now with more younger trans people. It's probably the best passing part about me.
I wish I could be someone's wife. But I can't. No one is ever going to want to wife me. So I'm just living life as a volcel.
Ever since I've had bottom surgery guys lost interest in me.
Right now I'm doing my best to move forward in life and get a degree in horticulture in Swedish it's called a hortonom but there is no English word for it. But it's a master examen in plant biology and growing plants. Similar to agronom but those focus on agriculture.
I'm having issues with getting csn due to not being able to pay them back when I was homeless and I don't have the money to pay what I owe them.
And I just want to forget about all this trans thing and get my life together. Stop wasting energy trying to be a girl stop wasting energy trying to look like one and not having to worry about being hate crimed when I go out which has happened. I just want to live a normal life.
No. We were complete strangers and the only friend in common hadn't told them.
And they asked if I was trans because I look trans. After this I stopped taking care my appearance. Didn't see a point because if I don't pass dressed as a woman in makeup and everything. It doesn't matter. I'm ugly and will still be ugly even if I try to not be.
The forehead has a very different grain pattern compared to rest of the face likely due to someone using liquid tool to make the hairline look more like the original toastposting meme.
But if the hand is very obviously photoshoped in then it's not a stretch to assume other parts of the picture has been altered.
Lol that bunny isn't mine, its my roomies cats bunny and I can tell you that cat doesn't treat the bunny very nicely when its playtime. Not sure if that makes it worse or better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5GCn1BKkxg&ab_channel=DeathGrips
The reason why its hard is because a lot of songs are like this. And people just ask me to turn them off after a few seconds. Same with machine girl. ic3peak strangely enough people aren't as annoyed by.
And I've never heard someone compare them to ghostmane before. I think ghostmane is also good but he is more hit and miss. I love his girlfriends music (poppy) especially her later albums. Scary mask is by far her best song and never find my place second best. I think me and her have probably suffered similar trauma, being stuck almost held hostage by someone.
I'm a bit sad that I'll never get to express to these people how much their music means to me. Their music makes me feel less lonely in the world know there are other people out there suffering in similarish ways to me and managing to channel all of that into something beautiful.
Death grips is a band. Deathgrip posting was a meme on here that pops up every now and then.
Its my favorite band. Honestly I have no idea how to introduce someone to them because every time I try it doesn't go that well. But here is a link to one of my favorite songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnSfYfwDOjk&ab_channel=DeathGrips
I was never as mentally unstable or broken as I've been post transition.
As a man I did have depressive episodes as well and especially when I was younger I didn't have very good ways to cope with how I felt. But as an adult male especially the period right before I transitioned I had learned how to live a pretty normal life.
But transitioning just broke. I thought if I kept going it would eventually get better but it never did. And i've come to the conclusion that for me to be happy I can't live as a trans woman.
It is true I've had periods of being fine, but I was never productive the way I used to be during those periods. And I was never happy for very long which I used to be.
I suffered through a few traumatic events during my transition, one of them being my best friend died. Maybe it was just these events that broke me as a person? And maybe it wasn't because of the transition. But I still want to try and see if I'm able to find a stable life again as something else.
Yes it is. There are two paths, I keep living as a clocky trans woman and kill myself. Or I just detrans and accept that I lost and just live a life as my biological sex which is what I should have done in the first place. Me thinking that I could ever be a woman was retarded, honestly I don't understand how I could be so stupid to actually think transitioning was a good idea. I wish I could undo everything and never transitioned but thats impossible. The second best thing I can do is just detrans.
I had SRS about 3 years ago, BA 2 years ago, started HRT about 7 years ago or something, honestly don't know when. Can't afford FFS and they don't do that and my face in passable and will forever be. So there is no point in actually living as a woman because I will always look as a man and people will see me as a man.
Its just weird to have female on documents and claim to be a woman when you look like a man,
I've realized that I will never be a woman and decided to detrans and just live life like a man instead. I regret ever transitioning and don't know how to detrans. Anyone know how its done and how to do it?
