Magneto was right
🧑🏻‍🏫🌈📝📖🦹🏻🧶🪬🧿✡️🕎♿🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
31, Jewish, genderqueer, bisexual, and engaged to the hottest lady imaginable (junebug93). Our tentative marriage date is summer, 2027.
Currently getting my master's degree. I post about comics, social justice, bugs, animals, whatever strikes my fancy. On a personal quest to follow every jumblr blog.
Header by @chanasjewishscrapbook. Profile picture from X-Men '97.
  1. May 19, 2691,209 notes

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

    shencomix:

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    Panel 1: Shen is sitting on a bench in a gym locker room, wearing a sweaty yellow tank-top (and sweating, himself), holding a water bottle, and talking to a guy with a towel slung over his shoulder. He has a disgruntled expression. He says "Bro I never should've hired the dark wizard as my fitness coach."ALTPanel 2: A dark wizard is spotting Shen on the bench press. Shen is huffing lifting the weight. The dark wizard, who wears a red hood with grey horns and a purple cloak, and has a long pointy nose and fingers, small severe eyes, and a big dark brown beard and eyebrows, is saying "The path to TRUE power is not these plebeian exercises, but to know the 7 ARCANE UTTERANCES."ALTPanel 3: Top-down view of Shen, sweating, frustrated, on the bench. "THEN JUST TELL ME THE UTTERANCES!!" he says.ALTPanel 4: View from Shen's perspective of the wizard's long nose and face looking down at him sternly. "EARN THEM!!!!" he yells.ALT
    Panel 1: Shen and the Dark Wizard are standing near the gym's big wall mirror. There is a dumbbell laying on the ground between them, closer to the mirror. Shen is leaning forward, one hand on his hips and the other pointing at the wizard, and saying "Y'know, I'm not convinced you're even strong enough to BE a fitness coach."ALTPanel 2: Shen's hand points at the dumbbell on the ground near the mirror. He says "Lift that dumbbell."ALTPanel 3: The Dark Wizard saying "I already AM lifting it." Shen raises his arms in exasperated confusion, saying "What??"ALTPanel 4: Outside view of the gym. It, along with the chunk of earth it was standing on, is hovering in the air slightly, having dislodged itself from the ground below.ALT
    Panel 1: In the foreground, Shen is sweating and breathing heavily, resting his hands on his knees, having just run a mile on an outdoor track. Far away in the background, on the other side of the track, the Dark Wizard is holding a stopwatch and saying "AN 8 MINUTE MILE?? AND YOU HOPE TO SURVIVE HEARING EVEN THE WEAKEST ARCANE UTTERANCE??"ALTPanel 2: Shen stands up straight and swings around to look at the wizard. He raises his hands in an aggressive questioning pose and tells "HOW FAST IS >YOUR< MILE??"ALTPanel 3: The wizard has suddenly manifested right behind Shen and puts his long, bony hand on Shen's shoulder. Red sparks fly around them, as if the remnants of a teleportation spell. "instantaneous," he hisses.ALT
    Panel 1: The gym from the previous Dark Wizard comics is floating in some sort of colorful space-like void, with chromatic stars and billows of space glitter casting rainbow reflections onto its surface. From inside the gym, the dark wizard says "BEWARE!! FOR WE ARE NOW TRAVELING BETWIXT DIMENSIONS." Panel 2: Closeup of the dark wizard's haggard face, dramatically bottom-lit with red. He says "All manner of monsters lurk here."ALTPanel 3: A black girl with messy buns and teal-ish green glasses enters. She's carrying a grey gym bag and wearing a sports a dark brown sports bra and tights, and a shiny pink poofy crop jacket, along with shiny pink velcro sneakers. The bell hanging above the gym's door produces a "DING" as she enters, enthusiastically stepping in.ALTPanel 4: Shen looks at her, holding his green water bottle to his face, with the dark wizard lurking in the background. Shen says "SHE seems pretty normal."ALTPanel 5: Shen spits out his drink as he sees her maxing out the leg press machine, her legs bulging with muscle and the footrest cracking under the pressure as the whole machine bends and threatens to fall apart.ALT
    The panel scheme of the comic is all compressed down to the bottom of the image(s), as if the panels themselves are affected by gravity. Panel 1: Shen is compressed against the ground, laying down like a frog, sweating with wide bulging eyes and going "urkk"ALTPanel 2: The Dark Wizard is also compressed against the ground, his arms folded formally behind his back, and his pointing nose piercing the ground, holding his head up and forming cracks. He says "AH! It would appear we are passing through the 100x gravity dimension."ALTPanel 3: The 'monster' girl from the previous comic grabs up her gym back and says, holding her hands up enthusiastically, "OH!! This is my stop!"ALTPanel 4: The girl is lightly skipping out of the gym towards the exit as Shen and the Dark Wizard are still compressed against the ground in the background.ALTShen is holding up his finger somewhat pointing at you and smiling, with the other hand in the front pocket of his hoodie. He says "Hey! Now that BLUECHAIR is concluded, SHEN COMIX is my sole focus, and I'm gonna work hard at it. If you wanna, the best place to support me is Patreon.com/ShenComix, where for $1 per month, you get a bonus panel with every comic, including this one. I hope to eventually earn your support!"ALT
    Panel 1: Shen is on a stairmaster machine at the gym. The dark wizard stands beside him as he walks on it. Shen is sweating and breathing heavily, pivoted slightly to look at the dark wizard, saying "WIZARD! How is this STAIRS MACHINE going to bring me closer to the utterances??"ALTPanel 2: The wizard looks up at him with a severe expression and replies "To those possessing patience and will ... ALL truths reveal themselves."ALTPanel 3: A wizard tower build on a small stone outcropping in the ocean. Waves crash against it and lightning strikes in the background as a storm rages. A small boat is docked against a staircase carved into the outcropping.ALTPanel 4: Shen is ascending the spiral staircase of the tower with a zweihander sword. The staircase, lined with torches, stretches down seemingly endlessly. Shen sweats and breaths heavily, mumbling "fuckin' tall-ass wizard towers"ALT
    Panel 1: Shen is bursting into the top chamber of the Dark Wizard's tower with his zweihander, tired and sweating, yelling "WIZARD!!! YOU'VE JERKED ME AROUND ENOUGH." The "A" in "WIZARD" is written in the sharp way that the Dark Wizard usually writes it, and has the Dark Wizard's light purple text background color.ALTPanel 2: The reflection of the Wizard's form gleams in Shen's sword and a vein bulges on Shen's forehead as he says "TELL ME THE UTTERANCES. OR THESE ARE THE LAST MOMENTS OF YOUR WRETCHED LIFE"ALTPanel 3: The Wizard stands at his window, a thunderstorm raging outside. A lightning strike illuminates the room, casting his long shadow down at, with a "KRAKOOOoom". He is surrounded but tomes, scrolls, and potions, as well as a skull on a table with a candle on it.ALTPanel 4: The Dark Wizard's eyes and concealed by the shadow of his hood as he replies. "The utterances ... are a burden."ALTPanel 5: We now see the Dark Wizard's face, not carrying its characteristic 'evil' expression, but instead somber, contemplative, a little sad. He says "I spent my years seeking a spell that would allow me to FORGET them. REVERSE the cogs of time. But alas, some things are beyond the reach of even magic."ALTPanel 6: The Wizard pivots back towards Shen as another bolt of lighting strikes in the window behind him with a "KRAKOOOoom". He says "I will not teach you the utterances. This is the end of our coaching sessions."ALTPanel 7: Shen, enraged, spitting, raising the sword above his head, looking more evil that the Dark Wizard at this point, yells "THEN DIE"ALTPanel 8: Shen lunches forward and swings the sword down towards the wizard's head with all his might, passing a couple of wall-mounted scrolls now visible in the background. The arc of the swing forms purple clouds that seem to swirl around the whole scene, distorting it.ALT
    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    Panel 1: Shen is standing on a beach at dusk with a somber expression, wearing teal swim trunks, holding his phone in his right hand, and staring out into the ocean. He is absolutely yolked.ALTPanel 2: Two random passers-by, a man and a woman, are walking in the shallow water, the sunset illuminating them from behind. The man, who is wearing purple swim trunks, says "Woah dude, how did you work out to get a body like that?"ALTPanel 3: Shen, his expression vaguely said and exhausted, replies "I hired a dark wizard as my fitness coach, was blinded by his promise of 7 arcane utterances, which he spoke of often as the ultimate source of power but in the end refused to burden me with, and so I tried to kill the wizard, but then it turned out that he was dead all along and projecting his soul into my mind and I was just at the gym talking to nobody that whole time."ALTPanel 4: The guy passer-by does a peace sign with his left hand and says "Ha ha! Alright, keep your secrets then! ~". The girl, who is wearing a pink one-piece bathing suit and holding a green-and-blue beach ball, giggles.ALTPanel 5: Shen lets out a deep sigh. The light of the sunset begins to blend the pinks, yellow, and oranges of the sky and beach behind him.ALTPanel 6: Shen holds his phone up and looks at it pensively.ALTPanel 7: On the phone, the app that he was using for hiring a fitness coach has prompted him to "please rate your coach", showing the profile pic of the Dark Wizard, revealed to be named Darchilius W, looking as severe as ever. Below that is a line of stars, prompting Shen to rate 0-5 stars, a comment box, a submit button, and the profile pics of other, more normal looking coaches, including 'Steph A.', 'Jay M.', and 'Lorenzo G.'ALTPanel 8: Shen presses down with his thumb, rating the wizard 5 stars. Fin.ALT

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