1. 00 - Before The Sky Clear 2. 01 - Before the Warmth of Sunlight3. 02 - Before the Flowers Bloom4. 03 - Before the Sweet Dream5. 04 - Before the Stars Fill the Sky6. 05 - Before Life Knows Its Worth7. 06 - Before Losing Faith in the Heart8. 07 - Before Someone Like Me Burns Out9. 08 - No One Has Ever Been in My Heart10. 09 - Until Your Love Came Along11. 10 - Made My Eyes See the Brightness12. 11 - No One Ever by My Side
13. Note14. 12 - Until Your Love Shows Mercy15. 13 - Giving Me the Strength to Keep Going
16. 14 - On a World That's Brutal... Beyond Belief 17. 15 - Both soul and heart, I give them to you to possess
18. 16 - For a whole lifetime, I promise I'll stay. I'll fight for you.
19. 17 - Because It's Only YouWho Makes Me Moved By A Love So
Immense20. 18 - And The Heart That Once TrembledTurns Bright Again, As Long
As You know21. 19 - My Eyes See Brightness Because of You
22. File 001
00 -BeforeTheSkyClear
:
I intentionally didn’t write the original title of this novel so that it wouldn’t be easily found. So I hope those of you who find this work won’t share the link or my account publicly. Let my account stay safe here.This story hasn’t been adapted into a series yet. I’m curious about the plot, that's why I decide to read it. If you’ve read DuangQin’s story, you’ll know who the main character of this novel is. It’s Jettana, Duang’s close friend.We'll also know a glimpse of Duang and Qin life after their trip in Chiang Mai, offcourse there will be our cute Fluffy ( DuangQin's corgi)
======"Jettana, leave it beeeee.""Warriors, this way! Take your drink!"Yes.My name is Jettana."Your friend didn’t come?""Duang went to Chiang Mai with his boyfriend.""Damn, those love warriors."I’m not like that. I don't believe in love.I have faith in something that always seems to punch me in the face and callme an idiot.I’m Jettana, and I’m not much of a lover.
Or maybe… I’ve never really loved anyone the way Dad loved Mom, theway Duang loves Qin, or the way you love someone—whether it’s one-sided, a friendship, or someone else’s partner.I never have."So, what’s the plan tonight? Got a deal with anyone?""Tonight, I play the fisherman. If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.But if you teach him to fish, he eats for a lifetime.""That’s my boy.""Cheers!"I lifted my glass and grinned. Sometimes, the taste of beer or whiskey isn’tas satisfying as the atmosphere itself. I might look like a reckless person, but if you ask me, I don’t really throw myself into that label. I’m addictedto the vibe—the conversations with new people, the loud noises, the livemusic, the crowds.And casual sex, like ordering food. You crave something, you get it. If youhave enough appeal, you can take the campus star home with you.Come on, what year is it? One-night stands aren’t strange anymore. As longas you protect yourself and don’t lose control, it’s just life.Maybe it’s because I was raised in a Western way. My father passed awaywhen I was two. I met my mother in Las Vegas. I was born there but grewup in Thailand. She moved back after marrying my stepfather, a full- blooded American, when I was fifteen. English was my first language.But not many people know that, and it doesn’t matter much in my life. Eventhough I have an American passport, my face is undeniably Thai—becausemy real dad was Thai, obviously."Table Nine has arrived.""Which one’s the bad-luck one?"
"The short guy in the blue shirt, shoulder-length hair. Is he your type?""Tonight, no pastels. Jettana wants something sharp."If this were a coming-of-age movie, today would be the moment thatchanges the character’s life forever. Before the storm intensifies, the skycalms. Before the rain falls, we get careless and forget our umbrellas.Before we suffer, we grin wide and ask ourselves over and over, How couldlife get any better than this?And then he walks in, carrying the sweet scent of Africa Ice Jack cigarettes.His legs, wrapped in skinny jeans, look surreal—like something out of adream. But it’s not just his outfit, his limited-edition Dr. Martens, or hisCruella de Vil-inspired hair from 101 Dalmatians that make him stand out.It’s him.He’s different.Unrepeatable."Mom, look at that beauty.""Shit… it’s really him."I’m not surprised that everyone calls him beautiful—even though he’s aman. If people were works of art, he’d be the masterpiece.As someone with an eye for design, I couldn’t help but notice the way hetilted that cheap drink, transforming it into a hundred-thousand-baht bottleof champagne. The way he crossed his legs and smiled at his friend’sconversation.I think he knows how to command attention. No—he knows it well."Jet! He’s smiling at you."
"Don’t just sit there, idiot!"I’ve been on the receiving end of inviting smiles hundreds of times. But notlike this. —Not like this.I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure, but my blood was boiling just from the way his shimmering gaze declared to the entire bar that he wassecond to no one.He was the one.The reigning champion.The type of person who wins their first game, plays music effortlessly, paints beautifully, and aces organic chemistry after a single glance at thetextbook."Are you going or what?""My guy, what are you waiting for?"But is this really a good idea?Everyone knows you don’t play with fire."He doesn’t do repeats, so don’t worry about any unfinished businessafterward.""Jet, if you land him, you can die happy.""That serious, Prem?""Yeah, dumbass. Think about it—out of 365 days a year, how many timesdo you meet someone this stunning?"But I’m not water. I’m not fire.
"Fuck it."The adrenaline surged."Now that’s what I’m talking about!""My boy’s a warrior, not a lover."I shrugged, muttering fuck it in my head once more as I grabbed my drink and strolled over, flashing him the same playful grin I always did whenapproaching someone.Except this time, it wasn’t the same. Nothing could compare to him. Nothing even came close."Hi.""Hi."His friends immediately reacted, teasing as he spoke first. I slid onto the barstool beside him.It had to be Byredo Gypsy Water—the fragrance he was wearing. That scentstarted working its magic on me, luring me into a trance as I studied hisface up close.They say that some works of art need to be viewed from a distance to betruly appreciated.But that rule didn’t apply to him.His features were flawless. His eyes showed no fear, no hesitation.He was pure confidence."What’s your name?"
I thought his Thai was… adorable. No need to say it—I could tell right away. Thai wasn’t his first language.Maybe he’d never even lived in this awful country. Maybe he was fromsomewhere much farther away—so far that no one would ever expect it."My name is Mar. Well… it should be Mars."Far, just like his name."But I don’t like the pronunciation—don’t you agree?"He tilted his head as he asked, while my brain tried to process the strange balance of childlike innocence and mature confidence in him.For the first time, I couldn’t read someone the way I usually did.His body language was that of an adult, but his choice of words felt almost playful, almost youthful.He asked again.Beautiful, Mar.Whatever."Do you want my nickname, my real name, or my stage name?""Wow, that’s a lot," he laughed, his eyes crinkling."Humor is sexy."I shrugged, pretending not to be fazed by him—or the sheer, see-throughshirt under his designer leather jacket."Just your nickname, then.""Too bad. I’ve never told anyone before."
"Really? Never told anyone?""So… what do your friends call you?"My heart pounded as I held his gaze under the dim bar lights.The bartender slid two Gin Slings between us. I struggled to stay composed, but I managed—barely.I couldn’t deny it.I’d never been this drawn to anyone before. Not once."Jet."I licked my lips."Interesting," he murmured—just as his gaze flickered down to my mouth."Can I guess your nickname?""Sure."I leaned back, amused.There was no way he’d guess it right. Not the first time. Not the hundredth. No one ever had."Your face makes you seem like a… Jamie."Shit.I cursed internally, but I knew my expression had given me away."Oh," he smirked, "you are Jamie :)"
I inhaled sharply. The alcohol I’d just swallowed burned its way down,heating my whole body.Maybe it was the way he said Oh—so effortlessly seductive. Or maybe itwas how he propped his chin on his hand, looking at me like I was somesort of intriguing puzzle.At that moment, I knew.He was that kind of person.The kind who wins on their first try.The kind who never loses—never surrenders to anything."Jamie…"My name is Jettana.My nickname is Jamie.A fusion of my real father’s and my mother’s names—James and Amy.There were only a handful of people in this world who called me by thatname.Even back in kindergarten, elementary school, high school—everyonecalled me Jettana and just assumed my nickname was Jet.And it had never been a big deal. Not until he knew it."What do you want from me?"He had figured it out with just a few seconds of eye contact."They all call you beautiful.""I'm seventeen."
I laughed like a man with nothing to lose.If I didn’t call him beautiful, what else could I possibly call him?He was that stunning. It wasn’t even up for debate. The word beautifulcould apply to anything—but no one deserved it more than he did."You are."He smiled faintly, murmuring a soft thank you before taking a sip of hisdrink.The cool outdoor breeze played with the strands of his strangely coloredhair, making everything about him feel slower, almost surreal.Every movement he made seemed to captivate the entire bar. Not just anyone called him beautiful.But everyone wanted to make him theirs.Tonight.But tonight— "Is that all you want from me?""Just to call me beautiful?""Well, what do you think? I’m not exactly the type to play coy.""Say it.""I want you tonight."It was the most straightforward request I had ever made.He tapped his glass against the bar, flashing me a boyish smile beforeturning to his friends.
"I’m heading out."He pulled several bills from his long wallet, placed them neatly on thecounter, and rose from his seat.Then, with a voice that made my skin prickle, he looked at me and said— "Well, you have me tonight. :)" — His body was warm.His skin was pale, impossibly smooth—reflecting light like a perfectlysculpted ceramic piece, fired and glazed to perfection.And his voice… I had never heard anything like it before.If it had a color, I wouldn’t have been able to name it. I wouldn’t haveknown which shades had blended together to create it.There would never be another person like him.The silence whispered that truth to me over and over again."Jamie… ah—"That was when I heard Låpsley’s music playing in my head— Right when I sank deeper into him.A hypnotic electronic beat, looping through my mind, even though no onehad actually turned it on.I thought of that guy—the one who talked big but never lied. The one whowas probably curled up with his boyfriend somewhere in Chiang Mai rightnow—
Leaving people like me to go insane over sex so good it almost made mewant to cry.We fit together like perfect puzzle pieces— Like tectonic plates shifting apart, only to snap back into place.Or something even deeper—something instinctive, something primal— driving me to the brink of madness. No matter how hard I thrust into him, he only pulled me in tighter— Meeting my desperation with equal force."I-Is that all you've got?"He had a sharp tongue.In bed… he had a damn sharp tongue.I bit down hard on the soft skin of his neck, betting it would leave a mark.But both he and I knew—it wasn’t meant as a claim of ownership.It was a reminder.A reminder of just how reckless he was.Right now. Right here. On this bed. Beneath me.I eased him down gently, even though just looking into those stunning eyesof his had already left my chest aching.How the hell could someone be beautiful all over like this?“There’s more to me than you think.”I sucked in a breath, running a hand through my sweat-damp hair, while helicked his full lips, his star-like eyes fixed on me like I was his favoritemeal.
He told me that after the door to the only available room in the closest five-star hotel clicked shut behind us—right before we kissed, the automaticlock sealing our fate.At that moment, I knew.Just in that moment.“Then fuck me harder, Jamie.”That he was the most intoxicating obsession of my life.His kiss was more dizzying than drinking straight vodka.Touching him felt like reaching for that distant planet— The fourth one from the Sun.A planet of rust-red sand and violent storms, where the magnetic field hadlong since vanished into oblivion."Mars, remember when I said you were like the rain?"That planet we all dreamed of escaping to— But would never reach."Not the sweet sound after the drought." Never."But the pain of it, hard on my back in a storm."
01 -BeforetheWarmth ofSunlight
"Jett!""...""What's with you, man? You've been zoning out all day. You look likesomeone who got laid and then ghosted.""Pae!! You-" I sat up straight, eyes bulging. Pae, are you psychic or something? Honestly, I've been through my fair share of bedroom battles, but this time... This time, even a warrior like me walked away with wounds.Wounds!"If something's up, just say it. Stop spacing out.""It's hard to explain.""Fine, whatever, dude.""Why so mean? My heart is fragile."Then, he smacked me hard on the head-probably to bring me back to reality.I sighed and took a long sip of my iced milk, only to choke on itssweetness. Pae rolled his eyes. I bet he's going to gossip about me to Duanglater. Duang, who is probably snuggled up somewhere in Chiang Mai withKhun Qin right now.People in relationships... I don't wanna deal with them."Seriously, what's up?""Don't push me.""Alright, I'm out."
"Pae... Have you ever truly loved someone?" I emphasized the "truly" tomake sure he knew I was dead serious. Pea, with his scruffy beard, sighed.He's probably got a date with his wife. That's why he's rushing through thismeal.What the hell.Everyone's got a partner these days."I'm asking about the last time you really meant it.""Prachein, listen-""If you stall one more time, I swear I'll pour this soup over your head, youdamn-""You're so dramatic.""Just get to the point!""Fine. I hooked up with someone. The usual.""AIDS exists, you know.""I always use protection, thank you very much."Pae shook his head, chewing on an ice cube like a stressed-out person. He'sscolded me about my lifestyle plenty of times. But come on, it's not like Isleep around that much! Just... not with the same person, that's all. I'm just acarefree guy, right?"So, here's the thing. I woke up to a cold sheet. You get what I mean?""Nope. Explain.""I woke up, and he was gone.""And? What were you expecting? Breakfast together? A temple visit? That'shilarious. It was a one-night stand. You wake up first, you leave. Same
thing.""Heh...""Wait. Have you never had this happen before?""Not really. Usually, I wake up first. Or I leave right after. If he falls asleep,I sleep too. I don't let things drag on.""Well, now you know how it feels.""What, am I not good enough or something?""How the hell should I know? Maybe he had something to do. Did he leaveanything behind?""Yeah. Just the torn wrapper of a used condom. What a lovely keepsake.""Gross.""Three rounds that night. I was completely drained. I've never been thatsatisfied before, Pae. Imagine this-you have the best omakase ever, and thenext day, someone offers you cheap sushi from a convenience store. It justdoesn't taste the same."I put on my best heartbroken face. I meant it. Even the kisses he gave methat night-I still can't forget them.Who the hell is he?How can someone be that perfect?"Sounds like you're hooked.""I just want one more night.""Just one?" Pae muttered."As many times as he'd allow."
"Who is he? A student from our university? Where'd you pick him up?""The usual place, but no, he's not from our university.""Oh yeah?""Pae, he felt like a dream.""You mean like Khun Qin?""Even more than Khun Qin. Just sitting there, his presence alone... I wasshaking, couldn't stop fidgeting, walked like I had a limp.""You idiot." Pae burst out laughing, but I was serious. His face, his body,his style, the way he talked, the cologne he wore, his body language... Iswear, I felt bewitched."He didn't even seem like he was from this country. I could feel it.""Did you talk to him? Before, you know...""Are you crazy? Who could even think straight? The moment I drove himto the hotel, his hand was on my thigh, wouldn't stop moving. Next thing Iknew, he was at my belt buckle.""Sounds hot.""The hottest, Pae. He was top-tier. No need for divine intervention."I stirred the ice in my iced milk.Look, it's not like I was obsessed or anything. I just... really liked him. Imean, how often do you meet someone who's exactly your type? Almostnever. And damn it, he was something else.I think I just wanted to know more about him.For the first time ever, I wanted to actually get to know someone I'd sleptwith.
"So what now? Gonna wait for him at the same place?""Already tried. He didn't show. Turns out, one of our seniors kind of knowshim. I asked around. They said he only shows up once in a while. Last year,they saw him almost every month at that place, and then he disappeared.Came back this month, and after the night I spent with him, he hasn't gone back there since.""Maybe you sucked. Total amateur.""Three rounds. I'll say it again-three.""Oh my god, shut up.""I just want to know him.""Do you even know his name? How the hell am I supposed to help if youdon't?""Mars."Mars, like the planet.And just like that, he really did feel worlds away."Marvis."---
"Saymyname." "M-Mars." "No,it's Marvis this time:)"
"Mars."I muttered it in Korean, making Plapplueng pause at my unexpectedtrilingual moment. I rolled my eyes and tossed a crumpled sketch paper ather. She was one of the few friends I had here... Ah, here in Thailand.
"Where's your mind wandering off to? If you miss Korea that much, just go back already.""You're so loud, Plapplueng.""Don't mix Thai and English like that, Mars. Speak full Thai or you'll forgetit all.""What do you want?" I spun my pencil in sync with the beat of a Lapsleysong playing nearby.And in that moment-like a switch flipping-memories came flooding back,sending chills through me.His whispers, playful yet everywhere, echoed in my head, not even sparingthe bed."Mars, Remember When I Said You Were Like the Rain?""You think I'm like the rain?""What kind of question is that?""I don't know.""Maybe it's because being with you feels relaxing or something.""I don't think it's that.""Then why ask me?" I sighed, watching my ever-careless friend take off her T-shirt to change into a tank top-completely braless. (Don't freak out; shehad her back to me.) Even though going braless wasn't exactly accepted inThailand, she did it so often that I was sure she just didn't care anymore.I shifted my gaze from my friend to the skyline. From this high up, I couldstill see the clouds and the sun dipping below the horizon, the orange hueswashing over the buildings, blending together in a way that was more beautiful than usual. I let my thoughts drift without bothering to pull them back.
I gave myself the freedom to feel."Are we going?""Going where?""To eat, obviously! Marvis, you're driving me insane.""What?""You can't just work all day without eating! Come on, let's go to Paragon.""Again?" I grumbled, but I still got up to find something to wear. I pickedout something simple, but I still wasted time choosing accessories. I loveddressing up, shopping for clothes, and fashion in general-that's why I choseto study fashion design. Even though my studies were draining me, well...Pain from doing what you love isn't that bad."Do you even know how to spell 'defeat'?""Of course not.""Ugh, I forgot who I was talking to!""As long as you can say it, that's good enough." I frowned, slipped on my black leather slippers, and followed my shoulder-length-haired friend to theelevator. As I watched the digital numbers count down, Plapplueng appliedher red lipstick.It suited her."You look wicked.""I am.""See? How am I not supposed to speak English? Sometimes I just can'tthink of the right Thai word."
"Just use what's in your vocabulary, Marvis. Guys love it when girls act allcutesy and clueless.""Are you bullying me?" She stuck her tongue out at me before grabbing myhand and leading me to the parking lot.This girl was filthy rich. I thought to myself. Yesterday she was driving aPorsche, today it's a Benz. Not that I was complaining-having someonedrive me around was convenient. I didn't even know how to drive."When are you going back to Korea?""I'll go whenever I'm done with work.""Change things up a little. And stop by to visit your grandma's grave.""This is a mess. My mom's a full-blooded Chinese woman born in Thailand.My dad's Korean, but they met in San Francisco. Then they had me, so Iwas born there, hold an American passport, live in Korea, and speak threelanguages. What the fuck is this?" I laughed. It was confusing. My firstlanguage was English, but I learned Thai and Korean because my parentsdrilled them into me from a young age.As a kid, I could barely hold a conversation with anyone becauseeverything got jumbled together."Hey...""Hmm?" I turned to Plapplueng as she suddenly spoke up while the car sped onto the expressway. I kept my gaze on the road ahead, listening to thesoft love song playing in the background to keep the silence at bay."Has anyone ever approached you while you were over there?""Here and there.""When Are You Gonna Get a Boyfriend, Mar? Staying Single Just to MakePeople Jealous?"
"Well." I chuckled lightly, shrugging as if to say that wasn't the worst wayto look at it. It wasn't that I didn't believe in love, nor was I heartbroken tothe point of shutting myself off. I just didn't see love as a necessity in my21-year-old life."Annoying. You have people swarming around you all the time.""Swarming?""It's just a metaphor.""Noted.""Want me to curse them out for you?""No need. I don't think anyone deserves that.""Such a pain. Do you even know that phrase?""I've heard it before.""You need to expand your vocabulary. The way you talk, all soft and airy,guys fall for it instantly. Meanwhile, girls like me? I wouldn't even knowwhere to put my face."I muttered under my breath in English that she was being ridiculous. Itdidn't take long to reach our destination since traffic wasn't as bad asexpected.As soon as we entered the mall, she spread her arms to embrace the air conditioning. She had been talking about splurging on Prada's newcollection since the night before. Well, if she had the money, why not?"Marvisss!""What?""Make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, please! I miss your cooking."
"Sure," I agreed easily. It was just spaghetti, after all."I'll probably take a while in the store. I don't usually shop at this brandeither.""I can drop you off.""No way. If a fashion major like you walks in, you'd probably stand therefrowning, analyzing every detail like it's serious business. I don't want yougetting all moody."I laughed. She knew me too well. Not surprising-we were best friends. Shegave me a quick peck on the cheek before telling me to wait for her at thegourmet market. Even though I loved shopping for clothes, I enjoyedwalking around supermarkets just as much. I liked cooking, mainly becauseI had always lived alone and wasn't fond of eating out.Yeah, I was picky."I'll call when I'm done.""Have fun, bae."We split up, and I took the escalator down to buy groceries for myapartment and ingredients for tonight's spaghetti. Pushing my cart throughthe aisles, I hummed along to the Christmas music playing throughout themall. The holiday season was near-my favorite time of year. Who doesn'tlove Christmas? No one."Which cheese should I get? Mommy's so confused.""Four cheeses is okay, I guess.""Okay?""Well, it's the same thing as 'okayyy,' but in, like, teen slang and stuff.""Who's been teaching you all this? Mommy really wants to know."
The conversation between a mother and her son in front of the cheesedisplay made me pause. Maybe I had been staring too long because the boy,whom his mom had called "Thi," turned around and locked eyes with me."Holy shit!""Language, Jamie."I burst out laughing. His mom even flicked his forehead for cursing andtugged at his ear while he groaned in protest. He looked genuinely surprisedto see me here. We stood there, staring at each other for a few seconds before his mom sighed in defeat and wheeled her cart away, clearly fed upwith us."I love your tee."And he was the first to break the silence."Thanks :)"He looked like a boy straight out of a rom-com-radiant yet full of mystery.Girls were probably obsessed with him. He wore an oversized Mega Yachtt-shirt, light-washed jeans rolled up at the ankles, and high-top Conversewith brightly colored socks that I was pretty sure were from Jacquemus'latest collection.It wouldn't be surprising if people thought he was dressed simply-it was justa t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a face like an overexcited golden retriever. Butno-he was a guy who knew himself well and dressed exceptionally."Cute socks.""Oh, come on.""Are we really going to stand here complimenting each other's outfits? Thisisn't working for me.""You started it." I pushed my shopping cart next to him, and our heightdifference made me a little envious of his long legs. It wasn't weird for me
to be casually talking to someone I once had a one-night stand with. In fact,I quite liked him."Phi, help me pick out some cheese.""Stop right now. Stop immediately! If you don't stop, I'll take you to thevery end!""Take me?""That way?" His expression turned panicked, cheeks flushing red, whichmade me chuckle. Why was everything he did so unintentionally funny?Jamie looked like he was about to bite my head off, but I truly had no ideawhat I'll take you to the very end meant to him."Don't call me 'Phi'.""Why not? It sounds cute.""Because you're older.""How do you know I'm older?""I just dooo.""You're pretty sharp, huh? :)""I'm begging you, please, I'll even bow down to your feet if you want-justlet me go. I give up. I'm scared now!" He squealed like a kid, spoutingsomething I didn't fully understand, but I swear, it was hilarious. I let himoff the hook, and we quietly picked out cheese together.And if this were a romance movie...At the moment our hands brushed while reaching for the same cheese, therewould definitely be some cheesy love song playing in the background."This one's good too. Have you tried it?"
"I don't think they have it in Seoul. I've never seen it before.""So... you don't live in Thailand?""Hold this." I tossed the cheese he recommended into my cart."Ugh, I can never win the lottery.""Lottery?""Yeah, like a lotto. Same thing.""Sounds difficult.""So, are you here for a trip or for work? Can I ask that?"He was adorable-like a curious little puppy. I smiled slightly."As long as you help me with this." I showed him my shopping list. Henodded before casually pushing my cart for me, reassuring me that I didn'tneed to worry about his mom. Apparently, she liked doing the groceryshopping alone and would call him if she needed help."I changed jobs. Still in school, though.""You must be smart. It must be freezing in Korea right now. Single-digittemperatures, I bet. The kind of cold that cuts through your bones.""You go there often?""Not really, but whenever my mom takes me, it's always in December or January. No idea why.""Yeah, something like that. Just needed a change of scenery. I come back toThailand every year anyway. Got some errands to run.""Wow, you actually know the word 'errands'?"
"I know plenty." I grumbled, tossing a pack of ground pork into the cartwhere he was resting his arm. He watched me with bright, curious eyes. Iwrinkled my nose at him-he looked just like a golden retriever puppy."Like what?"T_T"That's cute. Can't I call you 'Phi'?"I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew how to make someone soften up.Plubplung always teased me about being a flirt. I never really understoodwhat that meant, but if getting closer, making a pleading face, reaching outto hold his index finger and giving it a tiny shake before asking againcounted as flirting-then fine."Can't I call you 'Phi'?"Guess I am a flirt."F-Fine, you can..."---"Do people actually meet dates while grocery shopping?""I met mine before grocery shopping.""Marvis!""What? It's true.""Okay, okay. So... how is it? Is he nice?"Plupplueng glanced over at the guy lounging on her couch, sketchingsomething idly in his notebook. If only she knew-her friend wasdangerously good at drawing people in. Anyone who wasn't careful wouldend up utterly spun around his finger. Not exactly dangerous, but...
Let's just say he had a way with charm."People don't just talk about these things.""Alright, alright.""So, are you hungry yet? I'll make the spaghetti.""Yeah, let's eat, chef."Marvis got up from the couch, stretched lazily, and went looking for anapron. When he spotted all the ingredients we had picked out that afternoon,he couldn't help but think about someone-someone who had stayed withhim until the very last second, helping him choose every little thing.Even body wash."This one smells nice. I used to use it.""Yeah?""Mhm. It's got a sexy scent. Shower with this, and girls will follow you allover campus.""Just thinking about it makes me laugh.""Laughing by yourself? Crazy.""Are you nitpicking?""You just look so annoyingly happy. What's up with that?""Nothing... just thinking about something funny.""Thinking about or missing that junior? That kid, right?""Didn't ask, but I'm guessing they're younger.""Immortal again, huh?"
"How is that immortal? I've heard that term before-immortal."Marvis, busy seasoning the ground pork, muttered to himself, makingPlupplueng sigh as she had to explain the whole 'dating younger keeps youyoung' thing again. It took a while for him to get it, and by the end, she hada headache.This guy was basically a five-year-old in a twenty-one-year-old's body."So how did you two meet?""Not really met, just a normal one-night stand, then ran into each other again.""And you two can just talk like that? No awkwardness?""Don't know, Phi. You can be friends if they're interesting enough.""And are they interesting to you, Marvis?""He is :)"Plupplueng scrunched her nose in exasperation at how ridiculously pleasedhe looked while cooking.Marvis was charming in everything he did-in every word, every action,every thought. Whether it was a woman or a man, people fell for him waytoo easily. She wasn't exaggerating. But no matter who it was, in the end, italways ended the same way."Are you planning to take it seriously? Like, actually talking?""We can talk.""But not seriously?"Yeah, that meant he was going to push them away like always."Don't you dare smile."
"Who knows.""Stop messing around with people's feelings!""Wait, is that... a song?" Marvis asked, bewildered."Duh. Ever heard of Golf & Mike?""Nope.""Not surprised, honestly."Plupplueng handed him a can of tomatoes while he busied himself withingredients. She looked at her friend-same height as her-and felt a sense of unease."Mar.""Yes?""Don't go breaking anyone's heart, got it?""So what? I have his Instagram now.""And?""Just casually stalking. Swiping through his stories when I'm bored.""Pathetic. Why didn't you ask for his LINE?""He doesn't have one, dumbass. He's not even in this country. Probably usessomething else. Doesn't seem like the type glued to his phone, either.""So... are you gonna go for it?" Plupplueng asked, watching her friendstress-eat through a ridiculous number of fried fish balls. But no matter howmuch that idiot ate, he never gained weight. His body was still in top shape- probably because he had nothing better to do during break and just hit thegym like every other health-conscious guy.
Yeah, right. Bet he was hooking up with someone at the gym too.Shameless."Me? A warrior like me would never lower myself to chase someone.""Alright then.""Haha..." He wiped his nonexistent sweat. He wouldn't admit it, but yeah...he wanted to.It all seemed so difficult, even though it shouldn't be. The other guy didn'tseem closed off at all. He even followed him back on Instagram.Really, the only way to start a conversation now was to slide into his DMs.But how the hell do I even start a conversation? Is there anything I can bring up? What should I do?---"What should I talk to him about, Pae?""Didn't you say you weren't gonna flirt, dumbass?""I'm not flirting! Where did that come from?! I said talking. Talking! Boldletters! Underlined! Highlighted! Circled two hundred times!""Dunno, invite him out?""I said talk, not ask him out. That's too much. Don't be an idiot, Pae."Jettana smacked his friend's head, only to get smacked back just as hard.Typical. Everyone bullied him all the time."Politics?""Nope. Hard pass."
"You're tough, Jettana. You've always been tough. But why... why today?""What the hell are you on about? Are you seriously monologuing? Do Iactually have a crazy person for a friend?""It's just hard, okay?! I just wanna get to know him, but it's not like I likehim or anything!""Damn. And this is you not liking him?""I mean, it's not like I have to have him or anything! But if I could, that'd be-""Why though? Is he that cool?""Yeah! Even just talking for a bit, you can tell he's, like, super cool, man.""Then go get him. You're good at this, Jettana.""Stop hyping me up. I'm serious!""Just talk like you always do. Find a topic to latch onto. But don't do thatdumb fake oops, I made a mistake thing. It looks stupid. I won't vibe withit.""Alright, alright. I wasn't gonna. Only losers do that. If I ever catchsomeone doing it-bam, bam, bam!"Pae sighed, shaking his head at Jettana's over-the-top dramatics. Hewatched as his friend picked up his phone, scrolling and tapping awayfuriously.A moment later, Jettana's eyes went wide as he looked up, voice cracking."Holy shit.""What?""I was scrolling through his Instagram, liking his old posts-"
"Oh my god.""-and then he DM'd me."Pae had never felt such a mix of love and frustration toward someone. Hewished Duang were here. Nakorn Pathom's number one love expert mightactually be able to help this lovestruck idiot."What did he say?"Jettana's hands were shaking.He had spent his whole life being the one who flirted."
'You sureyou'rejustlooking?Notgonna makea move?'
...Holy shit,Aaoww T_T"Why the hell was he the one getting flirted with today?!
02 -BeforetheFlowers Bloom
"What are you staring at so much?"Damn it.I want to scream right now, but what can I do? We're in the middle of Lumphini Park! T_T"Stop smiling like that.""Am I not allowed to smile? That's sad." The way he pretended to look disappointed—just acting, really—was so... Ugh. I won't say it. I want tocry. I've fought a hundred battles, so why am I losing on the hundred-and-first?"You ready?""Right here?""Are we even talking about the same thing?""I hate you.""You don't."The beautiful man knocked on my head lightly. He looked so cute in hisworkout outfit. I wanted to underline it with a red pen and highlight it again —super cute. This is insane. God is messing with me.I don’t even know how we ended up agreeing to run together at LumphiniPark today. It was such a weird meet-up, but my heart was pounding like adrum set.Who the hell stands in the MRT with messy hair, no makeup, putting on lip balm, and then offers it to me, saying, "This brand tastes good, you know"?
Oh my God. Just the fact that I didn’t taste it from your lips is a blessing,okay?!"Jet-ta-na.""What’s that?""What’s that?""Sorryyy, I won’t use hard words anymore. It means ‘What does it mean?’ but in Northern Thai.""Northern Thai... I'm so confused." Marvis looked like he was about to cry.I chuckled softly before explaining in English, afraid that speaking moreThai would only make things worse. His Thai vocabulary was tiny— understandable, since he never lived here. He only knew some words because his mom forced him to speak.He told me he had only a few Thai friends. Everyone tried speaking longsentences to him at first, but eventually, they all had to wave the white flag —just like me. The more they spoke, the more confused he got."After we finish running, let’s go eat ‘kuay jap yuan.’""I have no idea what that is, but I’m in.""Why do you agree to everything so easily? Not that I’m calling you easy! Ididn’t mean it like that!" I scratched my head awkwardly. He mumbled inEnglish that I was overthinking things, then answered:"Maybe we just click.""Whoa, you know that phrase?""Are you complimenting me?""Good job, little one!"
"Little one?" He repeated with an utterly confused expression. Looks likewe weren’t going to get much running done today—just strolling along,chatting about random things."It’s a way to call someone you find really endearing. Technically, ‘yai’ isfor girls, right?""Yeah, that’s what I know.""But nowadays, you can use it for anyone you find adorable, like‘yaaiiiii~’""Like… ‘Yaai Jamie’?"What.The.Fuck.T_T"Did I use it wrong?""Do you want to see someone cry?""Who?" He looked left and right.Holy shit. So damn cute. We're all going to die. We're all going to dieeeee!"Let's just run. Talking to you makes me want to cry.""Alright, I'm sorry.""A kiss on the cheek, and I'll forgive you."
Jub
"Are we good?""..."
It took just a split second, but the grandmas, grandpas, and all the other runners around us widened their eyes as they watched us kiss on the cheek.Yep. He actually tiptoed and kissed me lightly on the cheek.Honestly, it’s my fault. I forgot that he hasn’t lived in Thailand for ages. Hewas raised like a Westerner, just like me.So hugging and kissing? Totally normal for him.I messed with the wrong person. You’re not skilled enough for this, Jettana!"Don't do that with anyone else, got it?" I told him softly. His cheeks turned pink. Marvis shrugged before telling me he was going to run ahead. Then,without another word, he took off, his top-tier Nike running shoes hittingthe pavement.I watched his slim back, pale skin peeking out from under his tank top, hisathletic shorts fitting just right.I'm done for.I really want to cry... I'm serious."Haah... more..."I glanced at my Apple Watch—the only time I ever wear it is for exercise. Itshowed my heart rate, time, and distance. Brutal. I was panting like a dognow, sitting by the side of the track, waiting for the one person who lookedlike they ran every day of their life to come back with water.Marvis returned with two bottles of mineral water. He pressed one againstmy cheek, grinning mischievously like a little kid before plopping down beside me and taking a swig."You good, old man?""Wow. Rude."
"You looked really exhausted.""And you looked like a pro runner.""I like working out when I'm stressed. This was nothing.""Nothing, huh?""I was messing with you." He pouted and reached to tie his frayingshoelace, but I was faster.To be fair, I do like taking care of people... if they’re cute."All set.""Let’s go eat that thing you mentioned.""Alright, follow me! Stick together! I'm the tour guide.""Okay." The smaller guy behind me laughed.It didn’t take long for us to reach the MRT. A few stops later, we arrived,and after a short walk, we were at the restaurant. Nothing a Korean like himcouldn’t handle—people in Korea love walking. Honestly, he felt like a realKorean at this point.Since it was rush hour, the MRT was packed.Freaking third-world country. I cursed in my head as the train jolted.And, of course— "Sorry."He murmured softly when the train jerked and sent him crashing into mychest.I shook my head, muttering "Sorry" back in the same language as I steadiedhim with a loose grip on his waist.
So damn slim... but if I remember correctly, that night—his body was crazyhot."Why are you making that face?""Crap.""Hmm""Are you staring at me?""Aya." Marvis stared at me with wide, innocent eyes."What are you thinking about?""Something bad, probably. I saw you swallow just now.""Don't act like you can read my mind.""You're looking at my lips right now.""This boy—""Am I wrong? :)"I clenched my fists.Why is he so damn wicked? I can't take this. Don’t mess with me like this,okay? My heart can only handle so much. How far do you want to pushme? I let out a deep breath, thanking every divine being in existence whenwe finally got out of that crowded train car. But even as we walked, he keptteasing me, insisting I was thinking dirty thoughts about him.Oh God. So this is why Duang always gets cursed out by Qin for having afilthy mind. His face must give him away. What the hell am I supposed todo?"I wasn’t thinking anything bad!"
"You totally were. I can tell.""Oh yeah? Tell me exactly what you think I was thinking, then. Go on, prove it.""You're checking me out with those eyes.""...""And when you stare at my lips, I know you want to bite them."My heart nearly exploded.It was this strange mix of attraction and panic. Was it because I’d never metanyone like him before? Was that why I felt so weak and completely out of my element?I avoided his sharp gaze and nudged his waist lightly, guiding him in theright direction."You're actually pretty shy, huh?""Enough already!""Why are you whining so much?""I'm gonna die, seriously. Stop it!"Kill me. — "Hello? Yeah, yeah. Never mind, I won’t say it."["Dude, what the hell is up with you?"]"Duang, are you still not back yet?! Seriously, why the hell have you beenin Chiang Mai for a whole week? What’s so good about it? Just confessalready."
["Oh, I forgot to send you a picture of Prince. Check your Line. I sent it toeveryone. I brought my camera, so I took a bunch of pics for them to poston Instagram."]"Who the hell is Prince again? I forgot. There were way too many people— what, like six of you on that trip?"["Yeah, Prince is Khuafa’s partner. Qin’s cousin. Khuafa is Dao Nuea’solder brother."]"Hold on, let me put my AirPods—holy shit!"Jettana nearly dropped his phone. Not because of anything dramatic—he just wanted to mess with his bestfriend and called him on a whim. But he hadn’t expected to receive a fullset of pictures of the trip’s participants. And every single one of themlooked ridiculously good.Especially the third guy from the left.Exactly my type. Pale skin. Sharp features. Lean build. T_T"I'm going. Right now. Running to the airport until my feet bleed," Jettana joked.["Chill, man."]"Jettana never holds back. I’m coming to see you in Chiang Mai."["Oh, so seeing those faces finally made you wanna come, huh?"]"I'm asking seriously, Ai Duang. Do people who look like this really exist?They're so good-looking. And they're all couples too?! Just thinking about itmakes me weak. I'm curling into a ball."[...]"I get that things are more open these days, but you're telling me all six of these insanely attractive people are dating each other? I want to cry. How dothey match up so perfectly?"
"Jetnana is signing off."["You're ridiculous, you idiot."]"When are you coming back?? I wanna see the lights at CentralWorld!"["I'll be back when you have a girlfriend."]The person on the other end froze for a second before realizing theyshouldn't react like an idiot and give Duang anything to suspect. So instead,they raised their voice and snapped back, only to hear a soft laugh fromtheir best friend in response."Slut. Might as well change your residency while you're at it. You're never gonna be a Konthom again!"Why is everyone so obsessed with me having a partner? He wondered as hecursed at Duang.It's not that I don't want one—it’s just that being a player is fun. I'm notreally in the mood to settle down. Plus, I'm not great at distinguishing between liking, loving, and just finding someone attractive. I don’t get allemotional about the word love like other people do. Like I said—I'm awarrior, not a lover."Duang, let me talk to Qin!"Jettana yelled when he heard Qin’s voice.The phrase like a dream isn't even enough to describe this man. The factthat Duang managed to land him means he used up all his karma from every past life. If reincarnation is real, Duang isn't getting another shot at life after this one. I'm dead serious.["Hey, Jettana."]"Ahhh, I miss you so much!"
After whining for a while and getting cursed out by Duang for beingannoying, he finally got to chat with Qin. They clicked right away. In fact,they often ended up having deep conversations when Duang wasn't payingattention.But hey—it’s not backstabbing. They just understood each other. And besides, Qin was one of the most reliable people he'd ever met.[Oh yeah? Where are you right now? Bangkok or Nakhon Pathom?]"I'm always in your heart, babe."["...Seriously?"]We usually spoke in English more than Thai. Ever since Qin overheard metalking to my mom on the phone and I gave him a brief rundown of how Igrew up, our conversations had been straight fire in English.Jamie asked about his life and then about Duang, just briefly. He askedabout the Chiang Mai trip and when they was coming back.…And then, somehow, he ended up asking about his own feelings."Hey."[Yes?]"I don't know how to start, but…"The blond-haired man stared off into the distance. The balcony was hisusual spot—sometimes to smoke, sometimes to drink beer, sometimes todraw. But mostly, it was where he processed his thoughts.And now, he'd reached the hardest part. Now that he knew what it was—what was he supposed to do with it?Where was he supposed to go from here?
"Qin."[Yeah?]"What's the difference between liking someone and being into them?"And then he heard a soft chuckle from the other end of the line, almost as if the person found him endearing.They liked the way he thought—about the world, about people, abouthatred, about wounds, about love, about smiles, about memories.It always gave a different perspective, and he thought he wanted to hear this person’s take on it.Someone who was also one of his closest friends.["Liking something means you can take it or leave it. You might feel a littleregret if you don’t get it, but it wouldn’t devastate you because there are plenty of other things to like. But loving something... that’s a bit narrower.If you can’t have it, you’d probably break down."]"..."[But when you love, does it eventually go back to where it started? To that place where you understand that whether you get it or not, it doesn't matter?As long as it's there, as long as you see it every day, feel it, give to it—evenif you never receive anything in return?]And that was when someone started to wonder—just how far did the threadof his emotions stretch?"Would that be enough?"And where would it end?---
Because many of Marvis’s friends studied around here, this bar had becometheir regular hangout spot. Some of them, exhausted after a full week of work, sat cross-legged on tall barstools with drinks in hand. Marvis couldhold his liquor well, of course—after spending years in Korea, it’d beembarrassing if he couldn’t."You are something else, huh? Plupplueng told me you went running atLumphini Park with some guy.""You're a real bitch, Marvis!!"The accused only laughed. He just went out for a run, worked out a bit,grabbed a meal, chatted a little—but hadn’t seen the guy again since. It had been three or four days now.Jamie was fun to talk to and, honestly, not annoying at all."Table seven is staring at you hard, Mar.""Oh yeah?""See, you’re a menace. Normally, you’re supposed to act like you don’tnotice—just sit there, drink, let them come to you. But you, my friend, youstraight-up turned to look. If you like them, you smile. If you really likethem, you go for it yourself.""I just take it all easy :)""Enough. Speak more Thai, I’m begging you."The so-called pretty one of the group nodded in understanding beforeglancing at table seven again. Not bad—well-dressed, good physique, nicesmile."Looks like someone’s gonna head home early tonight. Plupplueng isn’tcoming anymore.""Of course. If her mom isn’t here to supervise—"
"Don't let her hear you calling her mom."Marvis laughed, clinking his glass with his friend’s. Not long after, he felt a pair of cold hands rest on his shoulders. Not a single time had he missedthis moment.That one smile.His smile."Can I buy you a drink? Do you mind?""Not at all."It was the same thing, over and over again.People always approached him the same way. Some took what they couldget, others were stubborn and wanted more—but he had nothing more togive. His friends often called him heartless. Maybe he was.He never intended to be serious with anyone.Maybe he liked them.But he would never let anyone get that far."I'm Fire.""Mar."They clinked their glasses together softly.He swayed lightly to the jazz playing live in the bar. It was intoxicating, andevery time Marvis moved, it was like a butterfly fluttering its wings.Even if it was just a small movement— Chaos theory tells us that even the tiniest initial condition in aninterconnected system can lead to significant changes in the long run.
In other words…Even the slightest beat of a butterfly’s wings— Could start a storm."You smell so good.""Eh?""If you move a little closer, you might find out whether that's true or not."Marvis didn’t exactly give permission, but he still leaned in, draped an armaround the other man's neck, and pressed his nose against the broadshoulder, inhaling the scent of a cologne that every guy seemed to wear— grinning all the while.Everything was a game.And every move he made was always calculated, never a misstep."You're so damn hot."Sex was fun, after all."Ooooh, thought we were getting down to it right here, Marvis.""Come on, I wouldn’t do that," the fair-skinned man scrunched his nose,grabbing his drink as the guy he’d been messing around with got a call. Heexcused himself politely, promising to be back in less than ten minutes. Not that Marvis had asked, by the way. Just putting that out there. The guycame to him first."I'm going to the bathroom.""Alright, gorgeous. You can go on your own, yeah?""Oh, absolutely. What do you take me for?"
"Nothing, just… my paranoid ass doesn’t want my friend getting draggedoff. Everyone in this place is staring.""Sin," one of his female friends said, because of course people were looking —Marvis was always the center of attention. He stood out effortlessly, withno need to try. Mysterious, unreadable. He never demanded understanding,yet oddly enough, everyone wanted to try.Like that damn apple that got Adam and Eve cursed.Marvis wasn't a curse.But anyone who got too close, who felt too much—well, maybe they werethe ones who ended up cursed."Dude, the pretty one is about to walk past our table.""Jesus, he's insane—how is he so gorgeous and a guy?""This is unreal."He heard it all.Of course he did—he wasn’t deaf. So, naturally, he gave each admirer aquick, teasing smile.But that was all. Compliments didn’t define him. He wasn’t beautiful, cute,handsome, or anything else just because someone said so. He already knewwho he was, what he could do, what he felt— And that was enough."Hey there, troublemaker."If everyone else was black-and-white clothing, Jamie was the outfit Marvischose—not because he was bursting with color, but because he was justcomfortable.
As he passed by the restaurant manager, deep in conversation, Marvisreached out to ruffle his hair. A beer glass was handed to him—Jamie's own.He took it, had a sip, then gently brushed his fingers over Jamie’s cheek."Someone's been flirting with Mr. Muscles non-stop.""Have you been watching me?""Who wouldn’t be watching you, man? You’re the pretty one, remember?""Why does it feel so weird hearing you call me that?""Why, though? Anyway, where are you going? Sit down for a bit.""Sit?""Yeah. Or, y'know, you could just stand there looming over me—I wouldn’tmind.""Okay :)"Jett almost blacked out.Because when he said sit,Jamie just— Plopped right down onto his lap?!T-T …Are you serious right now?!"Jettana, you lucky bastard—""Hey! Don’t make it sound like a crime, okay?!""This isn't comfortable.""There are plenty of empty chairs! I’m begging you!" Jettana nearlyscreamed, but his hands? Yeah, they were firmly holding the other guy’s
waist. Not because he wanted him to leave, but because he really didn’twant him shifting around like that.He could not be caught walking funny in this bar. Absolutely not. It’d bemortifying.He was about to cry."And you—why the hell do you smell so good?""You sniffing me?""Shut up, your damn neck is right at my nose level.""If you like it, just press your nose into it.""MARVIS! I SWEAR TO GOD, I’M GONNA BEAT YOU KID!"Marvis didn’t quite understand what that meant, but he always laughedeasily around this one. They weren’t that close yet, but… he wanted to be."Alright, alright, no more teasing. I actually need to go to the bathroom.He’s waiting.""Oh? So he’s the guy, huh?""Not necessarily.""Come on, Jettana’s standards? Really?"Jamie watched as he stood up to his full height, his slim waist framed bythat oversized satin button-up. It was begging to be grabbed.Troublemaker.Too damn good at it.Yeah, Jamie wasn’t even gonna try fighting this battle.
Not tonight."See you next time, Jamie.""Have fun, bae."They shared a small smile. And even though it was left unsaid,Marvis knew."Baby." Not tonight.---It was like that song by K*C that went, "Comparisons are easily done onceyou've had a taste of perfection."Tonight’s sex wasn’t bad. It was good.But just good.And now, life got a little harder.Because once you’ve tasted something ripe, something just right—not too bitter, not too sweet— It’s tough to go back.Going back to eating the same old apples, just like the song said.Marvis stood by a lamppost, not far from the four-star hotel he had justwalked out of. He had left someone behind, exhausted from passion, lyingagainst cool sheets—just like always. The sweet taste of nicotine andcigarettes helped some people feel better. He cursed softly, feeling a stingon his wrist.
Some people liked rough sex. He did too, sometimes. But the wholegrabbing wrists and slamming hard thing? Yeah, not really feeling ittonight."Hey."The familiar voice made him turn.Jamie stood there, his hair tousled. Not many guys could pull off just awhite T-shirt and jeans and still look that good.Yeah. This kid was one in a million."What are you standing here staring into space for? I saw you leave withMr. Muscle—thought you’d still be with him.""We split up. What about you?""Just got out too. You staying at this hotel?""Yeah.""You seem kinda off. You good?"As Jamie stepped closer, Marvis noticed the plastic bag in his hand—threeor four cans of beer inside. Without a word, he sat down on the curb, pattingthe space beside him. Jamie followed, and soon they were cracking open beers, lighting cigarettes, and staring at the night sky like a couple of hopeless romantics."Wasn’t good? Mr. Muscle?""Not really. You?""I had a great time. Big tits.""Piss off."
"What? She did have big tits. Moaned a bit too loud, though. My ears arestill ringing.""You're so funny, Jamie.""Yeah, yeah, I know I'm funny, but did you really have to kiss my cheek over it?!" Jettana pulled a face like he was about to cry. Who the hell justkisses someone for being funny? And that was not a casual kiss—that was a pressed-in, nose-squished-like-you're-kissing-a-big-dog kind of kiss."Jamieee.""Don’t you dare look at me with that fond expression! Leave me alone!""Can I say something?""You don’t have to ask. Say whatever you want. You're cute—you can sayanything.""You know what? You’re really something else.""What now?! What do you want from me?!""Ever since that night we had sex, everyone else just… feels worse.""…"It wasn’t the first time he’d been complimented in bed. But this time—thistime—his heart pounded in a way he wasn’t used to. The bitterness of the beer tasted different in his mouth. He turned away, avoiding Marvis’s gaze —too damn alluring—and cleared his throat awkwardly like some shy idiot."Same."Jamie admitted.Goddamn it.… It sucked.
It sucked that once you’d known what a hundred felt like, nothing lesswould ever be enough again.It had to be one hundred."What should we do now?"To be honest, you weren’t just a hundred.You were a hundred and one. Even though it was only supposed to go up toone hundred."Okay… let's make a deal."The taller one spoke calmly, watching the condensation drip down the sideof his beer can.He swallowed hard.It wasn’t like he’d never done this before—but with Marvis, it feltdangerous as hell."If you want it, just call me.""Fuck buddy?""Ugh, I don’t like the word fuck, my heart is too soft for that.""Not a fan of friends with benefits either. Feels too much like a give-and-take deal.""Damn, this is getting complicated just to come up with a name. But bootycall is a no-go. I hate that word. Booty."Marvis laughed when Jamie made exaggerated gestures to show just howmuch he disliked it."Bed buddy?"
"That sounds good."We smiled... like teenagers in a romance movie who had no idea where thistrain was headed. We didn’t know where we were going, why, or how itwould end."You think this will turn into one of those cheesy movies where, in the end,one of us falls in love with the other?""It’s possible.""Hey, just putting it out there—I won’t fall in love.""Yeah, yeah, not falling in love.""Not falling in love either."But for tonight— For now— "Yeah... not in love."We’d go together.
03 -BeforetheSweetDream
"Mom, how about we try making those overfilled donuts like the ones onthe internet today?""Overfilled donuts?""Yeah! Here, let me show you." Jamie swiped through his phone for just amoment before handing it to his mom. Honestly, his mom was super modern—sometimes even more in touch with youth culture than he was.Maybe it was because she had lived abroad for years, making her open-minded about many things, including topics like sexuality. Jamie could talk to his mom and dad about anything without hesitation."Then we need to go out and buy the ingredients. I'll warm up the oven inthe meantime.""Got it, boss!""Oh, and pick up some salmon for Dad too. He’s been saying he wantssome. Here's some money—buy whatever else you want to eat.""I've never loved anyone as much as I love you." Jamie let out a dramaticcry, thrilled at the generous shopping budget. Being an only child had its perks—his parents spoiled him like crazy. Before he could run up and kisshis mom to emphasize his love, he got a firm pinch on the side instead."I bet once you have a wife, you won’t love your mom as much anymore.""Ouch, that’s harsh!""It's true! Every son ends up loving his wife more than his mom.""Not me. Those girls? They’ll never have my heart. They might get my body, but that’s it."
"Sigh You’re giving me a headache. Just go already."Oof. That was intense.Jamie twirled the car keys in his hand, nodding in thanks as the family’sgardener opened the gate. The house used to have an automatic gate, butDad had it removed because he thought it was too slow. Classic dad move —always impatient.The sleek white car rolled out of the large house at a steady pace. Jamiecould brag about many things, but flaunting family wealth? That was a no-go. It was 2020, after all. Enough was enough. He wouldn’t let himself be avictim anymore!It didn’t take long to reach the nearest mall. Realizing he needed a caffeinefix after a rough night’s sleep, he decided to grab an iced latte. But as heturned into Starbucks, he spotted someone sitting behind a MacBook, usinga digital pen tablet, and wearing the nerdiest glasses ever.Hot nerd, to be precise.Fashion-wise, he never lost to anyone."Shit."Marvis muttered under his breath when he looked up from his screen andsaw someone casually plopping into the seat across from him—pushing hishot chocolate toward him with a teasing grin."Surprise :p""You scared me :(""Hey there~"Marvis sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing his temples. He wasgenuinely startled. He hadn’t expected to run into anyone. He had broughthis work to Starbucks because staying alone in his room felt stifling for
some reason. But at the same time, he had to admit—he preferred workingin silence.Maybe it all just depended on his mood."Aww, sorry! Did I ruin your vibe?""Nah, just stressed about work.""Want me to help?""Yeah, by stopping yourself from drinking my hot chocolate.""Ahh!" Jamie burst out laughing, making Marvis—who had been stressedout—smile despite himself. He didn’t even know why, but somehow,having someone here felt better than being alone."Don’t mess with me—I’m an art student, okay?""Seriously?""Yeah. Fine Arts, actually.""Draw something for me?""I'll draw for you later, promise! But first, let me grab a latte—and I’ll buyyou a new hot chocolate to make up for the one you lost."Marvis shook his head with a small smile, watching Jamie’s broad back ashe walked away. He really did look like he had just stepped out of hishouse, dressed in the most casual outfit possible—flip-flops and all.Seeing him like this felt oddly refreshing."I got you a whoopie pie too. Do you like it? It has a crust.""I can eat it."
"Why do they only sell these in December? Can’t people crave whoopie pies all year?""Then make your own. Thought you were confident?""Don’t challenge me! I literally came here after buying ingredients to makedonuts, okay?""You always manage to surprise me.""Excuse me? Sweet guys can bake too." Jamie huffed before settling intothe seat beside Marvis.Marvis, who hated the freezing AC in coffee shops, instinctively scootedcloser to Jamie's warmth.It felt completely natural—the way the smaller man leaned his head againstJamie’s shoulder, slid his arm against Jamie’s warmer one, and nestled in asif he were curling up beside a fireplace."Damn, how am I supposed to use my mouse like this?""I’m cold.""Fine, fine. What do you want me to draw?""Draw me.""Every girl in this university dreams of being drawn by me, you know. I'mserious—I mean it."Marvis didn’t respond, just smiled as Jamie began sketching in bold black strokes. He laughed when he finally saw what Jamie had drawn— "A dog? Seriously?" He gave Jamie a light shove."Well, you kinda look like one.""Do it over—I don’t want to be a dog."
"I don’t really want to draw your face, though. You always give me thatflirty look. It’s distracting.""Please."Jamie continued sketching, this time drawing a cat with a red collar and an"M" tag. Marvis whined about not wanting to be a cat either. Jamie then proceeded to sketch a bow-tied bear cub, a lioness, and a rainbow-shelledturtle.It was fun, honestly—listening to Marvis laugh at the little things he did."A whole damn zoo, I guess."Jamie shook his head before saying, "Alright, I'll get serious now."Finally, he looked down at Marvis—who never once broke eye contact.Jamie had never really experienced this before. He knew Marvis wasn’t being clingy; he was just cold. But still—how did he end up getting cuddledlike this?"Your lines are really cute.""Of course. I love compliments—I won’t even argue.""You can draw in so many styles." Marvis commented, watching Jamie shiftfrom doodling to a more detailed portrait—carefully adding shading beforefinally setting down his pen tablet with a satisfied nod."You’re really talented.""That sounds like you’re expecting something in return.""Not at all. You’re just genuinely talented.""Alright, alright, I believe you.""So, are you still going shopping? Want me to come with you? I don’t feellike working anymore."
"Oh? Now I’m the one distracting you?""I can go. My work isn’t urgent—I'm the one stressing myself out.""Then let’s go! I’ll carry your MacBook."Jamie offered and started packing up Marvis’ things for him before he evenhad to move. With a wave, Jamie signaled him to follow along.Marvis just smiled, trailing behind him—watching the way Jamie’s plain T-shirt hung over his broad back.The old Cartoon Network shows he loved as a kid, ripped denim shorts,sneakers— And— "You look so cute today.""Ha.""You look so cute today."The heart inside Jamie’s chest pounded wildly. He quickly turned hisattention back to the aisle because if he kept looking at Marvis—who had just flashed him that sweet smile—he might actually collapse on the spot.Too strong. Way too strong. He could never win against this kind of attack."Can I push the cart?""Oh—sure, whatever you want.""I heard that making good donuts is actually really hard. Is that true?""Yeah, it’s true. Sometimes the dough just doesn’t turn out right. I’m notreally worried about the filling—since we’re making stuffed donuts—but if the dough isn’t good, then the whole thing is pointless. Everything has towork together."
"You sound so passionate about baking.""Well, my mom bakes too. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. I’ll make pecan cookies for you to try next time.""That’s so cute.""That’s the second time you’ve called me cute! What exactly do you wantfrom me?" Jamie groaned, tossing a bag of flour into the cart while Marvisremained unfazed.But honestly, how could he not say it? Just imagining this big guy in a cuteapron, standing in the kitchen baking, was already too much to handle."I wanna see it.""See what?""You. Baking.""...Oh, hell.Jamie knew Marvis probably didn’t actually expect to get an invitation towatch, but still—his heart was practically rolling out a red carpet,screaming for him to just bring Marvis home already.Could he, though? Like, was it normal for bed buddies to invite each other home?But—he was a buddy, right?"Then let’s go.""Huh?""Come watch me bake."
"
강아지
~~~""Hey, calm down! Don't shove me-Mie's gonna fall off the chair!" Jamieyelled, even as his arms tightened around my waist.I'd climbed onto his lap just so I could talk to the puppy on the MacBook screen he'd set up on the table. It was ridiculously cute-so fat, so fluffy, withthe prettiest fur color.I kept cooing at it. If I could've reached through the screen, I swear I'd havegrabbed it and made sure it remembered that this is Marvis."Baaabyyyyyyy~"[Fluffy says hi to Uncle Jet's boyfriend-hurry up!][Woof!]"Ughhhhhh-""Relax, haha."[You've never met Fluffy before, right? I forgot-this is Qin's dog.Technically my kid too. Just over a year old~]"He's sooo chubby-what do you eat, little guyyy?"I was having a full-on conversation with the dog on screen. It didn't reallyrespond. Jamie suggested I try speaking Chinese, so I did-just basicgreetings and small talk, since that's all I know.Still no response."He's sulking now-my boyfriend's sad. The dog won't talk to him."[Sorry, Phi-Fluffy's not very... social. But she plays hard. You gotta meet her in person. She's rough in a very animal way.]
"Ooh.""True," Jamie backed him up. "She loves jumping on people-especially if she's never met you before.""Really?? I wanna play with Fluffy so bad!"Jamie tightened his hold around my waist, kissed my shoulder, and said hefound me adorable. I was about to die, honestly-what is wrong with him?Duang watched us clinging to each other on screen, the corgi's funny littleface between us, and let out a quiet sigh.[How sweet are you two planning to be? Why am I the one who has to seethis every time?]"Exclusive privilege. Want us to kiss on camera for you too?"A warm hand tilted my chin up. I laughed softly and kissed him properly- but Duang's dramatic yelling made us pull apart, laughing instead.[Have some mercy for someone whose boyfriend runs off chasing roti carts, please! If you're gonna love each other this hard, you might as well go liveand stream your sex life. I swear, Jet, I'm done letting you bully me.]"Ohhh, Duanggg-we're not that bad~"[Don't 'we' me. Your hand is literally down his pants already, you bastard.]"Oops. Didn't even notice."I laughed quietly at the exchange between Jamie and his best friend, burying my face into the warm crook of his neck. Jamie kept gettingscolded until, eventually, he ended the call.And we stayed like that. It got late because I started getting whiny abouthow his hand just would not leave my pants."What can I do?" he said lightly."Your skin shows."
That sly smile-I knew it. I always know."I've got an early class tomorrow morning, you know.""Whaaat..."He dragged the word out dramatically, even though his hand was stillroaming my hip, unbothered. His sharp nose brushed along my cheek, hislips pressed a soft kiss under my chin. He whispered
Iloveyou
in that voicethat always makes something in my chest tighten, deeper and deeper withevery second.Then he bit my neck-gentle but possessive-and flicked his tongue over themark, like he was soothing the damage he'd just caused.I lifted my hips so Jamie could tug my pajama pants down, leaving me innothing but thin underwear. He whistled, clearly pleased-the fabric wasalmost indecently sheer."At this point, you might as well not wear anything," he said."Just wastes my time taking it off.""Don't you like taking it off?" I teased."I like leaving it on," he replied softly."I like that in-between feeling. Watching your face while you suffer likethat... that's my favorite."Both of us on that chair-I wasn't entirely sure it could handle our weight.Every time I climbed onto him, my head went blank. He knew exactlywhere to touch, how to touch-how to strip me down until I was nothing butsubmissive when I'm with him.I gasped, fingers tangling in his soft hair as he lifted me easily and set medown on the table. Then his mouth was everywhere he knew he wasn'tsupposed to be-and yet always was. I panted, watching his warm handstroke me while his mouth worked me from behind with devastating patience.
I spread my legs wider, smiling knowingly-because I know he likes it whenI do that.Jamie laughed under his breath, delighted. He bit along my inner thigh,leaving marks all the way down to my calf, to my ankle-the places healways kisses. Then he freed himself from his own pants, stroking himself openly while never breaking eye contact with me."Put your booty up, bae."I shook my head.I shoved his solid chest, pushing him back into the chair before straddlinghim instead-lowering myself onto him. He groaned, satisfied, the momenthe slid inside me. I moved slowly, deliberately, while he steadied my hips.He cursed under his breath, jaw clenched so tight I had to lean down andkiss him."Your thing's getting harder.""It is," he said hoarsely."You ride me too well, Marvis."He grabbed my hair and thrust up into me. I gasped, arms looping aroundhis neck, lips pressed to his burning ear, then down his throat-biting,sucking, leaving marks as I rocked against him like I couldn't get enough.And I never do. Not with him."Yeonnam's got good stuff," he muttered."Ah-don't lick," I protested weakly, scolding the younger man as his tonguetraced over my chest through the thin T-shirt he refused to take off. Jamieloves this-leaving things half-on, half-off. He says it's sexier when I'mtrapped like that.
His sharp teeth sank into my chest. He tied the hem of my shirt up so hecould torment me properly. I arched back, moaning as he overwhelmed mefrom both sides at once.Jamie licked his lips, pleased. He slapped my hip to make me move-up anddown, harder, faster-until everything dissolved into sensation.And I gave him exactly what he wanted.That bad-mannered man whistled teasingly and said I was getting too hot.In the end, he locked me in place and took control of the game himself.Our eyes met. He looked utterly satisfied-especially when he saw my eyesglassy with tears, the way they always do after his devastatingly good sex.My body jerked and tensed. I clung to his neck, startled by how hard the pleasure hit when I finally tipped over the edge. He followed right after-justa brief, urgent push in his rhythm before he finished inside me.He kept moving, slow and gentle now. I could feel exactly where what he'dreleased was-inside me, sticky and unmistakable, making embarrassinglittle sounds every time he rolled his hips in and out."Hey, you're gonna make a mess.""I'll clean you up," he said casually."Mm... hurry.""But let me have one more round first :)"I sighed.He lifted me effortlessly and carried me to the bed without pulling out. Heeven put on a mock-sympathetic face as he stripped my T-shirt off-then bitme everywhere he could think of, like he was making up for lost time. After that, he leaned in close and whispered by my ear,"I know you like it."
My cheeks burned at his words.Then those warm lips pressed down on mine again-how many times now,I'd lost count."You little menace."Damn it.He's the real menace. :(
