Because of experience and adaptation.

No one gets exactly what they want, which makes them frustrated, sad and angry. People are born with great dreams and ambitions that are difficult to achieve entirely (from modest, realistic things like owning a waffle house or living by the sea to more oneiric quests, like flying or being married to a movie star), as well as a great need for love and affection that is difficult to quench, and unload their frustration on others. They in turn, do the same.

Once they realize this behavior is normal and widespread, they adapt, just like any other organism, and do the same to others as was done to them. This cycle is perpetuated. Of course you have the freedom to choose to still be nice in spite of how people have treated you in the past, but whether you like it or not, a part inside of you will die, little by little, and you will lose the desire to be nice because you know people don't care.

I'm 27. When I was younger, I used to be nice to people, even strangers, and bestow them gifts. Then I found they were extremely ungrateful and kept on bullying me even if I was nice to them. The more I gave, the less they cared. They weren't grateful for my kindness, they took advantage of it, seeing it as a form of weakness to be exploited.

I still am a good person, because I refuse to be corrupted by the world, and allow it to define me, but the impulse to go out and meet new people and do nice things for them has waned considerably, and I find myself to be much more guarded as I get older.

But, to end on a positive note, like I said, you shouldn’t let the way the world works and everyone else define who you are. If you are a good person, don’t change. You are free to be what you want. And your conscience will thank you. But be prepared to pay the price.

Constant negative reinforcement, of anything that main stream media narratives want to push forward, to Garner more “ views, like, shares etc".

You just cannot escape someone else's opinionated social commentary, on any channel or website today.

Because we are sheep, yes me included, we tend to believe those websites, channels, or so called journalists, and whatever narrative they are pushing on that day.

People are less likely to be able to find middle ground on any subject at all, when they constantly hear how violently people react to any opinion but their own.

In my generation, born in 1966, for sake of argument, we basically acknowledged, that people were entitled to their individual opinion, as part of our freedom of speech. We didn't try to violently change their opinion, because it was different from ours. We just agreed to disagree and went our separate ways. To be quite honest, sadly in my own household, we have had to come to the agreement, to not bring up certain subjects at the dinner table to avoid negative arguments, that we could not agree on.

I personally blame social media platforms, such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, tik tok and etc. For this continued narrative push, that has made even my own children hostile.

Yes, most of society in western culture is oriented toward hostility. The largest reasons being these: one- we have left our heritage of community, traditional family, and belief that all people have value far behind us at a societal level. Two- we are erroneously taught from a young age that for one person to succeed, another has to fail or suffer. Three- the media in general and many politicians have become expert at pitting groups against each other and this has snuck into the average person's daily life and attitudes. As a result, many people move around in the public spaces of life with the attitude that everyone is out to get me, so I had better be prepared to defend my self.
I would advise that you focus on your emotions and outward expressions. The happier and more joyful you feel and show- the more likely you are to have a positive encounter with people. In this area I really like Crisis Maven's answer. One of my favorite pass times when I am shopping is to interact in a funny way with unhappy kids. It usually calms them down, reduces the stress around them and the adult with them usually gets to take at least a momentary breath, and maybe even smiles at my silliness. The more you love on people, the harder it is for them to be grumps around you.
Hope this helps.

Person 1: Guys, guess what? I just passed my driving test and got a car!

(Shares a photo of a black BMW)

Person 2: Wow, that’s great! I’m happy for you!

Person 3: BMW's are actually one of the worst car brands. You likely won’t get much mileage on that thing. But congratulations.

Person 1: I’m going away on holiday to Greece next year!

Person 2: Sounds nice! I hope you have fun.

Person 3: Greece? Seriously? No offence but they’ve got terrible laws over there. You probably won’t like it. But good for you.

Person 1: I’ve received a job offer at the local newspaper. My interview is tomorrow!

Person 2: That’s great! Tell me how it goes afterwards!

Person 3: But isn’t that place just SJW propaganda? Congrats, though.

In the examples above, the third person simply can’t be happy for someone who shares good news. Instead, they have to share whatever negative, degrading thoughts they have first.

People who do this are generally the most disliked member of a friend group.

They fail to congratulate others on their accomplishments, or just keep their opinions to themselves. They instead choose to bring others down with their pessimistic viewpoints.

While you’re not wrong expressing your personal opinion, nobody likes a snob or a downer.

I’m friends with a good-looking guy who is perpetually single. If he ever asked me what he’s doing wrong, I would tell him all of this:

• Requiring constant validation. It is exhausting for others.
• Bragging about yourself. Let other people do that.
• Talking primarily about yourself, especially if your stories usually feature you as the hero and everyone else learning a lesson. (Or if all your stories are about you being wronged!)
• Being unwilling to laugh at or make fun of yourself.
• Finding the down side in everything and killing others’ exuberance. Never being happy or excited for others.
• Appointing yourself as the person who should tell others the “brutal truth” about their personal situation.
• Giving backhanded or underwhelming compliments.
• Contradicting people compulsively over things that don’t matter—like when you know perfectly well what they meant.
• Arguing for no reason other than to have the last word or assert that you are smarter.
• Never asking other people about themselves (or obviously doing so as a mile marker so you can keep talking about you).
• One-upmanship. This includes all forms of stealing someone else’s thunder, like always saying “Me too” when the other person is sharing something they did, or delivering the punchline of their joke.
• Using crass language that isn’t necessary or witty.
• Killing conversations: Announcing your dislike of something another person just told you they love (food, fashion, literature, whatever) and not really going anywhere with it. Responding to friendly questions with one-word answers. Basically running other people out of things to say.
• Gross personal habits like picking your teeth or ears, belching, spitting, or scratching your scalp in public
• Persistently flirting with people who have told you they’re not interested. Sulking or acting hurt when they are unresponsive or ask you to stop. Making wounded remarks. Abusing their friendship by making them feel guilty and forcing them to console you.

[EDIT: Several people have asked me why I’m friends with this guy. We have a shared history and mutual loyalty—not that it matters. You can care about someone who is not fun to be around. I mention his good looks only to emphasize that some qualities have a powerful negative influence—sometimes enough to cancel out natural advantages.]

You are competition for food, space, clean water, and healthcare. You are human. You smell bad or have an attitude that makes me want to be aggressive. Maybe your voice makes my ears hurt (I have autism so my hearing is much more sensitive than I would like). Maybe you took the last one of my favorite energy drinks. Could be that I just don’t like you for some odd reason I can’t explain in the moment. It could be that you’re projecting an arrogance that makes me want to assault you. It might even be that you disrespected someone who didn’t deserve it and you need to be taught a lesson about keeping your mouth shut and your tone in check should it be necessary to speak.

These are my reasons for being hostile with strangers. Sometimes I am just in that mood of ‘I wish a mf would.’ It happens and it’s not personal, not for me.

More often then not I will be hostile towards you because you are a human. But please don’t take this as me saying you specifically. I mean this about pretty much everyone I don’t know. The ‘you’ I am using is not directed at you personally.

I am not currently hostile towards you and likely won’t be unless you assume I was attacking you when i am not and see fit to get aggressive with me. This is a hypothetical.

Have a good day and be at peace.

INTJs go big or go home, and their homes trend to be exceptionally comfortable. Home is where all the comforts are that let them relax and recharge. So In most cases very little will be worth their time and energy.

They tend to see things as either a transaction or investment. What do they have to gain in a hostile exchange? ego? That isn't often a tangible currency. They see that it will cost them much more than they'd like to spend. Slinking away costs less, in a situation where you must spend something. They care very little (in most cases) how that will appear socially or who thinks they are winning what. That right there was a battle, but don't forget the Tactician is focused on winning the war.

It can be complicated because they also don't like unfinished business or loose ends so if they do become hostile they will go all the way. Don't wound what you can't kill. That goes both ways. An INTJ will literally hunt you to the ends of the earth, all the way to hell, and back again.

If people thought they were heartless robots when they were in harmless mode 99% of the time, they have no idea the Terminator they are about to activate. 😬

Follow me on Quora for more INTJ stuff.

In my diagnosis it’s referred to as ,”periods of increased irritation and hostility.”

Hostility does not refer specifically to violence, or physical aggression when used this way.

It refers more to a state of “go away and leave me alone right now because i cannot process any more information and I will say or do whatever I need to do to get away or make you leave because I am in extreme fear or distress.”

It can look a lot like neurotypical anger or rage, but it is not.

If you read “Autistic Hostility,” in a diagnosis, it’s one way of saying Autistic Meltdown. (A F-ing pedantic term by the way. Overload describes it better.)

It is the external behaviours that we exhibit as fight or flight responses when our brains are neurologically overloaded with information.

A neurotypical person’s brain will overload as well. They exhibit exactly the same type of behaviours, especially with terror and panic.

Autistic people receive more sensory input due to our neurological configuration, and so Overload more frequently.

Generally, if you are getting hostility from an Autistic person, it isn’t necessarily you as an individual human that is provoking it.

You are doing something distressing to the person, represent something distressing, (sadly, many of us feel this way about police and physicians,) or the person is distressed due to hyper stimulation and you are adding to the stimuli.

We aren’t angry with you because we don’t necessarily perceive you as human in this state, all we perceive is something that is making us feel worse.

No different than when a neurotypical person is frustrated and lashes out at someone who interrupts them, and then apologizes later once they’ve calmed down because it was in the “heat of the moment,” or because “passions were flaring.”

We experience Overloads more frequently and we do not always want the response you would take with other people.

We do not want to be talked to or consoled, we cannot understand it or be consoled because our mind is in an hyper stimulated state and we need less stimuli, not more.

Touch is tactile stimulation and for some of us, physical touch is experienced as pain. Like any human, if you do something that hurts us, we will react to that pain stimuli.

That can mean slapping away a hand placed on a shoulder to try and help. Pushing someone who is trying to hug us. Smacking a mouth that keeps saying the same thing over and over that makes no sense and won’t stop when you ask it to.

That is what I perceive you meant by Autistic Hostility.

Either an Autistic Overload, or the negative behaviour responses Autistic people show when neurotyoical psychology is used to try and console or calm us down.

It is a really bad description of a fear or panic state.

Words like Autistic Hostility can make it sound like we’re dangerous, or a threat to our coworkers and society.

It is written so often that it is now cliche, but Autistic people are statistically far more likely to be victims of hostility and violence, than be violent themselves.

I cannot count how many beatings I have endured because I was taught “never hit someone, and don’t hurt people.” My nose has been broken six times, so at least 6 beatings.

We believe stuff like that literally, and endure bullying and beatings because hurting people is wrong.

I hope you didn’t perceive that I was chastising you or speculating on who you are or what you think.

We are a very misunderstood people. You asked a question to try and understand Auristic people better.

Intended or not, it is an act of kindness that I respect and appreciate.

I hope I have answered your question, thank you for asking.

Be Well

People now a days are very much health conscious. I see young boys, girls, college going students, uncles, aunties, senior citizens all go for walks, jogging, mobile pranayama (people do pranayama while walking, effects of Ramadev baba) in the morning and do lot other things.

Along with this many ladies and uncles steal the flowers from the gardens making lots of acrobatic actions to get the flowers from other side of compound walls. Some even use their walking sticks to reach to the plants. Some carry bags to carry these flowers.

This process of stealing flowers continues unabated from my garden and other gardens. These people are really not thieves in real life, some are officers, business men/women, housewives, and even children who follow the footsteps of elders.

When I asked one gentleman, doesn’t he feel ashamed to steal the flowers from someone’s garden? In turn he asked me, there are so many flowers, if I take couple of flowers, that makes no difference to your garden. His reply stunned me. He doesn’t know that there are many people who think like this and disappear with flowers.

Other day when I asked one lady why she can’t stop stealing flowers? She told me that she uses these flowers for worshiping the God and so owners also use for the same purpose, finally these flowers are used for worshipping the God whether I use or you use. God is one. I appreciated her logic but her attitude bewildered me and made me go mad.

Stealing of flowers from my garden from these health conscious educated thieves makes me go mad.

Another day, another shame!!!

A 13 year old girl, decided to go for a fair in Biramitrapur in Orissa on 25th, March.

But due to sudden lockdown, the fair got cancelled and she got stuck over there.

While she was eagerly waiting for a vehicle at the bus-stop for a quite long time.

She was spotted by the patrolling police and was taken to the Biramitrapur police station.

She didn't knew what was coming into her way….

And to surprise, the police incharg, Anand Chandra Majhi, himself raped her repeatedly in the police station and the next morning she was dropped to her home.

But these sordid things didn't ended there….

Every now and then she was summoned to police station and was raped.

Brutality was then justified, when she became pregnant due to all these happenings and was taken to a local hospital for abortion.

Cops and her own stepfather took her to the hospital and the abortion was performed with no humanity on a 13 years old child.

Thankfully a activist who came to know about the cringe took the responsibility and filed a case against the cops, doctor and the father.

After abortion the girls health deteriorated and she is now taken care at Rourkela government hospital.

Anand Chandra Majhi was suspended for dereliction of duty. Majhi was accused of allegedly raping, impregnating and then forcefully terminating the pregnancy of the minor survivor.

The policeman has stained his uniform.

He has committed a sin for which his throat should be slitted with blades.

After reading all this in the news, I was abashed. If I ever landed into a problem would I ever approach a policeman??

It is inhumane, uncultured.

He should be punished.

The most heart breaking thing is that, her own father was a part of this heinous act.

He should be the pillar of her world but he is the termite of her dreams.

RAPE, PREGNANCY, ABORTION all came along her way at the age of 13 just because she went to see a nearby fair all alone!!!

Police station where one is supposed to be protected, was raped!!

I seek justice for the poor child!!!

This brutality have to end one day, it's high time that our law lady should open her eyes and chain all these dogs.

Dogs hungry for flesh of a living being 🤬

Support a cause, come forward and raise your voice!!!!

#rape #justice #staineduniform #orissarapecase #socialcause #shame #majhi #AditeeSingh

So if you label someone as “hostile” are you asking if they are going to label you as “rude” in return?

Bottom line, if you label anyone as being negative and calling it out to them you risk them labelling you as anything in return. Maybe, in their opinion, you are being rude or hostile when asking them why they are hostile. Maybe you are being moronic because you should know full well why they are angry. Their perspective matters too.

Only call people’s behavior out like that when it seems necessary and be prepared to overlook their natural response to “label” you back unless you are actively looking for a fight.

I'm actively opposed to quite a few different people and thing's because of the way life gets worse when they have their hands on the control switch that's called law's and life, those who try to write laws and regulations which usually gets passed are the completely wrong people to be in that kind of power, they decide that they don't like something and just like that it's made illegal or it goes up to debate and they amend it a little bit and then it's a new law, and if you look at the people who do that and their backgrounds it's usually someone with some very nasty skeletons in the closet, they control certain laws and they are the biggest criminals there are, they were just able to hide their indiscretions and their crimes by paying someone to make it disappear, and that's who decides the laws we must abide by whether we like it or not, so I'm actively opposed to most of those people because I had some issues when I was a kid nothing serious just minor crimes for fights and I've lost so many of my rights because of it, but those people who wrote these laws have been involved in major crimes and they get to be in office because of it wow that's a lousy thing to realize, so I strongly oppose those one's and always will, but other than that I am strongly opposed to any hate crimes because of race, Creed, color, or sexual orientation because everyone deserves to be treated with respect and decency no matter what, then I'm opposed and extremely hostile towards any person that commits violent acts towards women, kids, men who can't defend themselves, or anyone really because there's no need for that to happen to anyone, there's so many bad people in the world who don't care who they hurt and how they do it, but I always say to them imagine if someone did that to someone you truly care about, you'd probably go nuts and want to get to them as fast as possible, when they answer yes they would to me, I say the person you hurt might be feeling that way too but can't do anything about it, so why would you do that to them and think about that for a while because you might learn to be a decent person and start thinking about it before you go after someone, and they know what I mean so it gives them something to think about for a while and eventually it gets under their skin and they hopefully change their ways, but those are some things I'm actively opposed to there's more I'm sure but that it for now.