I can’t control what other people think about me.
Their opinions, fantasies, and lies belong to them — not to reality.
So here are the facts about my disability, my history, and my support needs.
1. My incontinence and toileting issues are lifelong and documented.
People online say I “never needed diapers until 2015.”
That is simply false.
1992–1993 mental health records (age 7–8):
- documented bowel and bladder accidents
- strict routines
- still had accidents
- hospital took me out of diapers during the day only
- parents wanted me out of diapers
Ages 10–12:
- parents took me out of diapers again
- still had accidents
- grades dropped
- behavior worsened
- teacher put me back in diapers because she was tired of cleaning messes on the floor
- group home removed diapers and got mad at the teacher
1999 (age 12):
- parents put me back in diapers full‑time
- caseworker told my dad to embarrass me in public to “train me”
- dad sang “I’m the diaper man” in the grocery store
- caused severe depression and hospitalization
2002 mental health hospitalization:
- diapers
- DDAVP
- bladder accidents
- fecal smearing
- poor hygiene
- rashes
- mental health staff wrongly labeled it a “fetish” because of my parents’ claims
These are medical records.
Not opinions.
Not rumors.
Not something I invented as an adult.
2. My school and medical records show lifelong disability — not faking.
From 1992 to 2005, my records describe:
- communication challenges
- difficulty expressing myself
- trouble organizing thoughts
- social interaction problems
- not knowing how to make friends
- preference for younger kids
- repetitive behaviors
- atypical movements
- fine motor problems
- visual and auditory processing issues
- speech delay
- slow processing speed
- slow working memory
- severe learning disabilities
- hygiene problems
- body odor
- toileting issues
These are not things someone can “fake” for 30 years.
3. Autism absolutely affects friendships and social understanding.
Autism makes it harder to understand:
- relationships
- social rules
- how to make friends
- how to read cues
- how to respond in the moment
That is a core diagnostic feature of autism — not a personality flaw.
I am friendly.
I do care about people.
I just communicate differently and need support.
4. My hygiene and safety needs are lifelong and real.
If I could shower independently, I wouldn’t get:
- rashes
- fungal infections
- skin breakdown
With caregiver help, these problems improve.
Without help, they come back.
If I could cross the street safely, cars wouldn’t honk or stop for me.
If I could shop independently, I wouldn’t buy 15 boxes of the same food and forget essentials.
If I could stay on routine alone, I wouldn’t need reminders all day long.
These are disability‑related needs — not choices.
5. My independence today exists BECAUSE of support, not because I don’t need it.
Today I:
- go to the laundromat with my caregiver
- carry baskets
- load the washer and dryer
- follow step‑by‑step instructions
- wash dishes
- hang up clothes
- put away laundry with help
- follow a daily routine
- shower with support
- clean with support
This is what supported independence looks like.
If I didn’t need help, I wouldn’t need:
- step‑by‑step instructions
- tasks broken down
- reminders
- sequencing support
- visual schedules
- caregiver supervision
- hygiene assistance
My progress is because of support — not because I’m “faking.”
6. My emotional regulation challenges are lifelong and documented.
At ages 7–8, I had:
- wandering
- elopement
- head banging
- biting
- throwing things
- meltdowns
At ages 13–19, the same issues.
At age 35, still the same issues.
If I could regulate myself, I would.
These behaviors happen when:
- routines break
- sensory overload happens
- communication fails
- I’m neglected
- I’m overwhelmed
- I’m in pain
- I’m unsupported
This is disability — not choice.
7. If I could do everything myself, I wouldn’t have health problems.
If I could:
- shower
- clean
- eat
- drink
- take medication
- stay on routine
- manage hygiene
- stay safe
…then I wouldn’t have:
- rashes
- fungus
- infections
- dehydration
- blood pressure issues
- weight changes
- injuries
- behavioral crises
These problems happen because I cannot do these things alone, not because I’m choosing not to.
8. Final question: How am I “faking” a disability that has been documented since age 7?
If I were faking:
- my records wouldn’t match across decades
- my hygiene problems wouldn’t return when I try to do things alone
- my accidents wouldn’t be documented in childhood
- my school wouldn’t report severe learning disabilities
- my mental health records wouldn’t describe developmental delays
- my caregivers wouldn’t need to redirect me all day
- my routines wouldn’t fall apart without support
- my safety issues wouldn’t be lifelong
You can’t fake 30 years of consistent documentation.
My disability is real.
My support needs are real.
My history is real.
And no amount of online denial changes that.
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