If so, why and how did you become a Marxist?
For me it was a combination of, on the one hand, the sort of cold hostility towards society that naturally arises with being forced to cycle on and off amphetamines and SSRI's since grade school + the general alienation that pervades spectacular society, and, on the other hand, a lifelong interest in history and the social sciences. Essentially, I found the materialist conception of history far more compelling and explanatory than whatever was offered by bourgeois thought, which usually ceases to be truly historical whenever it approaches one of its hallowed abstractions or concepts ("justice" ,"human rights", value, and especially bourgeois/commodity society itself) or generally just degrades into moralism or great man theory when faced with certain topics, mainly fascism. naturally, accepting the materialist conception of history means knowing that class conflict is endemic to capitalist society, which, commodity society having ascended to a state of global and total social hegemony over the past centuries, leaves us only one real choice for the future: socialism or barbarism.
Like seriously, liberals cannot give a coherent account of fascism or human rights beyond le evil racist authoritarians and "human rights follow naturally from the idea of Justice" (John Rawls Btw).
surprisingly, shame has very little to do with it, as in I don't feel any guilt for being privileged or whatever. Really being bourg has probably made me more hostile to commodity society in general, in that you cant fall into the copium--promoted pretty much everywhere--that money or accumulating commodities will make you happy. it wont. What the capitalist economy deprives us of--meaning, personal and historical agency, and fulfilling social relations--cant be bought with money. you cant buy your way out of commodity fetishism/alienation, only more commodity slop, which tbf can be pretty cool at times.
