There was stress but it was latent stress and I could avoid it by mentally checking out on the couch for hours. It was deenergizing, not because I was tired but because without people or structure doing things became tiring.

I got very, very good at cooking, years of my life evaporated like smoke, a friend got PTSD from working in an ER. My brain has mostly edited out the bad parts so now I sometimes miss the wierd silence even though it was hell

Like I posted a picture of a dinner I made and someone thought I’d broken quarantine and gone to a nice restaurant. I lost that skill after having a kid and that’s the thing I really miss lol

The other thing about having kids at the time is that for most parents fear/stress about your own or others’ health is extremely different than fear about your child’s health and wellbeing.

My job was very suited for WFH, and my team actually got hit with a prolonged bout of high workload for most of 2020. My work-life balance suffered, but I also developed a certain mastery in that particular type of work. I got a lot of recognition and a chonky raise during it. 1/?

I was kept a touch too busy to really worry about the isolation, while, at the same time, working late some days meant there was a LOT of leeway to go, "I know it's 2PM, but I worked til 10 last night and I need to go get groceries." And I got to shop in a practically empty store 2/?

with the perfect excuse to stay feet away from the few people I saw, with a mask hiding me from the obligation to do more than nod from a distance. Then, days I didn't have to work late involved quiet, solitary evenings doing whatever I wanted. 3/?

As a high functioning introvert living in a small but luxury apartment at the time, I was stressed and worried but also weirdly thriving. Then, at the very start of Dec 2020, I caught COVID. It never got into my chest, so I never felt close to hospitalization, but 4/?

I was so horribly, wretchedly brainfogged I only now, in retrospect, realize how very close to redlining my system I got, by myself in that apartment. I got the two weeks paid COVID leave, and I'd already put in for two weeks Xmas/NewYear leave. A whole month which I spent in recovery 5/?

I was so bad off, my boss required me to log in briefly three times a week for video chat wellness checks. It took three weeks before I was strong enough to walk downstairs from my third floor apt. And I developed Long COVID. The brainfog still hasn't fully gone away. 6/?

I am simply not as smart as I was in November 2020, anymore. Despite grabbing the vaccine and staying up to date and continuing avoidance protocols, I have since also caught Delta (just as bad), Omicron, and possibly two other unconfirmed minor variants. I'm a COVID magnet 7/?

I have since moved on to a better, higher paying job that is still WFH. But despite medication that prevents The Stupids version of brainfog for me, my executive function remains so wrecked that I sometimes go weeks without doing anything for my job, then rush to catch up...if I can 8/?

So, while my lockdown experience wasn't great; it was the last time I was WELL. I have been sick for five fucking years straight. I spend entire work weeks screaming in my head to just DO SOMETHING and can't manage it. All my PTO goes to the days I can't cover for or can't sit upright, now. 8/?

Look, I just messed up the count/numbering of the post above, only nine posts in. That is the life I have lived since the COVID lockdown - no medical answers, just my doctors doing my best at trying whatever we read about online. And I am only aware of my situation because of how bad it is. 10/?

So grateful my kids were in high school at the time and we lived a short bike ride to the beach.

That had its own problems. Our oldest was in her senior year so missed prom, end of her lacrosse season, in person graduation, and I think just the past year overcoming some of the interpersonal setbacks caused by that.

Everybody was drinking/smoking/vaping on zoom calls back then. I burned through Netflix. I used to be a public school teacher so I was used to being with kids like 8-9 hrs a day. But not 24 hrs a day. I think parents were drinking solo too.

Long naps. You left out long naps.

Yeah, I think your own experience here might be coloring things for you man. Vulnerable populations weren’t happy about isolation, there were grandpas hugging kids through fucking tarps… I was glad to have said superdole so I could take care of my mom and my daughter. I liked the SAFETY of the net.

I think this is why the pandemic is so warping in a way. People had wildlu different experience. Lots of people did have an experienfe like wills and lots of people didnt.