Trump: "Yello."
Sharif: "President Trump, my good man! How is the greatest peacemaker of our time doing today?!"
Trump: "Sharif, I love you, you're a great man. But I'm already suspicious. This feels like some shit I'd pull right before I scam someone."
Sharif: "No, of course not. No scams. We're here to make peace! Iran is gonna give you EVERYTHING! Literally everything."
Trump: "As I expected."
Sharif: "Indeed. We are going to host their party tomorrow. And while there, they're gonna give up literally whatever you want. They're gonna make Marco Rubio the Supreme Leader."
"Uh-huh. Right. Sounds good."
"And all you need to do... is agree to a real ceasefire. With no blockade."
"Absolutely the fuck not. Damn it, Sharif. You're not scamming me!"
"FUCK! That totally worked on Ghalibaf. But what if... okay, hear me out. I really need help here, man."
"Okay."
"What if you agreed to a ceasefire where you like... didn't really cease fire?"
"That is just funny enough to be worth my time. And I keep my blockade?"
"You blockade the shit out of them. But we call it like... a ceasefire."
"A ceasefire that we establish because Iran is understandably quite fractured and needs time to agree to terms amongst themselves!"
"Fuck, that's good."
"Sharif. You could learn a thing or two from me. Nobody hustles like me. You can't hustle a hustler. If the libs wouldn't use it against me, I'd write Art of the Hustle!"
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Derek. 
@SuitablePolitic
Sharif: "Ghalibaf, my good man. I have great news! The Americans have surrendered!"
Ghalibaf: "They—what? That doesn't make any sense. Are you hustling me?!"
Sharif: "No. No. No. Of course not. I would never think so highly of myself as to scam a man as discerning as you. The x.com/SuitablePoliti…