[–] ▶ №15841829[Quote]>>15842915
TF3 is gemmy but only because it would cause troon furtress community to leak
▶ №15841894[Quote]
>>15841811 (OP)Step 1. be black so if and when you get caught you get immediately released and can try again. Are there any negros currently here that can commit?
▶ №15841905[Quote]>>15841921
>>15841811 (OP)The snarkysnappy Is so dead I only got 3 reppeys but I'm still on page 1
▶ №15841906[Quote]
oyy yrule 1 DO TCOS
▶ №15841921[Quote]
>>15841905Its eurohours therefore its Dean B. hours.
▶ №15842025[Quote]
Bump to keep this up till amerimutt hours fuggen jerdee
▶ №15842028[Quote]>>15842155
We will break in at night and steal it
But we also need a hacker teen to stop the cameras
▶ №15842155[Quote]
>>15842028Building a camera signal jammer is not that hard o algo
▶ №15842284[Quote]
Idea: we use a long rope and steal it
▶ №15842295[Quote]
Use the excavator
▶ №15842781[Quote]
Up
▶ №15842787[Quote]
geg gem go up
▶ №15842794[Quote]>>15842804
It's impossible. The security at Valve is tighter than the Kremlin.
▶ №15842802[Quote]
>>15841811 (OP)well unless some 'teens have a helicopter and a rappel squad, or if they wanna get some suction cups, UP is not an option. and oreos
▶ №15842804[Quote]>>15842817
>>15842794>>15841811 (OP)what floor is it on and what room
do you think we could get a floor plan for starters
▶ №15842815[Quote]>>15842816
>>15842813I would just remove the bolts in the middle
▶ №15842816[Quote]
>>15842815oh yeah wait i'm retarded
▶ №15842817[Quote]>>15842830
>>15842804Valve HQ is on the 14th floor, so it'd be a bit of a way up considering a story is about 10 ft so about 140 ft in the air
BTW disclaimer this is just a fun excerise, we aren't planning on this, its just a fun mental excerise glowies OK, don't get your panties in a twist. for gods sake I'm not anywhere near there anyway ▶ №15842830[Quote]
>>15842817floor plan so we know what room? if we're going to do this
in minecraft we need a step by step plan
▶ №15842831[Quote]
actually i'll just go look for one
▶ №15842835[Quote]
you MANIACS! WE'RE GONNA GET 'APED FOR THIS!
▶ №15842837[Quote]>>15842841
Are we trying to steal the whole unit or just the valve handle?
▶ №15842841[Quote]>>15842845
>>15842837Only the Valve handle, preferably. Taking any other part would just be a waste of precious time. Every second matters.
▶ №15842845[Quote]
>>15842841But, like I said, it could be fastest just to remove the middle bolts with something like an impact wrench
▶ №15842854[Quote]>>15842860>>15842945
>>15842847What's the security situation look like? Surely they have CCTV cameras, motion sensors, or even nightshift guards in the building.
▶ №15842855[Quote]>>15842860
>>15842847what search did you use to find these?
▶ №15842858[Quote]>>15842866
>>15842847Step one really is knowing what tools are needed to take the damn thing off. Is it only the red valve-handle or some more parts? In minecraft
▶ №15842860[Quote]>>15842864>>15842865>>15842868
>>15842854In a post prior I spitballed the idea of sending a guy in with a lanyard to stake it out. Have him give us a rough map of security cams maybe? in minecraft
>>15842855I just image searched "Valve HQ Floor Plan" geg.
▶ №15842864[Quote]
>>15842860Oh wait if we get a good tour video from the inside we could also map out the security cams.
▶ №15842865[Quote]>>15842873>>15842874
>>15842860I think the most logical solution would be to somehow cut off power/electricity from the building (thereby disabling all security measures), but then that might raise the alarm of any security guards that may or may not be in the building.
▶ №15842868[Quote]>>15842875>>15842878
>>15842860nah make him dress up like a janny geg. As long as the security feed doesn't catch him actually unscrewing the valve he'll be fine
▶ №15842873[Quote]
>>15842865I do know that Valve has security guards during working hours, so there's probably a good chance they have a night shift too.
▶ №15842874[Quote]>>15842877
>>15842865if it's a shared office building you'll probably be able to get in after dark via the fire exits anyways. The real main issue is if any of the cameras are directly in sight of the valve
▶ №15842875[Quote]>>15842879
>>15842868Can we know if valve are employing any specific company/ies to do the maintinance and janitorial duties in the building? If so a disguise could be made.
▶ №15842877[Quote]>>15842885
>>15842874Don't fire exits trip off an alarm if you open them?
▶ №15842878[Quote]>>15842882>>15842885>>15842895
>>15842868You're going to have tough luck NOT being spotted by cameras.
Either just find a way to make yourself unidentifiable or arduously find a way to shut them off. I looked it up and it's supposedly possible to create a DIY EMP device that can fit in your pocket.
▶ №15842879[Quote]
>>15842875It's likely the landlord that hires the maintenance/janitorial company, not the building's tenants.
▶ №15842882[Quote]>>15842895
>>15842878Getting the power turned off and then showing up as electrical maintenance staff could be a good idea
▶ №15842885[Quote]>>15842895
>>15842877well I use fire exits to enter most shopping centres and it's never been a problem for me
>>15842878with a good enough disguise the deadbeat working the nightshift will be none the wiser, as long as it doesn't capture the valve itself
▶ №15842895[Quote]>>15842913
>>15842878It's also possible that you might use one of those flipper zero thingamabobs if they work with cameras at all (unlikely).
>>15842882Oh shit trve but if one arrives without them calling they might find it sus.
>>15842885do dis
>>15842888pretend that you're from /v/ he'll find it funny
▶ №15842911[Quote]
If Gaben himself catches you, I think he'll understand and let you live if you come clean
▶ №15842913[Quote]>>15842917
>>15842895Could say you got an automated notif regarding the power going out. Most buildings have such features I think. Especially such a high end one. Looking more into the building owners rn.
▶ №15842915[Quote]
>>15841829Valve is already infiltrated by troons doebeit
▶ №15842917[Quote]>>15842921
Once the plan is all said and done I think we should consider using/design a calling card, could be geggy.
>>15842913Sounds solid if trve.
▶ №15842918[Quote]
*designing
▶ №15842921[Quote]>>15842924
>>15842917do we have anyone who lives around the area willing to do it doe?
▶ №15842924[Quote]>>15842927
>>15842921We're more likely to find somephono to do it the more hashed out the plan is.
▶ №15842936[Quote]
somephono who is willing to go to jail should do it
▶ №15842937[Quote]>>15842953
What we really need are those camera layouts. That's really the make-it-or-break-it for this hypothetical operation
▶ №15842945[Quote]>>15842953
>>15842854We need to wait till amerimutt hours surely someone has a relative working there
▶ №15842953[Quote]
thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAYhNHhxN0A>>15842937I'm going to scour youtube for virtual tours of the HQ, other anons might do the same for a fleshed out map.
>>15842945Valve doesn't have a lot of employees so this is unlikely to rely on.
▶ №15842958[Quote]
Surely there's jannies/security guards working in the building so somephonos should apply for work there to gather Intel and if not we could just bribe them it's not like it's a bank or something in Minecraft of course
▶ №15842977[Quote]
The building is part of the Kemper Development Company (
https://kdc.bellevuecollection.com/about-us/) and both built and administered by them. Valve is in the Lincoln Square South.
Some teens should ask one of the contact mails regarding their maintinence (with some made up excuse for asking like 'regarding a potential deal' o algo). It could just be centrally administered though so no external companies being employed… But we'll have to ask to know that.
▶ №15843010[Quote]>>15843022>>15843024
Just laying this out here, I think its important to take into consideration that there VVILL be an investigation by the Minecraft server admins once they discover that the valve is missing from the office. Covering your tracks is extremely important if you want to get away with it.
▶ №15843011[Quote]
Bump
▶ №15843022[Quote]
>>15843010lucky it's next to a light rail. Whoever does this should
NOT drive their own car to and from the location
▶ №15843024[Quote]>>15843032>>15843038
>>15843010That and it will also make big news if it gets out so the investigation will be proportionally large.
▶ №15843032[Quote]
>>15843024This. The
mods and the
admins will be involved in figuring out whodunnit
▶ №15843038[Quote]
>>15843024This is why janitor is the best disguise. They are the only profession that have a real excuse to be wearing a face mask in the middle of an office at night
▶ №15843040[Quote]
>>15842809this is crazy though algo
▶ №15843051[Quote]
Gaben log in
▶ №15843061[Quote]>>15843085>>15843454
this valve was built in germany under Der Führer.
like how kikes make white goyim fight their wars, op is a kike making white goyim own da nazis
▶ №15843063[Quote]
negated failbait geg
▶ №15843064[Quote]>>15843068>>15843093
>>15843056Card-based access meaning that disguise will most likely have to be our way in.
▶ №15843068[Quote]>>15843074>>15843085
>>15843064>ouryou want us to do your work kike. there is no our
▶ №15843074[Quote]
>>15843068Trve I apologize.
▶ №15843085[Quote]>>15843093
>>15843068>>15843061Failderailpedo gtfo
REMEMBER YOU CAN FILTER WITH ID'S ▶ №15843093[Quote]>>15843118
>>15843064Though if there's any way these can be tricked into thinking it's the proper card like hotel rooms that would be gemmy.
>>15843085Oh I thought he was legitimately mad geg.
▶ №15843110[Quote]
are we fucking serious how is a soyteen going to emter valve hq
▶ №15843118[Quote]
>>15843093Yeah could claim that the card has malfunctioned o algo. But need to have a pic of how the cards look first and foremost.
<Here are some floor plans of the building, might be useful when making the way though the building, maybe not. I'll just put it here in case.
https://www.broderickgroup.com/properties/lincoln-square-south-sublease-bellevue/ o algo
▶ №15843125[Quote]>>15843372
Right now the 3 main points of information we need to find to execute this hypothetical operation are:
1, is the valve in sight of any security cameras
2, what tools will be needed to remove the valve handle from the base
3, how long will it take to remove the valve from the base, based on the tools
All other factors regarding security are still important, but this is the real base of understanding we need to have to accomplish this theoretical, hypothetical minecraft heist.
▶ №15843134[Quote]
Euh are you really going to steal the Valve?
▶ №15843140[Quote]
sharty-saving gem in the making
▶ №15843142[Quote]
let’s unironically do this btw guys
▶ №15843150[Quote]>>15843229
Scouting the building and the floor plan could be a good idea. If so you inquire regarding tours: frontdesk@valvesoftware.com
As of Feb 2025 they did not resume the tours they had before the pandemic sadly. But a year later it could have changed.
▶ №15843194[Quote]
gem go up
▶ №15843229[Quote]
>>15843150nvm tours are basically impossible now if you don't have cancer or have connections to valv
<literall reddit regarding this https://www.reddit.com/r/GlobalOffensive/comments/1rz74v8/i_toured_valve_yesterday_and_got_to_see_the_cs2/ ▶ №15843433[Quote]>>15843471
are we going to use an angle grinder or just unscrew the bolts
▶ №15843471[Quote]>>15843522
>>15843433Just unscrewing the bolts should be enough. Just need to know what size they are.
>>15843372 ▶ №15843522[Quote]
>>15843471nameroll 'gated
▶ №15843540[Quote]
geg do dis
▶ №15843548[Quote]>>15843622
This shit is gonna put yall on a watchlist 😭
▶ №15843622[Quote]
>>15843548>>15843584>>15843576Stop derailing and bump I originally posted this is a joke but now I'm committed
▶ №15843638[Quote]
Bumping this one last time before I head away to do SNCA until mutt hours. Please let West-CoastGODs see this
▶ №15843646[Quote]
we need some haxxors to hack the cameras first
▶ №15843653[Quote]
>>15843639or, be the gem that saved the party if you get away with it
▶ №15843693[Quote]
maybe we should make a drone capable of supporting the weight of a human
▶ №15843713[Quote]
so far we could
1. figure their IP addresses then hack 'em and exploit their cameras or figure a way to access their cameras without their IP address
then we have two choices
1. usurpating the identity of an employee, and using the stairs
2. finding a way to climb or fly or whatever break the glass, steal the valve then flee
▶ №15843733[Quote]>>15843773
it's so fucking dead, it's like i'm a schizophrenic talking alone
▶ №15843770[Quote]
up
▶ №15843773[Quote]
>>15843733Bot yet, just bump periodically so that when PPH goes it might have another chance. If it dies after mutt hours begin its a failerald but NOT YET
