>WHO THE FUCK GAVE ME A real woman NAME KYS NOW

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  • Welcome back
I didn't use KiwiFarms when I was 16.
I got a perma because I dared to have fun on the Turkey Tom thread and soyduel with some guy about the allegations which is 100 percent disrespectful to ghost of Lidl Drip or whatever
It was a good duel too, he was making OC to fuel it, I was making OC to fuel it, it was fun times all around
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"To learn who rules over you, simply find out whom you are not allowed to criticize."
- Kevin Alfred Strom
 
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  • KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
Reactions: Refriman
January 31st, 2026: Saturday today. I woke up pretty late, only like 7:30am and had some more cereal plus I finally brewed myself coffee. I had that and went into my room to game and then spend more time finally transcribing my blog from June 1st to June 31st of 2025. It took quite a while of doing that and I had to check the archives for blog.soyjak.st and soyjak.forum to look for the comments of others to add. That took like 2 hours for the entire month and I had to go in and correct some errors I had. I got done at 12:30pm and then made ramen with 2 eggs dropped in for lunch. I grabbed my laundry including pillow and bedsheets and took them over to do 2 loads and got some of the Monkfruit RedBull on the 2 for $7 deal. I wrote for my Monday assignment and did some highlighting of The Last of His Kind, an article by someone named Nick White. I wrote a paper on that and then threw my stuff in the drier. I took it home after 20 minutes and folded most of it. I played some more Holdfast and then I took a walk. I made some of the shrimp stuff for dinner that my mom had left me, I then texted Lizzo at 6:05pm, officially going into double-texting territory because she was still not responding to a simple question I asked yesterday about doing something together on Saturday AKA today.
>Do you want to go or not?

<What is [Barcade]
>Barcade.
<A bar?
>Bar + Arcade
<Oh
<I can't drink
<Messes with my meds

>Oh, they have water.
<Do they have food
>Yes.
<Thats your kinda vibe?
>I know it’s there, do you want to do something else?
I was getting really fucking frustrated at her inability to fucking respond in a timely matter when I know she’s constantly on her phone, so I thought of a logical solution and called her. To my surprise she answered me, we discussed the details but she started talking about how one on one events really freaked her out but understood that she needed to get over it. She still thought I was living with Enosh but thank the Lord I wasn’t. We finally settled on after 12:00pm tomorrow, I got done and then messaged her for a written record to exist.
>2 or 3pm tomorrow.
I went back to gaming, playing some Holdfast when she texted me at 8:57pm royally trolling me:

<Hey so remember how I said I was with someone rn? Her boyfriend just broke up with her and she really needs help rn so I don't think I can do tomorrow
>Like it just happened right now?
<It happened before she came over to my apartment like an hour ago
You couldn’t have said this DURING the call? Should have confronted her about it.
>Ohhhhh, she came over unannounced?
>Wait who is this?

<Yeah her name is [censored]
>Ohhhh
>Don’t know her.

<Yeah she doesn't go to [college]
At this point, I looked through Lizzo's follow list and saw someone who matches her name, she was a skinny White goth girl with round glasses and it was hilarious how you could see her transition from normal human being to a liberal starting with the glasses and then the dyed hair, the sexual degeneracy, and the bald hair woman friend who would keep insane asylums economically solvent if they still existed, I didn't follow her.
>Where does she go?
>Is she still there?

<Doesn't go to school and yes
<She wants to sleep over
<Yeah no joking she is crying bad rn

>Oh shit how long were they together?
<Almost 2 years
>Holy canoli. I hope she recovers.
<Yeah me too
<Anyways fuck owen for dumping her

>Did Owen just discard [censored] for a new girl like the douchebag he sounds like.
<Yep and you wanna know what's so funny
<She looks like [censored] and has the exact same vibe

>Wait what do they look like?
<Glasses and short hair
<Wears a lot of sweaters
<Goth kinda vibe almost?

>Lol I mean the new girl, I already found [censored]’s instagram.
<That's kinda weird
>Sorry
I have no idea why I apologized, she wouldn’t be any less mad at me and I’d just be punished as much, Lizzo works on a stick with no carrot mentality like most other people I know, where the carrot is in person social interaction.
<Dont feel too bad about it or anything but that's just a lot yk
<Like were you trying to prove she was real?
<Nevermind
<I'm just saying that is kinda unusual

>I guessed she’s real. I was bored.
She stopped responding after that point. I saw from the Guatemalan's private Instagram there was a debacle between her and Montana over something and she made it sound like Montana was coming onto her despite still having a boyfriend, I asked her that I want to see the cats and she sent me these images:

1770001605874.jpeg 1770001605908.jpeg 1770001605940.jpeg 1770001605990.jpeg 1770001606050.jpeg

I’ve developed a model of others where people are just obstacles at this point, they make your life more miserable and get in your way to fuck you over. What happens when you overcome the obstacle? You just have one less thing in your way, no solving a complex and beautiful rubik’s cube for a piece of candy, just one more person who treats you like shit without regards to friend-enemy distinction and leaves you with nothing. This is absolutely gonna look immature in a couple years or the eyes of others who torture themselves reading this. To those who aren’t pariah-marked or future me who finally found people who appreciate you as much as you appreciate them, I’m very sorry.

Song of the Day: Orange Blossom Special - Ervin T. Rouse, Gordon Rouse (1939)
 
  • Wholesome
Reactions: Goot
February 1st, 2026: I had a dream, so basically there’s this old childhood friend of mine whom I will be calling Wilkerson, he and I went to school together and was in a friend group with Dean and I, anybody who went to high school with him would groan and go:
“Oh jeez not this guy!”
Well I had a dream that there was 4 friends of Wilkerson’s that I was hanging out with, 2 girls and 2 guys. They eventually go cold on me and then this one person in a private conversation starts accusing me of doing something at Kohl’s a month ago and I knew they were lying straight through their teeth because I haven’t been to Kohl’s in years. Later they drove to this event without me and it turns out they all died in some violent car crash, it was absolutely hilarious but I never got into any fight. I haven’t talked to Wilkerson ever since. I woke up at 8:00am and made myself coffee and cereal. I got dressed for church in a suit and cyan tie. I walked over at 9:50am and got there by 10:00am to get in line for confession behind Bernarda. I did and confessed to anger (over Lizzo being stubborn) and was told to pray 3 minutes for her, I did that and then asked Kristine if I could read and I had the choice of the first or second readings. I chose Zephaniah 2:3; 3:12-13:

2.
☛3 Seek the LORD, all you humble of the land, who do his commands; seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you may be hidden on the day of the wrath of the LORD.
3.
☛12 For I will leave in the midst of you a people humble and lowly. They shall seek refuge in the name of the LORD,
☛13 those who are left in Israel; they shall do no wrong and utter no lies, nor shall there be found in their mouth a deceitful tongue. For they shall pasture and lie down, and none shall make them afraid.”

I was complimented on my outfit by Markus and saw Frociaggine and Elijah acolyting. Markus' brother told me on Tuesday one of the candles for the stations of the cross exploded. I took note of all the other people there: Kalifornia, Kristine, Magdalus, Cronstedt, Sixes and his friend, the Honduran, Kaufman, Luigi, Seraphim, Jade, Angela’s friend and her friend. I went up and did the first reading and then went back down and then the psalm, the second reading, and finally we arose to hear the gospel. The homily was criticizing us for being selfish and how living in the college dorms keeps us selfish as we don’t have to take out the trash (kinda, I had to carry my garbage to the garbage chute) and having others clean up messes outside the apartment. I was inspired to call my grandpa later today. I got the Eucharist and went back (Jade sat next to me) and at the end I saw Alley and Oriang waiting outside. I got some breakfast (lunch for me) and sat with the Honduran, Markus, Markus’ brother, and Kaufman. The Honduran mentioned his Napoleonic era shield he had in his car. The topic shifted to the game store I went to and I mentioned the real women that go there. The Honduran told me that one time he went to this game store in Mequon and he saw this gigantic real woman who was wearing a huge cinderella-esque dress but a darker shade of blue, he had a noticeable stubble that made the Honduran leave. I laughed so hard. I went to the grocery store at 12:00pm to buy 4 grapefruits and a 9 pack of toilet paper. I walked all the way home and put the stuff away. I forgot to wash my bath towel so I filled the tub with hot water and baking soda to let it get a clean and then hang it up to dry. I had one grapefruit for myself. At 2:28pm, I called my grandpa but he didn’t respond. James came back and I just continued playing Holdfast on my computer, I told my roommate to just put my towel on my rack when he would go to take a shower. I worked on my Saint Augustine introductory thesis due on Tuesday and got that completed. I was going to go to the cookoff but didn’t have time and the bus passed me when the bus driver saw me running to the bus stop, I swear the bus service has gotten worse since the start of the year. While making dinner I got a call from my grandpa asking me how I was doing. I told him that up here we got a severe windchill 2 weeks ago and I had to work online but did nothing. He told me that they watered the oranges down near Tampa Bay, Florida to keep them from being damaged but they instead froze over. He talked about the Great Blizzard of 1978 where there was so much snow that the roads took long to get paved, he said Fort Wayne didn’t have the power go out thankfully. I told him when my graduation would be and he was thankful, I also told the rest of the family via text. While browsing KiwiFarms, on Null’s talk page some guy named National Defense Advocate posted this and got a visible ban with the red text through:
<Reposted random shit I posted award+didn't even get hella updoots like I did award
Some other people replied:
#FF0000:

<pfffft
Travis Touchdown (REAL)
<green reddit moment
And my critical post:
>Next time don't bait Null when he's clitty leaking.
I found out a short time later I was banned for a week with the message:
<You have been banned for the following reason: Mind your manners.. Your ban will be lifted on Feb 7, 2026 at 5:00 AM.
It made me rape up so much. I finished up the writing assignment, I took a shower, and then posted my post for yesterday and got to #1,000 posts in my soyjak.forum thread, and went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Sing, Sing, Sing - Benny Goodman (1937)
 
February 2nd, 2026: Woke up for work this morning. I walked to the bus stop after breakfast and got polished up for the meeting at the start. I read my Rapper cousin’s long Instagram stories and here’s what happened:
<Woke up to a naked girl in my living room casually working on her laptop When I asked who she was/who's friend she was, she said my
rooommate let her in and that she's "not breaking in or anything"
<So then I went and talked to my roommate and found out the girl was lying, nobody let her in She wasn't anyone's friend, nobody knew who she was She even gaslit me and made me feel like an asshole for inquiring why she was naked in my living room
<She took off out the patio door (which we think she busted to get in), hopped onto my neighbor's patio, broke his window and went inside
<This girl made her self at home lol She literally spent the night at our place, showered, ate our food, nobody noticed till this morning when my roommate got home and found a naked girl sleeping on the couch in her room
<Happy February I guess lol Shout out to being fully naked in other people's homes
<And to make matters worse! She stole my bar of soap lol
<Completely busted our patio door Which explains how she broke in
<So after she left through the same patio door that was busted, she climbed over to my next door neighbor's patio and started banging on his door
<PLOT TWIST Just learned this is an ex girlfriend of my neighbor
<Okay I just talked to my building manager, apparently she followed a car into our garage (while the gate was open) and then asked a resident to let her up to the fifth floor
<Recap: Stripped naked onto our patio Busted our patio door Raided our pantry Had herself a bubble bath Used my ENTIRE FUCKING BAR OF SOAP Curled up and fell asleep in my roommate's room
<She left our apartment this morning out of this door Climbed onto neighbor's patio (Remember ex lover)
<In a manic state she turned his fireplace on and attempted to light his couch on fire
<But apparently she was only successful in lighting a pillow on fire In which… And I can't make this up…
<She threw a flaming pillow off the roof
<The lighting is different but I can confirm it's a matching set
<Cops show up Very quickly I might add Cuz apparently this has been happening for weeks and not the first time they were called on her
<She hit the cop (according to my building manager) Was taken out in cuffs And now has a felony charge against her for B & E and resisting arrest
<According to my neighbor (ex lover) She used to be doing really well, business owner, yoga instructor, born and raised in LA Their falling out was a few years ago
<Over the past couple years she started doing meth, she's been in and out of rehab Recently she reached out to my neighbor (former lover) for help and he lended a hand But that welcome didn't last long when she started "breaking his things" and "attacking his friends"
<She's unfortunately on the street And im here upset over a bar of soap
<Is there a moral to this story? Idk Don't do drugs? Be kind to people? Respect other people's boundaries? Idk Honestly the whole thing makes me really sad
<I just think it's eye opening to see how it happens You walk around LA and the drug use is insane And it's like how did this former business owner end up on the street?
<Apparently she just started hanging around the wrong people, one day someone offered her meth, she took it, she got addicted, her whole life crumbled before her very eyes
<That was a whirlwind of a story with a bittersweet ending, Thank you for listening
<I just wanna say... that this situation was absolutely crazy! and fully true... genuinely hilarious for me reporting it real time... but turned sad when I got the ending

Well the CEO was gone because he’s sick and the Latinx lady was joining us over Zoom, I joked:
“Why did she abandon us?”
And the Polish lady commented:
“That’s above your pay grade!”
I couldn’t hear her the first two times and then she asked me:
“Do you know what ‘above your pay grade’ means?”
I joked back:
“Yes, that’s why I’m asking for a raise now!”
She laughed but she cannot give me more money. The website guy announced that the Indian lady would be promoted to a full time job. I went to talk to Joy after the meeting to discuss our meeting for the Anime convention. She asked if 1:00pm or 2:00pm worked and I said not today so we agreed on 9:00am to 10:00am tomorrow. I went to make a new card for the Indian lady when I made it first. She told me that it had a streak on it and I remade it. When I made it the second time, the guy came over and told me I needed to drop her last name from it for legal reasons. I did that and brought it over to her. I asked her why they had to drop it and it was her name but legally she only had her first name as her name, she couldn’t get it changed when she was younger and as she got older it was harder legally. I was given a slip by Mauer which read:

<Fnu [first name] and 1121
And took it to the website guy. I passed Portia on the way back. I found out the SSPX is threatening to consecrate new bishops later this year because when they asked the Vatican for them to officially consecrate new bishops, they gave a non-answer. I told Edgar about this and he didn’t really give a response. In the drawers I found a bunch of cards for stuff like name, birthday, and home for this woman from South American whom I will be calling CAG, she was born February 2nd, 1978 according to the thing and I noticed the coincidence. I went over for lunch at 12:00pm. When ordering pizza, the Black guy with the braids seemed to be out of it and was blanking out at times. I went back and programmed for a bit until leaving to catch the bus. I walked to the class and I saw Chloie outside, Chloie told me her 25th birthday was on January 31st, I told her mine was last year, She’s from here and I got her Instagram. For the introductory question on our favorite piece of media, Female Satoko Houjou Fan said she enjoys reading in general, Naruhito’s favorite piece of media Fire Emblem for the GBA, Chloie loved the Theatre production of Les Mis, Malthus said I May Destroy You, Rokuhira said One Piece. I said my favorite movie was the Blues Brothers. We had a freewrite and here’s what I wrote:
>Sir Marcel knew it was his lucky day for him and his country. Today he would finally have the opportunity to kill the Emperor of the Heartland and plunge the empire into chaos. It didn’t matter if his son just became Emperor, the morale blow would be enough to gain his kingdom the upper hand, he snuck around the corner with his magical invisibility bracelet to see the throne room complete with…
>…a giant beating heart in the middle.
>It was embedded into the wall behind the empty throne, fleshy and alive. It made him understand why the Heartland empire’s flag looked like that, a heart in the middle on a white background with 8 shitoko around the edges and corners, the left half red and the right half purple. Its beating got faster and faster as Marce moved to intercept, he got within reach when he was flanked by two human-shaped creatures made of pure blood. Instead of killing them himself, like with most most rouges who dared question the empire and dragged him in front of an open, gigantic artery for the Heart to blast a high pressure stream of blood through Marcel’s head, adding him to the large list of failed enemies of the empire and his blood to the sprawling circulatory system of the Heart…

We didn’t break out into groups but Rokuhira said he wasn’t here last time due to being sick. I heard him say: “My gears are turning in my brain!”. When discussing the story The Last of His Kind, the teacher asked:
“How would this be different if it was set in some place like California?”
I immediately commented:
“Well there wouldn’t be any Ivory-Billed Woodpeckers so the writer would have to find another story.”
There was a good amount of laughter. I went to my other class afterwards and on the way, I encountered Pen Guy with Markus’ brother and Pen Guy remarked:
“You know this should be your intro song.”
He pulled up Theme from The Greatest American Hero (Believe It or Not) because it was playing. At class, I had a super tall real woman sit near me who looked like he was (sexually) inspired by Futaba Sakura from Persona 5 to start castrating himself. I still had no idea what was going on in class, I said hi to the South Korean so there’s that. I went home to play a lot more Holdfast and had ramen with 2 eggs for dinner. I grabbed one of the gloves to hold it while I peeled it. James came out and asked me why I did that and I told him that I washed it beforehand and to prevent burning. He was being kind of passive aggressive about it but I couldn’t care less. I took a shower and went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Haifisch - Rammstein (2009)
 
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February 3rd, 2026: Another day of more work. I prayed at the start of the morning and made 3 softboiled eggs with a grapefruit and coffee. I took the bus to work afterwards. I clocked in and sat next to Edgar again, setting up my programming environment. I waited for 9:00am exactly and I went over to Portia and Joy’s office for the meeting. I sat down with Joy and she told me the plan was not to do a cultural booth, but we would be doing a maid cafés history booth and the volunteers (Joy was told she could only get 4 people there at a time including her) in maid outfits. I thought they would make me dress up in a maid outfit in a humiliation ritual but she told me that I’d be dressing like a butler at one of those café’s. I questioned her why we would be doing this when the maid and butler outfits were inherently French in nature, she told me it’s just about the cafés. I suggested to her that she has the signs with the history to be in both English and Japanese. Portia told me she might be getting people to help out for Saturday and Sunday but she hasn’t gotten back from them. I got to work piecing together my outfit, I added a Japanese flag tie to the list of stuff I wanted her to buy for me. I went back to my spot at 9:20pm and continued “working” on programming. The Ukrainian man came over to talk with Edgar to talk about cars. Edgar continued his diatribe about Chrysler cars, he talked about the reason why Chrysler cars sucked and he said:
“They don’t serve the people buying their product.”
I added:
“Shareholders.”
And he then continued with what I said:
“... is who they serve.”
The Ukrainian man started talking about the ZAZ Zaporozhets cars that his grandfather used to own that the Ukrainian man would take rides in, he said there wasn’t much competition between car manufacturers in Soviet Ukraine. I went to get lunch again from the Black guy and he gave me water with ice in it when I requested for no ice. The old guy with the white hair told me I should get the Sicilian square slice pizza and I did. I got back at 12:30pm and saw the Rastafarian plus Wun Wun. Fives asked me for help with a screen display issue and I solved that for a treat of those weird rice crispie like things. I left at 1:15pm to take the bus to campus and followed along with Kaufman’s notes when I got there for what to read. Which was Book XI chapters 1 through 21 of The City of God. I got in there after completing that and all the people came in. Elijah was a bit late and Horseradish taught us about the story of his girlfriend in college having him pass off his work as hers for a class and she got an A. It's been 13 years since he completed his PhD and now his oldest kid is a teenager. I had the fat Hispanic girl with a lot of piercings in her face sit next to me and I talked with her a bit. After class, I asked her if she was free later to come to mass but she said she had work at Pick N Save. Fuck. I walked around and then hung out with Pen Guy, Mahdi, Markus, Markus’ brother, Mercurius the Salvation Army girl, plus a new girl who was joking with Markus about getting her pregnant. I joked back that she needs to get married now, he said they just had a brother sister like relationship and I replied:
“I’ve read A Game of Thrones.”
I made a joke with the Salvation Army girl in a weird tone and Pen Guy said I was looking like I was standing over someone’s bed about to murder them. I corrected him because I only murder people sleeping in cots because they just feel the need to be different. Markus said he'd be going on a date soon with this woman who turned out to be none other than Table #2, he joked that we had such a small young adult scene. I went to the bank to deposit some money and I encountered Agaw, and she told me there was a ballroom dance class that Bernarda was also in. I went to deposit my check and then walked to church with Mercurius but he gave up because my stride was longer. I got there and saw Knitter, I met her boyfriend also. I went downstairs and sat in between Sideburns and Nicodemus, all the other people there included Lewis and his girlfriend (she was looking back at me a few times,) Casta, Bernarda, Alley, Angela’s friend and her friend, Drawmija, Nash, Telemachus, Markus, Markus’ brother, Upsilon, Kaufman, Lorax, Agaw, Magdalus, Cronstedt, Gabriella, Kristine, Sixes and his friend, Amethyst, Stearns, Kalifornia, Danni, Luigi, Jade, and others. The homily was ok and mentioned that it was the feast of Saint Blaise of Sebaste. I was feeling kind of sick so this was absolutely needed. I went to get the throat blessing early and the priest put the two candles crossed in front of my throat (the first time was with the priest who served in Germany) and chanted:
“Through the intercession of Saint Blaise, bishop and martyr, may God deliver you from every disease of the throat and from every other illness. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
Tons of people got in line and I went upstairs to eat dinner. I stood near Amethyst where it was announced by Kristine that Amethyst’s birthday was soon, she turns 19 on Thursday. I talked with her for a bit and noticed she had a heart-shaped locket with a picture of her and her boyfriend. I got taco stuff and then went to sit with Telemachus and another guy who knew Joseph. Telemachus showed me a video of a ton of people in Italy doing the Roman salute. Telemachus talked about his French class he took which was the hardest. I left once I finished my meal and as I was doing that, Kaufman offered to take my stuff up for me and I thanked him. I encountered Lewis’ girlfriend and she said excuse me twice. When she came back I full named her including her two middle names, it felt fun. I left at the same time as Mercurius and went to the thrift store to see if I could find a butler’s jacket but got nothing. I went home, took a shower, published my blog, and went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Roddy - Djo (2019)
 
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February 4th, 2026: Classes after work. I had breakfast which was milk and cereal before heading out to work. At work today I did not have much to do. Staples came over to ask me to create a new ID card for LeJean. I used his old photo because his new one wasn’t that good at all. I handed it to Staples when I finished it off. Seth M was absent for a bit due to being sick. I browsed online looking for a butler suit jacket for my outfit and I found a bunch of options for around $60 but I knew Joy would say no. I found one full costume for 30 that had 2 5 star reviews, with both of them actually being negative. I finally found a decent one for $33 dollars and put it in the list of things to Joy to buy with her budget. Edgar had a class and I went over to get pizza at 12:00pm. I had the sausage, onions, and olives pizza plus 3 cheesesticks and Portia came over to get to-go pizza. I left and got back. I had Seth M come over and tell me that I needed to help set up Tia’s new printer. I encountered issues with the ethernet cord, I went to Seth M and he said he had a gigantic spool of the cord and a tool designed for creating it. Where you had to cut it, skin the black outer layer to reveal 8 wires which came in four colors: red, blue, green, and orange, in one of two states: solid or striped. I didn’t have much time but I found out Portia didn’t finish her pizza because she was full, if I didn’t have cheesesticks I would have asked for the rest of her pizza. I finally talked with Joy about the price range and she said $22 dollars roughly. I left and took the bus to class. I saw Soulknife on the bus but we only recognized each other when we were about to get off. She told me that she was going to work on campus and that if I was ever hosting D&D night again, she’d like to join, I told her about the Magic the Gathering draft event on Fridays but she had work then. She revealed to me that she was AroAce (double disability) and that her older sibling was real womaning out, she noticed me going a bit quiet when I said those. I kept my cool but she told me she’d visit my booth at the Anime convention. I left to get an energy drink, I stopped by at the busy and after coming out with my pineapple flavored energy drink, I spotted Chloie, I said hi to her and we chatted as we went on our way to our class. She threw out a bottle of aloe vera juice with some still left as we walked which irritated me a bit. She was a fan of anime but moreso manga and she would be attending the convention this year. Chloie is allergic to pineapple. I got in and we did a freewrite. I found out from the attendance question that Chloie reads a lot of Historical Fiction like Sarah’s Key. I went to my next class and said bye to Chloie. I had a bloody nose for most of my class but when I got back there was a short quiz with 5 minutes left and I completed it poorly. On the way back I bought two things of orange juice. At home I found a new humidifier in the and heated up leftovers my mom gave me for lentil soup. I finished it up and got on a call at 6:00pm with A10 and another group member. Nobody else joined so we ended it a bit early. I continued writing and didn’t go to Wednesday Eucharistic adoration because I was sick. I got into a text-fight with the Texan over my conversation with Margaret, here’s the convo:
>Reply to my reels I sent you.
<I have nothing to say
<Does your irls know your obsession with fat women

>No…
>I have grown attracted to some thinner women.
>Why do you ask?

<Because I’m nosy
<Interesting
<That’s nice

>Why?
>Aren’t you bigger?
>I asked for a thinner woman’s number and got it but she ghosted me?

<Sure but I’m losing weight and I have a boyfriend so I’m fine
<I think you’re just cooked

>This is like a shotgun shell to the chest.
<You’ll be okay
>[the entire conversation between me and Margaret uncensored]
<All you talk about is church
<You need to be more interesting
<Make a joke or something

>We meet at a Religious event dance.
<Okay and
>This happens even when I don’t mention religion at all.
>[conversation between me and a girl from Wausau]

<I hate when men say my name in a text so maybe that’s scarring them off
>You people complain about everything.
<“You people”
<I don’t complain about everything
<Just most things

>Bruh
An audio message of her saying:
“Okay. I just think that you need to have a more interesting conversation and let some of your personality out. Like this conversation, what I'm looking at is boring. Like what is she supposed to think about you? She's like oh this random man's asking me questions. No oh this funny man is I don't know.”
>The last time I let out my funny personality, your Jewish friend Maria threatened to beat me up.
<Okay she’s not Jewish
>She has the nose of one plus the enforcement of liberalism of one:
<And i thought you were funny at the time so who cares
<You’re gonna stop

>Is Maria reading this?
<No???
>Ok then why?
<You just said my friend has a Jew nose
<That’s rude

>Dude she threatened to beat me up…
<Did you ever stop and think maybe you deserve to get beat up???
<Also she was like 80% joking I think

>Yes and the answer’s no.
>Didn’t she take me 100% serious about me being an incel and Nazi.

<But you are both
<Not a Nazi
<But incel maybe
<Think again

>Why the fuck would I (a Catholic) be concerned about having pre-marital sex.
>Answers remain the same.

<Oh watch that mouth
<You’re still unable to get a girlfriend

>Wow. You people alternate between saying it’s not important to get a girlfriend and mocking people for not getting a girlfriend.
<I’m not mocking you
<I and I never said that’s not important
<Stop generalizing women

>You really think I’m that dummyed?
>I know you’re gonna pull the “it’s not important” card someday.

<I’m actually not??
<What are you on about

>I’m not talking about women, I’m talking about normies
<I would never say that’s because that’s dummyed
>>Mocks me >Calls you out for mocking me >”I’m not mocking you.”
<I’m not I was just pointing out an observation
<Normies bruh
<You’re normal you have friends and you go to church I don’t think it gets any more normal than that

>Is that all you do?
<No
<I like live my life

>I am a diagnosed autistic person plus the average person follows the secular “religion” of liberalism.
<I don’t think the second part is true
<Most people I come across are Christian
<Or catholic
<But mostly Christian
<But maybe that’s because i live in the south

>Do they attend church once a week?
<Yes
>Are you sure?
Another voice message which went:
“Or like even yesterday at work I was talking to Tabitha and she does to-gos and she's really good though. She likes shift lead even she does to goes but she never served mass. I was like Tabitha why don't you serve? She was like well I do but she said she doesn't because she won't sell beautiful alcohol because it says in the Bible something like basically saying that drinking alcohol is bad and she feels guilty for giving people alcohol because she knows that it's a sin or something like that.”
>Baptists are a bit mentally slow like the rest of the low church Christians.
>But Atheism is straight up dummyed.
>The thing that sucks about the Margaret girl I was talking about is that she’s gonna be at the next dance on this Saturday.

<I think both make sense
<I think it will be okay
<Maybe you’ll have a second chance
<
1770347526329.png
>I doubt it, but we did have a better connection in person.
AAAAND she stopped replying, not even reading it. I took a shower and mentally threw potted plants at the wall.

Song of the Day: Lothlórien - Enya (1991)
 
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February 5th, 2026: Thursday today. I woke up early and had cereal for breakfast. I got dressed and took the bus to work while sitting next to the Indian lady. We didn’t talk and I got inside. While inside I clocked in and got coffee with Zarith C and Tia in the breakroom. Zarith C added condensed milk to her coffee because she said it was really tasty, I tried some in my coffee and loved it. I got my computer set up for programming and Edgar came in, he gave me some fruit leather and continued to pretend to program. I had to help the Ukrainian man with replacing the older Ukrainian woman’s ink for her printer. Seth M wasn’t there so I did it mostly by myself. I heard that Ekhteyari came into the class. I went over for lunch at 12:00pm and got some pizza and went back while seeing the Polish lady talk to Edgar. While Lillehammer was talking with another worker in her department, she complained about a wifi issue and I instantly went over to solve it by switching to the guest wifi. I left at 1:00pm to catch the bus to college at 1:05pm and get to the career involvement fair. I ran over and went to see all the tables, like Stearns and then over to see Markus’ brother. I got a pina colada flavored Rockstar energy drink and visited another booth like an artist club, and then I went to get free popcorn. I walked to my class after and did the reading before class. I saw one girl who I described as Seraphim’s crush whom I will be calling Magdalene. She was doing the reading also and kicking her legs back and forth. There was discussion and I asked about Horseradish’s pareal woman saint and he just told me he likes Aquinas and Augustus, I asked about Magdalene’s pareal woman saint and she said she wanted to go with Saint Mary Magdalene because she likes her story, Markus’ brother is gonna choose Pope Saint John Paul II, this one art history major said she wasn’t confirmed yet, I asked her what her birthday was, she said February 8th and I told her she should choose Saint Josephine Bakhita. We got all in and the discussion was about the inherent evilness of things and if it truly exists or is just a corruption. I said Australian flesh eating viruses are satanic but professor Horseradish disagreed with me. Later on from a comment of the oldest lady in the class mentioning that she’s Horseradish’s mother. During a discussion, Horseradish used me as an example of someone who would be genetically predisposed to crime to advance an analysis of Augustine, I couldn’t stop laughing because I thought about Black people. I went up to write more and then went home. I got mac and cheese at a restaurant and went to a trivia event hosted by Swifte and Morgado. I got with Markus’ brother, Seraphim, and the Salvation Army girl’s team. We did extremely well compared to the other teams. I was the only one who completed the bonus spelling bee round, I got ‘Zephyr’ while others got harder words but I only remember ‘Chrysanthemum’ and ‘Pneumonia’. We were the only team to get the answer correct for first saint born in the United States (Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton), country with the most chocolate consumed (Switzerland). One question was which famous singer founded the Imagination Library and Markus’ brother instantly shot up and said:
“Dolly Parton!”
Because he told us his cousin was raised in the South and always got books from that program every year. We won absolutely nothing for a prize. I got Crosby a bit worked up and lightheartedly made fun of Gabriella. I went home afterwards and finished up writing before taking a shower and going to sleep

Song of the Day: Mad About You - Hooverphonic (2000)
@jim🅱️o I listened to Hooverphonic.
 
February 6th, 2026: More cookie cereal for breakfast. I had time to make myself coffee while James was finishing up his breakfast, I got on the bus and got off to see some people in the parking lot. I went in and saw that the website guy, Kiana, and Portia were all waiting for the repair guy to come because the elevators weren’t working and you can’t use the stairs to go up somehow. The Indian lady, Mrauku, the Afghani lady, and Staples came in in that order. Later Mauer and then Wun Wun. At this point the website guy joked:
“Ok now everybody say something positive about the person to the left of them, starting with Kiana!”
Kiana struggled to say something positive about the website guy and I laughed, that was the end of it. Tia then Threes came in and next Lillehammer. The Ukrainian man at 8:40am and he went on his phone for a while until the management guy came in and at 8:49am we were finally let in. I went up and got situated, noticing that Edgar wasn’t here today. I felt very light headed for most of the day like I was constantly having a headache. I had to leave for zoom call at 11:25am and got 2 cups of coffee and lots of water beforehand. I left to tell Seth M while he was talking to Keke and Kiana about something. I was assigned to help out the website guy with getting Microsoft office working on his Macbook. I went to the library for a quiet space when I found out that there was no Zoom meeting today and only 2 people had to attend in our group. I went back and clocked back in to try and fix the Macbook, I called Apple support and they told me to call Microsoft support but I got it done by the time I finished the call by closing and opening the program again. I went over to get pizza a bit later to select the lasagna slice. I went back and continued programming. Joy was in a break room washing a ton of stuff for her job, I offered to help her clean but she passed, when I asked her about the new restaurant, she told me it’s good but not authentic because the ownership was Vietnamese. I went to Ahwahn’s office to look for Seth M. Edgar arrived later and didn’t have his class today. Apparently Tia never had her printer set up so I went over to her to get it working. She asked me to find more Spanish interpreters like Liseuxa but that’s all I know of. The printer was connected to the wifi but we couldn’t identify which one it was until I texted Seth M the question. We talked about the new sushi place that opened up a few days ago and Tia told me she doesn’t really like seafood, especially raw seafood but she checked their website and decided that the fried fish sounds a bit good. Tia recommended that I check out this Indian-Mexican fusion restaurant where they have butter chicken pizza. I figured out the name and we did a test run to see it was finally working. I had the Afghani man call me over because his printer wasn’t working. I talked with Edgar a bit before leaving at 4:30pm, the first time in forever that I’ve done that. I went out at the same time as this woman who comes here only on Thursdays and Fridays because she’s still in school and told her about the restaurant. I thought she was following me on my walk to the restaurant but it turned out she just parked elsewhere. When I got in I took note of the size of the restaurant and the sheer amount of staff there. I got seated by myself and was helped by a White guy who I ordered strawberry flavored Ramune from. The items went along a conveyor belt where they were color coded by their price, it usually came in sets of 6 plates, 1 with the name of the item in a display tag at the front followed by the rest, sometimes there were items that were 2 or 3 plates and occasionally they had tiny cups of wasabi and ginger for free. The cheapest was the (rare) green plates at $2.99 and the most expensive were the pink plates at $6.99. I had 4 plates including mackerel sashimi (green), actual mochi with red bean paste (blue), a yellow plate of salmon sushi, and a red plate to cost me $27.99 in total. I could live out my newfound fantasies of larping as a Japanese salaryman who just got off of work to get drunk out with his fellow workers, minus the workers. I heard some vocaloid song playing on the speakers and I ended up leaving at 5:20pm. 3 young Black kids asked me about when a bus came and were selling candy for their basketball team. I got on the bus and went home to game a lot. Someone recommended me on Twitter that I watch a 1976 movie called Network and I decided I would do that tomorrow. I took a shower before going to sleep.

Song of the Day: Monitoring - DECO*27 (2024)
 
February 7th, 2026: Rose’s fiancé’s birthday is today. I woke up at 7:00am and had cereal. I had little to do today until 7:00pm with the dance. I took my vacuum and cleaned up the house a bit until 9:30am when I decided to start watching the movie Network released in 1976. I absolutely loved it but based on the premise, I thought it was gonna be Howard Beale getting more and more deranged on his nightly news thing until he killed himself but it went to be different and I loved the Arthur Jensen speech. I finished off the orange juice I had bought and then went back to gaming. I made some of the rice noodles I bought back in high school to cook and ate them. I continued working and doing next to nothing, not even going outside sadly because of how cold it was. i found out from talking with Dean over Snapchat that the host of the anime convention I’m gonna volunteer at got caught sexually assaulting someone in 2018. At 4:40pm, my roommate James came back and took a shower first thing. I shaved and cleaned up better despite my sickness and heated up some lentil soup my mom gave me for leftovers, I was supposed to be picked up at 6:00pm but she said that we would be getting there at 6:20pm. I got dressed and took a picture beforehand:
1770611730335.jpeg
I went outside but then went in to go to the bathroom and while in there at 6:24pm, Agaw messaged me:

<Here!
I got off the toilet and got out to drive over with her, we weren’t picking up her fiancé so it was a shorter drive there, we got in at 7:02pm to a dead dancefloor and fLeJean was there. I got a Pabst beer and then fLeJean asked Agaw to dance. I continued to drink and watched more people start to dance. I danced with Agaw first and next a short-haired woman from Phoenix, Arizona. She worked at a church in Kenosha and was here scouting and learning for a ball to put on in 2028. The money basket wasn’t out yet so I had to wait. Here’s the song list:

1770611730364.jpeg 1770611730386.jpeg

I danced with another woman. The bald guy named Joe was back. We had our first dance tutorial from Loid and Yor and were told to get into two lines, I partnered up with Table #8 woman and she didn’t look enthusiastic at all, I then got shifted down to Jacky and she was much more excited to dance with me and talk. But I noticed her dancing more with another guy and I could tell he’s her boyfriend. I danced with Table #2 and she still wore her chain bracelet. I went over to Agaw and at 7:41pm she told me about her friends:
“I love them to death but they’re not punctual.”
They still weren’t here and I saw more people like Anders and his sister, both quite unfortunate looking. I meet this enthusiastic girl whom I will be calling Roan from Milwaukee who was born November 29th, 2001, she had a boyfriend. I danced with another thin, socially awkward woman who was 22 years old from Milwaukee. I also danced with Table #11. There was a second tutorial for a harder dance with a lot of kicking. We got into 4 lines this time and the girls would go up to ask to dance with a guy. I got an ugly girl and when we rotated in line I ended up with Table #2 and I noticed her pushing with her left hand was very hard and obnoxious, I was just trying to get into good form not feel her up. I got rotated all the way to Agaw again and then I ended up back with Table #2, I stopped dancing for a while and then went back after feeling bad for a while. I danced with this woman whom I will be calling Martha, she was a good dancer and I saw her before one time with an emerald-colored dress at Eucharistic adoration, and I’m pretty sure she grew up rich, as she mentioned going to high school with Alex Antetokounmpo. I danced with Table #11 again and then a few more before trying to copy this move that fLeJean did with his girlfriend Table #7 where they let them lean out before pulling them back in and holding them as they fall back. I didn’t get the hang of it. I danced with the girl from Phoenix to Knock Three Times. I finally left after dancing to Rasputin but Agaw had to stop at Kwik Trip to refuel. In there I grabbed 10 napkins to use as tissues and shoved the rest in her car just in case. I got home at 11:40pm, took a shower, and went to sleep. The dance overall went awfully, I just felt less connected towards others, I’ve managed to scare off a woman by being a shitty texter, I just need to pray more.

Song of the Day: 7 Weeks & 3 Days - IcyBeast (2024)
 
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