Writing for nothing, text for free

I’ve been pretty nostalgic lately; I keep remembering the “good ol’ days”, back when the grass was greener, women were still in the kitchen, and the Internet was a place void of Wikipedia, but still filled to the brim with porn.

I remember a 28.8k modem beeping and blurting (over the phone-line) and being driven insane.I remember a 56k modem chipping away at my patience and at my wallet due to 100Megabyte-traffic restrictions. I remember having to write an essay about Sweden, searching via metacrawler (does that thing still exist?) to inform myself about this fabled country of lore and finding nothing but porn, porn and even more porn. Swedish porn as far as the query results could see. Wasn’t a laughing matter either — I was close to tears, and not because of the explicit images, but because I didn’t find anything useful for days and days while time was ticking away. In the end I didn’t find anything worth anything and got an F (thanks Internet).

Everything was much more complicated too. If you had asked me 10 years ago if the Internet would expand like this and everyone would eventually know of its existence, I’d have laughed in your face and said: Everyone already knows, but no one is interested. Why would anyone go there? Maybe I am fooling myself. I was probably sick and tired of it. Sick and tired of all the problems. Sick and tired of all the shit you had to put up with in the world wide web. But like an abused spouse i kept coming back. Being in the net wasn’t something everybody was….

But then I remember my youth… stuffing my pillow under the door to keep light of late-night television from escaping through the door… watching bad comedy from even worse comedians, hearing the same lines about Clinton or Bush or some B-class celebrity I didn’t know squat about over and over…. still happily wasting my time away on video-games, playing the same level over and over and over, putting up with bad controls, not enough save-slots, enormous load times, inferior graphics, too expensive…

When I sum it up i somehow see the negatives in dominant position. In contrast the future is looking bright: Obama got elected, the world still isn’t going to end anytime soon, not even with flying pigs, and the Internet has left such deep marks in society, so that it will be a long time till a dictatorial regime locks me up for some stupid trifle.

I guess I’m just getting old. I’m not at the edge anymore. I’m not hip, nor 1337, nor pimp, dope, leckerschmecker, ipod, fabulous – I’m not even cool anymore. It’s really depressing. There’s nothing left except a shallow resentment against the good prospects of the future. There was nothing of worth in the past, but i still love it. I love thinking about it. The present is should be a happier place but I can’t make myself believe it. Obama may be right and things can change, but I haven’t yet. What was the word describing fear of change? Old-man syndrome? Progressivephobia?

Is there’s a lesson to be learned from all of this? Is it that even if you don’t like your world now, at least you’ll like it thinking back on it later? I think it’s rather that fate has dealt me an unlucky hand. All the problems i had to endure back then are gone in the new generation. It’s a matter of fairplay, they should have to suffer like me. Sure, the comedians may still have no good jokes to tell, the Internet may still be useless as a source even with wikipedia around, and games may be still the same shit as 10 years ago. But it’s dressed up nicer.