Writing for nothing, text for free

Kei literally means sequel, as in “the thing which happens after”. Too bad Clamp failed to acknowledge this little fact. Instead they churn out shovelware revolving about the one thing the prequel already bugged us about: Watanuki’s skill of making bento* and buying sake, XXXholic style.

So what has actually changed? Well for one: Watanuki is a complaining bitch. The astute reader, who has seen the prequel, will now say: “So nothing much, eh?” And I would reply: Yep, that’s the whole problem. It’s the same boring shit we’ve seen a thousand times before: Domeki eats Watanukis bento*, bento*-maker gets mad, Himawari appears and Watanuki is ignored in favor of Domeki, the loner throws a fit, yadda yadda yadda, put in a ghost at the end and you’ve got a new episode of XXXholic Kei.

I would have thought that, after 10 episodes or so of Watanuki bitching about Domeki eating his bento* or about his mistress wanting more sake and/or more bento*/dinner/breakfast/brunch/snack/appetizer/sake/bento*, either Watanuki or his friends would finally come to their senses, and do something different for a change, alas, it was not to be. Perhaps all the sake and bentos* in the studio have made the writers themselves lazy. Like a fat whale in a wheelchair they laboriously try to make up for bad writing by splashing around wildly, putting an action sequence here and there, but ultimately fail to excite the masses with anything except drenched clothes. I hope the American audience sues….

I’m not some perfectionist who expects a deep plot or lots of character development, but something, anything substantial. Make Watanuki bitch just a little less, and I will be happy. I’m sure some will point out, that this sort of “humor” is the charm of the series. I would reply, no it’s not, it’s torture, and even though this is not illegal in the USA, it still doesn’t make it right. This staple has so many other great qualities, it doesn’t need to rely on this trite, overdone and boring “slapstick” bullshit.

Now that I think about it: I really hope Domeki gets diabetes from eating Watanuki’s bentos*, and Yuko permanent brain damage from her alcohol excesses. I would be laughing my ass off. At least then there would exist a slight resemblance of an original story. Oh, and let Himawari be hit by a truck. No happy endings here, kids, just valuable life lessons.

Bento*.

In all fairness, the series gets slightly better at the end, but the train-wreck that comes before and the lacklustre final episode, in which almost all characters of this series get together to have a big fanservice orgy (sadly this time with pants and furries), seal the deal. Not having read the original manga I can only speculate, but I would say Clamp simply ran out of material to work with, “what little there was in the first place”, a cruel cynic might add.

I did have the strength to sit through to the end, and even though I’ve been incessantly bitching for the last couple of paragraphs, I was still entertained when a sparkle of story shone through the bento*-making, sake-drinking garbage-dump. I just wish I would have gotten more of the glitter. But as it stands, the bento* of fried eggs, weird sushi, and other food I have neither seen before nor can pronounce, makes me only half full. Lets hope for a better third season.

*If you found the use of “bento”* (or sake for that matter) in this post irritating, then don’t watch XXXholic Kei, or you will be driven insane. One has to give credit to the original author though, at least this time it’s a guy forcing his bento*-making skills onto others. Better? No, even more annoying, if that’s even possible. But the lack of panties in this case make it bearable. Barely.