I badly want to start saying “this is my Swarovski Shrek” to refer to any outrageously expensive yet ridiculous object I start coveting. If anyone says “what the fuck” and asks what I mean, well. It’s their lucky day to learn about Swarovski Shrek

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

Mandy Hale

Scientific method by James Tadd Adcox

momentarily had the thought “shout out to my platonic harem” and then remembered that’s called friends