Death Note Audio Drama 01

Disk 1: Pattern Recognition - a summary / partial translation

The Death Note audio drama is a German audiobook production that is officially licensed, but has been written and produced without any further involvement from the Japanese copyright holders. A Japanese release is, as such, not planned. An English release was announced in 2017 and has since never received any more news nor a release date announcement.

The audio drama starts of pretty benign as a retelling of the manga with some changed facts and dialogues…. and eventually full-on diverges from the plot and leads to a completely alternative ending. It’s pretty wild for officially licensed media. Wild enough to absolutely warrant being shared with the English-speaking fandom at large.

Since the whole drama is 12 hours in total in 12 disks (covering roughly one manga volume each), I won’t be able to provide a full translation and instead will summarize the less juicy bits while doing a full translation of anything funny or interesting. 

All future episodes will be found in this tag on my blog.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

We open to the sound of someone typing.

LIGHT: Something is rotten. Post-modern. Post-truth. Post-Justice. Day in day out, the same lies in endless repetition. Killers get away with murder. Drug dealers sell poison to children. The world is drowning in its own filth. The world is infected with corruption. I am the cure. I am the–

A knocking sound.

SACHIKO (muffled): Dinner is ready, dear!

LIGHT (groans, but then goes on): I am the surgeon who cuts out the cancer, I am the–

More knocking.

SACHIKO: It’s your favourite dish!

LIGHT: One second, mom! 

SACHIKO: Are you talking to your friends online again?

LIGHT: It’s fine, mom, I’m coming!

SACHIKO: Hurry up, it’s getting cold.

______

We cut to a scene of the task force entering the school in which Kuroh Otoharada has taken children hostage. The scene is fairly simple. Someone (I think Matsuda?) is pretty violently insistent on shooting Otoharada if necessary. They find Otoharada dead in the bathroom. 

______

Ryuk, who has a voice like a friendly fat little man narrating fairytales, tells us the rules of the Death Note. We cut to Light coming home and giving Sachiko his test results. They cut out the whole ‘number one in the nation’ and simply changed it to top grades in a nation-wide test exam. Probably because Germany doesn’t have ranking lists like that at all.

_______

A TV report about Otoharada is playing. A lady named Noriko Takai is trying to interview Matsuda about the incident. Matsuda refers her to the upcoming pref-conference, but admits that Otoharada died of a heart attack.

_______

Typing noises again.

LIGHT: To all those who are interested… If you are reading this text, something went wrong. If you are reading this, I might even be dead. In that case, dear me, dear Light Yagami. This is your younger self. In case you’ve forgotten everything, this story may be hard to believe, yet every word is true. Yeah… You found a notebook on the school grounds. Yeah… It claimed to have the power of bringing death to anyone you name in it. And yeah… you laughed about it. You were thinking of a prank. However… you couldn’t resist, am I right? You wrote the name of this guy from the school hostage taking and he died. But it could have been a coincidence. So you tried again. And what you saw, scared you. But in the same moment, you understood the power you had. So you ran home into your room and the confirmation was already waiting for you. With his claws, and glowing devil’s eyes.

________

Ryuk is indeed in Light’s bedroom. The meeting dialogue is largely very similar to the manga. However, this snippet happens….

LIGHT: I didn’t expect something so—

RYUK: Something so demonic? I’m hurt. I’m quite the catch for a denizen of the netherworld. I could be a sex god, if I wasn’t so good with death.

Ryuk elaborates that the notebook now belongs to Light, that nobody can see him, that he wasn’t chosen, that the shinigami world is boring… yadda yadda, we know this from the anime already. Light says his famous “if someone dies, does that make me a murderer?” line and Ryuk just says “of course it does.”
Another funny Ryuk line: “You killed someone else too? Awww, you’re my man.”

________

In a flashback Light walks Shinjuku. Takuo Shibuimaru shows up and Light kills him, hurray. 

Back in the present:

RYUK: Fantastic. You killed this guy for flirting with a woman?

LIGHT: She wanted to be left alone.

RYUK: Alllright, social justice warrior. But isn’t that a little… strict?

Light launches into a speech about his ambitions. Ryuk keeps pointing out that he is afraid. Light gets annoyed at being condescended, since Ryuk is the one who gave him the weapon in the first place. However, he also admits to being scared. But still, someone needs to do it. But who else could do it, if not him? Etc, etc, etc. HE WILL MAKE A BETTER WORLD.

_______

A TV segment about the early Kira deaths. The chief prosecutor is under fire for treating prisoners badly, since people assume the prisoners died of bad food in prison. Other people deny that this is how it is, because they assume that bad food would have more than 3 victims. Someone else assumes it is the will of God. Some other guy is praising whoever does the killing in a flippant and humorous tone. The interviewer criticizes him for these views.

________

L: Come in, Watari, come in. 

WATARI: I thought you might already be in bed, Mr. L. It’s fairly late.

L: No sleep, no, not sleeping. Can’t sleep. 

WATARI: How much coffee did you…

L: There’s a killer on the loose, Watari!

WATARI: That is always the case, Mr. L.

L: No, this time it’s different. Different, you understand? I looked at the data, check it out. Heart attacks going through the roof.

WATARI: The deaths among criminals? Wasn’t that about the food?

L: No, it can’t be the food, when it’s taking place so hand-picked and world-wide. These people can’t all have been poisoned by the same dose. What do the deaths have in common…? The only connection really appears to be that all of them are criminals…

WATARI: You are a master in pattern recognition, L. You’re famous for it. 

L (laughs): Famous, yeah. We have to contact interpol. I looked at the data. Someone is killing criminals by the dozens. We need to talk to interpol.

WATARI: They had a conference announced for later today anyway. Well… tomorrow. In their time.

L: Time? Time zones, of course! 

WATARI: Mr. L…? 

L: Let’s look back at the data for a moment. 

_______

Ryuk is impressed by how many people Light killed. Light admits to getting nightmares due to it, but he also is determined about his mission. He explains his idea of heart attacks leading to recognition of the pattern. Ryuk is pretty flippant about Light’s plan, saying he is the only danger to mankind.

_______

Nature noises.

WATARI: Are we working in the park now, Mr. L?

L: I need to stay on the move. Change wifi hotspots.

WATARI: Isn’t that a little… paranoid?

L: In the face of a killer who can kill from a distance? No, it’s only appropriate. Completely appropriate. Watari… You need to create a filter. Something to distort my voice over the phone. 

WATARI: That’ll be done in no time, Mr. L.

L now explains his initial idea of how to catch the killer. He asks WHEN someone would use their power to kill and concludes that they’d do it after work before bed, in free time timeframes. L assumes someone would likely kill between 4pm and 2am, but which timezone? 78% of people die in that timeframe, in GMT-10. Thus L narrows it down to countries in that timezone for a start. And he also wants to factor in weekends, holidays, other free time events… for all those countries, to narrow it down with reference to the 32% of killings done at other times. 

_______

The interpol meeting is in session. The French representative argues that if the assumption is that this is black magic or something, then it isn’t under their jurisdiction. After all there are no laws about magic or cursing people. The US representative and meeting leader explains that there weren’t any laws about cyber crimes (or even a concept of cyber crimes) either before there were computers. Thus she argues in favor of investigating. 

________

RYUK: I mean, I love it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a god of death and you are basically my dedicated intern.

LIGHT: Can’t you just—

RYUK: I will just do what I feel like. You can’t write my name into my own book. I am practically the only living being on this planet that is pretty much safe from you. And that’s exactly why I’m asking: when is it over?
I look at you, putting on airs full of significance, how you’re killing the killers, the rapists, the serial killers…. You declared yourself the highest arbiter. 

LIGHT: Someone has to do it. Someone has to tidy up!

RYUK: And what happens when you’re done with murderers? Tax evaders? Jaywalkers? Two hairdressers having a brawl at a bar? Where do you draw the line after which the world is cleansed? Let me tell you something. This world has always been a cesspit. 

LIGHT: I’ll know it when it happens.

RYUK: Or when someone stops you.

LIGHT: Oh come on, who’s supposed to find me?

______

Back at Interpol, they’re debating the need for an international task force. Soichiro suggests bringing in L. French representative is just like “oooh, you’re calling a mystery to solve a mystery?”. Who L is gets explained.

Watari comes in and explains that L is already on the case. L’s message is played. He wants cooperation from the police.

______

A TV report about further killings. A different channel, a religious speaker claims the final days have come. A different channel again, a stand-up comedian talks about the Kira case and jokes that if all killers gets killed nobody would be left to run the government. Says he’d love to do it, but he smoked weed as a college student, so he’s probably on the list too….

Yet another channel recalls that the most popular theory about the killing has religious qualities and that people online are talking of “Kira, the saviour”. 

Light turns off the audio on the TV and Ryuk complains.

RYUK: They assume Kira is male… How sexist.

Light is currently busy googling ‘Kira’. Light complains that people don’t manage to spell ‘Killer’ correctly, if that is what they mean to say. Ryuk is the one who brings up how ‘you Japanese’ swap L and R and thus explains the name.

Then the Lind L. Tailor broadcast happens and Ryuk tells Light to put the audio back on.  

______

The Task Force is discussing the broadcast. Matsuda thought L would be more self-assured and less… reading his text off flash cards. He then realizes the name sounds familiar to him and looks it up. 

______

Light talks to Ryuk about writing Tailor’s name and does so. He dies.

LIGHT: Oopsiedaisy, heart attack.

L’s voice picks right back up. Light is confused and angry. L explains the scheme. The taunt proceeds as in the manga.

_____

Matsuda is just like ‘I tried to tell you, boss. Tailor was on death row’.

______

There is actually noises of Light breaking things in his room as he gets mad about this. Ryuk tells him to calm down. L disconnects on TV.

RYUK: Mic drop. Rock ‘n’ Roll.

LIGHT: Shut up.

______

Matsuda and Soichiro have their conversation about L’s stunt and also Kira lowering crime rate while Soichiro is rushing to catch the train home.

______

SAYU: Oh no, not curry again….

SACHIKO: Sayu, you love curry, you—

SAYU: That was when I was 6, mom! It makes you fat.

SACHIKO: Don’t be silly, dearie.

LIGHT: Everything makes you fat, if you eat too much of it.

SACHIKO: Thanks, Light. At least one person in this family uses his brain. You get that from your dad.

As if on cue, Soichiro comes home. He is delighted about the curry. Talks about the Kira case. He also brings up the idea of Kira being a teenager. Light chokes on his curry quite lengthily at that. 

______

Ryuk expresses his surprise at Soichiro leading the investigation. Light comes up with his plan to change the time of death.

______

L calls Soichiro and Soichiro gives him the news that Kira now kills hourly. L declares people connected to the investigators to be suspects.

______

The US Interpol representative and Watari are meeting for coffee, though Watari does not get coffee because it messes with his heart-rate. Watari requests the FBI to supervise in Japan. Specifically the FBI because the CIA might include a mole. The FBI meanwhile is meant for inland and thus not yet related to the case and can function as external. The representative is pretty shocked and initially refuses, based on the rules for the FBI. 

______

Three detectives leave the case because they don’t want to risk their lives by fighting Kira. 

______

Watari informs L that the FBI has agreed to investigate. L has already looked into the suspect pool via social media. Related to investigators, 16-24, only in the Kanto region…. 

______

Ryuk informs Light of someone tailing him. It’s a lengthy dialogue but very canon-close and not super interesting.

LIGHT: If this is the police….

RYUK: You’ll put up your hands and surrender?

LIGHT: I’m going to have to kill them. All of them.

RYUK: Yeah, that’s what I thought.