>>946733057 (OP)
it's early morning in the US and the US mainly populates this board so yeah you're pretty much talking into the void.

>>946733057 (OP)
Tried rehab and it didn't work, how many times? What have you got to lose if you keep trying?

>>946733087

thanks for the sentiment, anon <3

>>946733106

my job. can't quit leave without being fired.

>>946733057 (OP)
How much do you drink?

>>946733057 (OP)
What would happen if you stopped, anon? I stopped when it started making me sick before it started getting me drunk. I was about your age.

>>946733144

right now I'm about 14 drinks in

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>>946733164

afriad to find out

I got drunk last night cause i just needed an escape. Was the first time in a bout 3 weeks though. It helps me mentally destress but of course its only temporary. If you start to abuse it though life will punish you so badly you'll feel like you are in actual hell. If you are physically dependent on it though especially trust me get help. You don't don't need to get to the point of hallucinating and throwing up blood/ shitting youself or someshit just to be forced to get better or die

>>946733057 (OP)
Anon, what else do you enjoy besides drinking? Sometimes these kinds of problems stem from a complete lack of fulfillment or interest.

So live like you do, if you want to and it`s a non issue, keep going, i doubt anyone cares
Some pretend they do, but they really don`t
Pretty common to not wanting to quit if you`re not at the bottom yet
Go full tilt, loose everything and see if you still want to drink
I quit meth after close to 20 years in a massive psychosis that ended with a giant spider eating its way trough my eye
The bottomless pit of debt did help too
I do miss it, but i miss the "i`m a junkie" excuse for my shitty life more, cause quitting is not as hard as they say, staying clean when everyone around you still think of you as a lying cunt is

Anyhoo, good luck whatever you do

>>946733174
Beer, cocktails, what?

>>946733057 (OP)
>I want to keep drinking until I die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc0sJvtKrRM&list=RDbc0sJvtKrRM&start_radio=1&pp=ygUba29ycGlrbGFhbmkgbWFuIHdpdGggYSBwbGFuoAcB [Embed]

>>946733181
But you're not afraid to keep going?

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>>946733198

rhythm games, jrpgs.if ypu're talking about fulfillment, I do want a family...but I'm pretty much this guy

>>946733218

liquor

>>946733233

how have I never seen this?

>>946733240

not really, i've gone this far, right?

>>946733240
sadly you are not eligible for groups that could help you, if you still want to drink..you need to make a clean cut ( i know, it sounds easier than it really is) I wish you the best for the future. I have 2 friends myself, who had alcohol problems.

>>946733057 (OP)
why doesn't death scare you u fucking weirdo?

>>946733337

Thanks, but yeah, I know what I am.

>>946733057 (OP)
Friends brother died that way. It isn’t pretty man… like honestly drinking yourself to death is suuuper gruesome. Your organs start to fail and then you’re done. Constant pain… you’ll probably keep drinking through it too. It’s such a bad way to go.

>>946733276
Hmmm, yes I was afraid that was what you were going to say. I love video games, man, and I love to have some lil drinky-poos but you have to find a way to aim for more. It's what I call the work-room cycle. Your mind literally cries out for something more engaging. Pick up an instrument, buy a project car, what is that thing that you don't do because you're not sure if you could?

>>946733057 (OP)
my friend died not from heroin overdose or meth but his apparent chronic habit and then stopping suddenly cause his mom went into the hospital and died
pretty crazy they died within a week of each other his body was too worn out to live

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>>946733308
You think you're driving an endless highway and one day a brick wall will pop up or you'll hit a patch of ice or something and crash and immediately die. That's not at all how it works. The road gets rougher and your car gets worse and the tires blow and there's fog and sleet but you just keep limping that shit down the road until it breaks down. Then you get pulled out and frog marched until you collapse. Some factors affecting the process of death and dying are beyond your control but drinking solvents is not one. Just stop.

>>946733381
as bad as that sounds..but my friend had to reach the absolute bootom til he was able and willing to get help.
Perhaps you aren't at that point in your life ATM
The Pro's are regaining a modicum of control over your life, the cons are, that you'll never lose the urge for booze, even after years of abstinence and have to maintain a very strict lifestyle.
If that's sounding a bit formal at times it's because english is not my mothertongue and i have to rely on school-english^^

>>946733057 (OP)
Lol I'm in a sober living facility right now, did a 3.1 php program I graduated from 2 weeks ago. I had to move back in with family at 29 and started blacking out off those 10% abv club cocktail things. Previously I went to a 3.5 program, live in rehab, only a few hours a week for your phone. Prisoners/jail people were there, they were strangely chill too.

>>946733567
i think people like op believe that they will see their doom approaching and they will be able to stop before they die. the thing about the liver tho is it gives toy no warning. by the time you skin turns yellow you are absolutely cooked. youtube is full of young people with end stage liver failure who are sober now when it is too late.

Are you physically an alcoholic or just a binge drinker? 41 is rough

>>946733057 (OP)
Sorry to hear about it anon. I hope you somehow get the strength and stop. Or slow down to some non-alcoholic amount (probably less likely...what do I know).

>>946733057 (OP)
That's grim.. Have you never seen Leaving Las Vegas? Get yourself to an AA meeting asap

>>946733057 (OP)
Sooner or later you'll find your self not being able to stop having a panic attack and wanting to die if you don't stop.. good luck(Y)

>>946733969

oh I know my doom is approaching

>>946734295

binge.

>>946734442

thx,

>>946734469

never,

>>946734469

nope. why should I listen to Hunter S Thompson?

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Older guys, you always know how to make me smile.
...

>>946733276
>I do want a family

Shit I have a family and it makes me want to drink. It’s so expensive and stressful. You’re free brother. Instead of drinking you should be getting in shape, fucking lots of different pussy and traveling the world. All of those things are gone for me because I don’t have the time or money to. You’re wasting an opportunity God has given you on booze

If you don't get withdrawal symptoms you aren't an alcoholic

>>946733057 (OP)
Liver cancer fucking hurts dumbass

You'll get brain damage if you keep too consistent with it

>>946733057 (OP)
There is always hope anon, but the only one who can help you is you. That will sound retarded, but try just not to drink for one day. Go for a walk or smth. Then seek some help, maybe AA group or smth

>>946734716
This was me and it was the only thing that made me cut back my alcohol. Went on like a month long binge where I was staying up till 5am every day drinking then reality hit and I had some shit to do where I couldn't drink and had a crazy panic attack and spent the next two months in bed, thought I was insane and developed a fear of going outside.

Still working on it but I'm a lot better now. Being dependent on alcohol is no joke. Shit sucks but if you can even go a day or two the fog will lift OP and you won't want to end it.

>>946733057 (OP)
Just go Cali sober and switch to thc drinks, then suck up the withdrawals. It's not hard, you just don't want to. Liver failure is excruciating and you can't numb it