Friedrich Merz, you bald-headed, wrinkled-up cumstain of a politician. You strut around like a constipated banker who just discovered lube, but your "vision" for Germany is just jerking off to tax cuts for your billionaire butt buddies while the rest of us get fucked raw. That smug, elitist face looks like it was carved from a failed erection—limp, useless, and begging for a slap. Go choke on a BlackRock cock, you soulless neoliberal prick. No one wants your dusty old balls running the show.