>>80184
I don't know if it's a cope, but I like to think that I'm a God who knows things people don't, put inside the body of a animalistic wretched human scum. I like to think that sometimes, when I go to sleep, I get access to divine knowledge I forget when I wake up. I have those out of body experiences during sleepiness often, realize I'm inside THIS body, like I just loaded an old save file.
Why can't I be God, wouldn't that be more interesting? To observe humanity and animals, that's my only purpose for being here, to have them enlighten and entertain me, much like an actual God. I don't interact with them outside of my observatory, I just watch them. I never really realized that comparison until now, I always just thought I was a ghost instead.
I am a mortal, it only takes one bad thing to happen for it all to go crumbling down, and yet, nothing ever happens. I am just allowed to be a God, every single day. Maybe everyone is a God in their own right. Are billionaires Gods? Are there many Gods in this world that we aren't aware of? I think lowly of religion so much so that I think everyone can be God if they'd like. But I haven't had much time to be a human, instead I watch the other humans be humans, and make my judgements based on that.
Perhaps God is the wrong term, rather, I'm a mortal demigod. And so are you, that is if you are like me, and you're not a human, just an entity that observes humans and is entertained by them. That's a cope though, a volcel chud who stays indoors all day on the computer, couldn't possibly be a demigod deity. But who fucking cares, you can be whatever you want. Until you die, that is. Maybe it's the spirit of youth, of course I think I'm a God, I'm so young and naive. The "immortal" manchild, not uncommon for a lot of people. I'll never truly be a God, but perhaps I aspire to be.
I want to figure everything out, solve it all, I want to get to the core of humanity, what makes them tick, and I want them to entertain me as much as possible. But I'm not a sadistic person, I hate what humanity can do in the realms of the sadistic and impure, the devilish, it shocks me to my core. There's some humanity in me in that regard, I don't think a God truly cares. He would still be entertained even if they hurt eachother in increasingly more gruesome ways.
How could a REAL God have morals he doesn't know why he has? How could I truly become a God, if I get mad and upset over people I don't care about being mistreated sometimes? It's a bit of a bizarre thing, I say I don't care about women but I do, I don't know why. Must be the experiences with my mothers, hearing of and seeing their abuse. The lack of that in men makes me care about them less, not sure if it's the same for you, but I don't really care about men being raped or tortured, they seem like they could take it. We as a society joke about that happening in prison like it's nothing, until it comes to women, then it's serious business. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I love women, but I also hate women, for no reason. I will love them when it comes to protecting them, but will hate them because they disinterest me, they have nothing to do with me or my life, and yet they require and demand my attention thanks to my nagging moral core.
I wish I could be a robot, like GlaDOS or something for this reason. Maybe I wouldn't be hurt by all the sadistic things in the world. I'll always have these morals that I have, even if they don't make sense, for a God, atleast.
