Chacha im going to say a few words I want you to please not reply as soon as you see them and instead take a few hours to process what im going to say to you. Please take what I say seriously.
First off, I forgive you for a few months back, however I can ONLY speak for myself and whatever I went through with you in particular. I cannot speak on anything else going on in regards to you and anyone else. You MUST stop coming online. I do not know if you have a group of people in your DMs or a server gassing you up to come back, please do not listen to them. You need more than a few months to actually ground yourself and make change. VTUBING IS NOT THE PLACE FOR THIS. THIS IS DETRIMENTAL TO YOU. I REPEAT, ALL OF THIS WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO HARM YOU AND SET YOU BACK.
You cannot on one hand reach out and say you have changed, make posts about such and then totally crash out AGAIN. If you are actually serious about change you're going to drop all this, focus on every aspect of your life BESIDES BEING ONLINE/VTUBING/STREAMING. I do not believe right now you are in the proper mental space to be online and you must long term disconnect. Can you see this is a repeating pattern thats happened like 3-4 times now in the past few months? It's time you break out of this cycle and the only way that will meaningfully happen is to not late night post and put the phone down.
I do understand this may be all you can do right now but you must make a change. Spend your time listening to some self help books, focus on a few games between therapy, journal, find religion, take up what exercise you can possibly do. Do anything that will fill time for you NOT to be here. You WILL see a change in your life but you must commit to it. Do not listen to anyone saying to post or stream, they DO NOT have your best interest in mind, YOU MUST SPEND TIME OFFLINE.