×
Dismiss this pinned window
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]trendingtattler[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

This post has reached /r/all.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]AnusStapler 3943 points3944 points  (31 children)

[–]Just_another_ISTP 622 points623 points  (25 children)

Mr. Chris P. Bacon

[–]slaty_balls 471 points472 points  (6 children)

Mr. Sachs A. Danglin.

[–]CanIgetaWTF 153 points154 points  (6 children)

Sir Chris P. Bacon

[–]Generic_Username26 60 points61 points  (0 children)

That’s officer Chris P. Bacon to you

[–]lennyvs1996 4138 points4139 points  (64 children)

Processing img ko4ix0y9l7mg1...

[–]Tarbos6 876 points877 points  (34 children)

"OINK"

[–]gaddemmit 314 points315 points  (28 children)

OH MY GOD!

[–]Mommy_Lawbringer 206 points207 points  (23 children)

Yeees, he's something, isn't he?

[–]Alarmed_Kiwi_7616 207 points208 points  (22 children)

Are those fists?

[–]Training-Tip-4459 198 points199 points  (15 children)

Damn right, show em’ pig

[–]Alarmed_Kiwi_7616 309 points310 points  (13 children)

[–]Candynips96 72 points73 points  (3 children)

[–]VCTRYDTX 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Hit him so hard bro landed in a different comment.

[–]acqua_cucumber 96 points97 points  (4 children)

My favorite thread of the year right here

[–]GrecoRomanGuy 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Whenever the Internet comes together like that, it's glorious, isn't it?

[–]orangejeep 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I love having the captions on for the scene that immediately played in my head.

[–]tinylittlemarmoset 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They’re church bells

[–]bedteddd 85 points86 points  (6 children)

This episode is fucking funny 😁 😂

[–]Antique-Car6103 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Those aren’t balls. Those are boxing gloves.

[–]cuntybunty73 35 points36 points  (0 children)

<image>

More like a pair of these 😁

[–]ageriatricmillenial 7 points8 points  (2 children)

It's my absolute fav episode of all time. Called the Multiverse. Hot Meg is also in this episode, lol.

[–]golden_united 5147 points5148 points  (36 children)

[–]fuggindave 659 points660 points  (9 children)

Every. Damn. Time.

[–]Cal216 224 points225 points  (6 children)

Like clockwork!! And it’s NEVER not funny 🤣

[–]yanmagno 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Except when it’s that version with the dumbass dressed like a founding father

[–]LindonLilBlueBalls 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I downvote any of those I see.

[–]Cufantce 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Dude what's this from I feel like I need to see it

[–]RedLaser4000 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (2011)

[–]Eleeveeohen 57 points58 points  (1 child)

Came here for this

[–]Disastrous-Panda5530 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I came to the comments just for this lol

[–]RoninZulu1 2743 points2744 points  (45 children)

[–]AnonymousNeverKnown 579 points580 points  (23 children)

You know what it's 3:30 a.m. I really should be going to bed

[–]demoralising 1337 points1338 points  (8 children)

[–]Dramatic-Avocado4687 176 points177 points  (3 children)

“OINK!”

[–]felix_fidelis 69 points70 points  (2 children)

For whatever reason, this particular OINK lives rent free in my head

[–]zbeara 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I hear it in HD

[–]Darthbakunawa 1205 points1206 points  (25 children)

[–]Roallin1 124 points125 points  (23 children)

Who is that little boy?

[–]BecauseSeven8Nein 199 points200 points  (13 children)

Justin Bieber

[–]No-Long5784 81 points82 points  (7 children)

Who’s Justice Beaver?

[–]Snalty[🍰] 37 points38 points  (2 children)

I feel like I'm reading a comment thread from 2014, absolutely unreal

[–]SyntaxError79 566 points567 points  (20 children)

It’s probably a male.

[–]stimia 299 points300 points  (4 children)

Look at Mr Biologist over here.

[–]TrainingWolverine657 45 points46 points  (4 children)

What gave you that idea??

[–]2Nexxuzzz4 600 points601 points  (48 children)

Them balls, man

<image>

[–]MikeTony713 222 points223 points  (19 children)

He's got the biggest balls of them all

[–]Mrslinkydragon 120 points121 points  (7 children)

Some balls are held for charity and some held for fancy dress

[–]baronsamedi21 74 points75 points  (5 children)

But the balls that are held for fun are the balls that I like best

[–]Mrslinkydragon 23 points24 points  (3 children)

(Pleasure btw)

😂

[–]molehunterz 28 points29 points  (2 children)

They didn't actually know the song. They were just adding their opinion on balls

[–]notgonnatakeno 20 points21 points  (0 children)

But when they're held for pleasure They're the balls that I like best

[–]Naeril_HS 30 points31 points  (2 children)

They’re always swinging

To the left

And to the right

[–]Sp3ctralForce 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night!

[–]vitamin_r 31 points32 points  (1 child)

That scrotum skin is really pulling off some heroic shit.

[–]missingcovidbodies 16 points17 points  (1 child)

This is my new phone background

[–]Illustrious-Reward-3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Some big, meaty clackers.

[–]Kraog 460 points461 points  (128 children)

What is on his shoulder?

[–]Major_Instance_4766[S] 880 points881 points  (18 children)

More testicles

[–]katet_of_19 198 points199 points  (5 children)

It's just testicles, all the way up and down

[–]wearesoovercooked 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Son of a bitch made me laugh so hard

[–]ajatfm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh that? That’s just where I keep my spare testicle

[–]PossibleDue9849 401 points402 points  (88 children)

My guess is rash pimples from rubbing on the metal bars. Dude is getting too big to do his job, going to be recycled soon. That’s usually what happens with hogs. The fact that he has those huge balls and is out of the cage tells me this is a working hog, used to detect and encourage females in heat. You parade him in front of caged females. Those balls are smelled by the females in the cages, and then we can determine which female is ready for insemination by their reaction. I know because I’ve done it. Problem is when the male gets too big, he no longer fits in the hallways and doors, he gets these injuries. He should be retired soon.

[–]acelaya35 45 points46 points  (7 children)

When you say you've done it do you mean walk the pig or inseminate the caged females?

[–]Entire_Employment_70 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Ive also worked at a farrowing facility like this one and I can say for certain, the answer is both, theres another guy walking behind with a grease marker, if youve got one youre not sure about, typically you just put some weight on their rear end if theyre in heat they just kinda stand there, after you get done walking the boar, they'll come back with semen tubes, straws and probably harness things to hold it in place

[–]JacOfAllTrades 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know with these breeding they have a wooden rig thing with functionally a large condom to get the stallions to... Produce semem. Is it similar with hogs? I probably don't want to know, but I can't help but ask.

[–]AdhesivenessOk5194 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I actually do see a couple heads poking out in what looks like anticipation of the balls

[–]hearmeout29 71 points72 points  (55 children)

Will they slaughter him or let him live out his days in the fields?

[–]endangered_feces1 273 points274 points  (10 children)

I fear for anyone who stumbles upon the “old horny pig” pasture

[–]Lonely_reaper8 91 points92 points  (2 children)

<image>

Me summoning the horniest elderly pig to handle the trespasser

[–]sk8-past 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Laughing so hard my cat is mad. Thanks

[–]BleepinBlorpin5 23 points24 points  (0 children)

"Beware any man that has a horny pig farm." -The one dude from Snatch

[–]fearfulfalafel 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's just Epstein island

[–]Irksomecake 65 points66 points  (20 children)

Boar taint is an issue with old intact male pigs. It makes the meat taste strong, musky and a bit like urine compared with conventional pork.

[–]omgwtfbbking 113 points114 points  (14 children)

Then maybe they shouldn’t include his taint

[–]DarkSideofTaco 33 points34 points  (9 children)

If the boat has testicles and matures to adulthood, all the meat is contaminated with boar taint. Not everyone can taste it though, it's like cilantro- tastes good to some, tastes like soap to others.

[–]MommyLovesPot8toes 22 points23 points  (3 children)

(the commenter was making a joke about the double meaning of the word taint: "spoiled" and "the area between testicles and anus")

[–]demoNToosh 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Right, but I'm glad he ignored it and answered anyway because jokes get old the farther you scroll looking for more interesting information.

[–]Less-Squash7569 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly this shit is always so quippy

[–]DarkSideofTaco 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for describing the flavor, I've always been curious. Boar taint sounds worse than just gaminess.

[–]Mrslinkydragon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ideally, in a field, more than likely pet food

[–]Primary-Border8536 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You didn't get the idea by them saying "recycled" 😬 they're not letting him live...

[–]Hutchy_Graves 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Slaughtered. Every animal in that video will be slaughtered for food. They won't put him out to pasture because it's more cost effective. Beautiful animal. Disgusting system

[–]Leche-Caliente 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Similarly from what my dad learned from working with beef cattle is even though the bull may still be healthy you have to get rid of him because the older he is the larger the calf he has the mother's produce which can create risks with birthing. So the bull gets retired after so many years of use.

[–]Minute-Elephant-533 24 points25 points  (4 children)

That doesn't seem right to me. Why would bull age influence calf size?

[–]arooge 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Quality of a males sperm plays a huge in outcome of baby.  Older mens sperm has more issues 

[–]Minute-Elephant-533 10 points11 points  (1 child)

That is true, but calf size and sperm age would be weird right. I would expect other issues and complications 

[–]Leche-Caliente 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Might not even be true. My dad helps take care, but isn't dedicated to the industry. These are things he gets told by others who are more involved in beef cattle.

[–]flippantcedar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The bulls are semen tested each year to determine what percentage of "swimmers" are good anymore. Too many duds, or too low motility, and the bull is "retired". Usually they produce decent semen until they're 4 or 5, but sometimes 6 years old. It's not usually related to calf size, but more so that certain kinds of dud semen can result in a pregnancy that can't survive, so the cow miscarries and the farmer is out of luck for that cow/calf for the year (unless it's early and they can rebreed). If the defects are more so ones that prevent motility (can't swim) or prevent pregnancy, then sometimes a farmer will keep it on a bit longer since bulls produce obscene volumes of sperm and if all the hits result in viable pregnancy, then they can manage with a lower percentage of "good" sperm. So, depending on what sorts of defects are seen in the sperm, bulls have varying lifespans.

Sometimes cows will produce successively larger calves, which can cause issues. The calf size is largely dependent on genetics, so depending on what types of bulls/cows you're working with it can be more/less of an issue, but I don't believe the calf size is increased by older bull sperm. AI (artificial insemination) sperm is often selected based on the desired calf size, larger calves increase the risk of dystocia. When AI is used, the genetics of the cow and the bull are both taken into consideration.

*Source: currently in vet school and primarily worked with cattle.

[–]Heffertgab 111 points112 points  (19 children)

That Guy doesnt look healthy

[–]BareTheBear66 70 points71 points  (13 children)

Probably not. Double muscled genetics really fuck up farm animals.

[–]Main-Emphasis-2692 327 points328 points  (98 children)

I've seen pigs this size in person and it's why I'm terrified of them- mixed with Lord of the Flies & Black Mirror. Also the fact that they would eat humans & supposedly are close to human flesh 😭 I'll never eat them.

[–]EM05L1C3 175 points176 points  (30 children)

Imagine feral herds of 30-50 of these

[–]Main-Emphasis-2692 95 points96 points  (0 children)

No stop

[–]PokinSpokaneSlim 47 points48 points  (4 children)

"what could you possibly need a high powered, semi automatic rifle for?"

[–]danit0ba94 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And now we have an answer to that question! 😂👌

[–]Bannon9k 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've got a friend who hunts them. Though trapping them is closer to what he's doing lately. There's just so many of them in rural North America... You can kill them by the hundreds and it's still not enough. When they go feral they can eat anything, and have no natural predators.

[–]rustombi 85 points86 points  (13 children)

Feral hogs are basically garbage disposals with legs. Seeing one up close changes you.

[–]PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Seen them get really big in Georgia

[–]Zoxphyl 27 points28 points  (2 children)

There was this one case in Georgia I remember attracted international attention when some guy bagged a feral pig (nicknamed “Hogzilla”) claimed to be 12ft/4m long; it even got it's own dedicated National Geographic special (which concluded Hogzilla was actually closer to 8 ft, which is still longer than any mattress I’ve ever slept on).

<image>

[–]nibbyzor 19 points20 points  (1 child)

There was a feral hog loose in our neighbourhood a few years back, we even got a text alert warning everyone to stay inside because they feared it was injured and aggressive. Never saw it, but it passed our house at some point. We know because we could see its hoof prints in the snow the next morning and our dog was going crazy sniffing after it!

[–]50points4gryffindor 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Eat humans. You don't say.

[–]PuzzyFussy 13 points14 points  (3 children)

So many books I've read where they want to get rid of a body, they are taken to a pig farm for disposal. I'm sure many pig farmers have connections with criminal organizations.

[–]Investotron69 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It works to an extent. There are parts the hogs can't digest, which pass through them or are left behind, and that is what gets people caught in these situations.

[–]wastedmytagonporn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Aren’t pigs the victims in both of these. 😅

[–]M1LKB0X32 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Definitely avoid Hannibal then ...

[–]Captain-Codfish 12 points13 points  (4 children)

You should eat more of them. Less of them to scare you

[–]Living-Mastodon 78 points79 points  (3 children)

I was just about to look for the Family Guy pig with fists before it turned around so I'll go with Reggie instead

Processing img 3batppdhb7mg1...

[–]Clementine823 64 points65 points  (18 children)

They parade a male through factory farms to get the females ready for artificial insemination. You can see the rows of females in gestation crates, cages so small they can't turn around, where they spend their entire life until they can no longer reproduce (except for when they nurse the piglets at which point they move to an equally restrictive farrowing crate). If you aren't aware of these practices (which apply to almost all sows in the US) here's more info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestation_crate?wprov=sfla1

[–]Emergency_Row8544 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yea this is so awful. They literally have no room to turn around and this is their life. I was looking for this comment.

[–]Green-Caregiver-5979 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Had to scroll wayyy too far to see a comment on how fucking tragic this whole scene is.

[–]Callaghans_Caps 202 points203 points  (18 children)

Poor thing, selective breeding has ruined it, looks like it’s struggling to walk and the bollocks on the fucking thing

[–]cowlinator 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well that and being locked in a barely pig-sized cage for 23.5 hours a day

[–]morts73 144 points145 points  (6 children)

Got a couple of absolute units.

[–]cheater00 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Hey! It's Cystipig!

[–]Maryjanegangafever 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Covered in abscesses….

[–]carmardoll 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Pigs are the one animal that is always bigger than people expect. A fully grown pig can be as big as a cow just shorter.

[–]Comprehensive_Sir49 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Yeah that's a pretty big OH MY GOD THE BALLS ON THAT THING ARE HUGE!!!

[–]AkirroKun 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Oh wow he has a lot of difficulty walki- Jesus christ the buffalo soldier on this guy"

[–]SoggyAttorney1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

"Wait thats not how titles work here... oh.. oh okay then"

[–]Igormay-s 55 points56 points  (46 children)

Male pigs have a lot of cum in comparison to other animals the same size.

[–]Major_Instance_4766[S] 147 points148 points  (2 children)

[–]the_fake_banksy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good god what a perfect reply. Hilarious.

[–]dartie 38 points39 points  (21 children)

And………………how did you know that?

[–]Igormay-s 26 points27 points  (6 children)

I have searched for it on the Internet. The volume of cum ejaculated by a male 🐷 is many times bigger even in comparison to stallion.

[–]Evorgleb 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Why were you searching for something like that?

[–]danit0ba94 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I bet you have, Junior.

[–]wisedoormat 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Its a regional delicacy

They even use it for Ice Cream, very velvety texture, I've heard

[–]mistad1981 15 points16 points  (3 children)

.,................... Uh.................... You heard? 🤨

[–]et414 13 points14 points  (9 children)

Yeah. i’ve seen them produce half a liter. Good enough to inseminate 40-50 sows. They’re really horny too. If they don’t get collected, they’ll hump the wall.

[–]TekitiZi 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Collected? 🤔

[–]Ugly4merican 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We had a boar who was pretty agressive when he was feeling randy. The trick was to toss a hay bale into the yard to keep him occupied so we could to change food/water/etc. Bro loved himself a barnyard waifu pillow.

[–]lost_caus_e 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Tf kind of hormones are they giving to these pigs and into us

[–]Nightbeak 19 points20 points  (8 children)

His movements seem abnormal. It looks like his skeleton can't really support all that mass

[–]Wooden_Worry3319 16 points17 points  (6 children)

This happens to a lot of caged pigs we eat and free range chickens. Bred for volume and we don’t care about defects or their pain. This is within legal animal agriculture industry practices btw.

[–]obsidian_butterfly 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Ok, but that hog is covered in cysts or tumors. How is nobody else noticing this?

[–]VeganChipmunk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Those tumors are ground up with the rest of the pig and sold in grocery stores.

[–]HERE_COMES_SENAAAAAA 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Brother, may I have some oats?

[–]mania_in_the_trench 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lechonk looks different these days

[–]Sea_Assumption_1528 10 points11 points  (10 children)

Never eating pork again actually. I was right on the edge and this did it for me.

[–]SecretStabbie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The surprise as he turned the corner.🫣

[–]YourPhrenologist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know you’re envious like I am, but the amount of constant and very physical ball-busting is probably not worth it.

[–]infiniteguesses 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think those balls drifted around the corner...

[–]JustWannaPlayAGa 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Dont his balls hurt, flying and smashing like that all the time?

[–]PrinceBunnyBoy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Look at all the female pigs caged up where they can barely move, nobody in these farms cares how much they suffer as long as they can profit off it.

Concrete barren cages, forced to be pregnant and give birth over and over until the mother's body gives out.

[–]totesgonnasmashit 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That’s some huge balls

[–]ExistingFix204 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My balls are always bouncing, my ballroom always full, And everybody comes and comes again!

—Bon Scott, "Big Balls" – AC/DC

[–]Nightbeak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the corridor was any tighter his units would bounce from fence to fence