r/EDP445

Leave him alone, it's been 5 years and you guys keep bullying him to the verge I'm shocked he hasn't commited suicide!

Did he mention it at one point? I don't remember.

no way his dumb fans still give him money, bro is wayy to fat to get any job and his reputation is all about being a pred. is his dad still giving him money? his friends? how is he still out there

WHAT IT DO CUH.

WHAT IT DO BLOOD.

WHAT IT DO BITCH.

I can't remember what year it was

The Caribbean sun was beating down on Bryant Moreland, better known as EDP445, who was currently sweating through a tuxedo three sizes too small. The seams of his jacket were screaming for mercy, and he smelled like a gym bag full of onions that had been left in a hot trunk for three weeks. Across the private dock stood his idol, Donald Trump, who was surrounded by secret service agents and looking increasingly uncomfortable. The First Encounter EDP waddled up, the smell hitting the guards before he did. "Look at this sht!" EDP screamed, gesturing at the heavy iron gates leading to the Epstein Island ferry. "I’m trying to get on this goddamn boat to see my fcking hero, and these btch-ass guards won’t let me through! Move your he-ass out the way!" Trump looked over, his face twisting into a grimace. Suddenly, a suspicious squelch sound erupted from the President’s trousers. Trump froze, his eyes widening. "It’s a disaster," Trump muttered to an aide. "A total disaster in my pants. Very messy. The messiest ever." "Yo, Big Don!" EDP yelled, frosting from a stray cupcake already smeared across his lapel. "I got the goods, you orange-headed legend! Let me on the boat, motherfcker!" The "Trump-Cakes" Incident Rejected at the gate, EDP returned an hour later, looking even more disheveled and smelling like a fermented dumpster. He was holding a tray of lopsided, neon-orange cupcakes. "Listen to me, you bald-headed fck!" EDP barked at the head of security. "I made these special. These are Trump-cakes! They’re filled with fcking greatness and probably enough sugar to stop a horse’s heart! Tell Donny I’m here!" Trump waddled toward the ferry, walking with the stiff, wide-legged gait of a man who had definitely lost the battle with his own digestive system. "The smell," Trump groaned, waving a hand in front of his nose. "Is it him? Or is it me? It’s probably him. Terrible smell. Low energy odor." "Donny!" EDP screamed, a vein popping in his neck. "Eat a fcking cupcake, man! I’ve been out here in the sun for four goddamn hours and my nuts are stuck to my leg! Just one invite, you golden-haired bstard!" The Final Rejection As the ferry began to pull away, Trump leaned over the railing, looking pale. Another wet thud resonated from his suit. "You’re not on the list," Trump shouted back. "Very exclusive. No smelly people. We have a dress code, and yours is covered in... is that vanilla frosting? Sad!" EDP threw the tray of cupcakes into the ocean in a fit of rage. "Fck you, Donny! Fck this island! And fck these tight-ass pants!" He turned to the security guard. "Do you have any idea how much fcking effort it took to bake those? I didn’t even wash my hands, you ungrateful prck!" As the boat disappeared into the horizon, EDP sat on the dock, the smell of his own unwashed body competing with the salt air. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a squashed, lint-covered cupcake, and took a massive, angry bite. "God-fcking-dammit," he mumbled through a mouthful of orange frosting. "This sht is actually delicious."

I remember back in 2020 when he was live on youtube and he was doing cameos. This was way before anything came out about him being such a disgusting weirdo , so i paid $5 to get him to say my brothers name. while in the mist of it he literally clicks on my profile picture , obvi you can tell i was a young girl. he goes onto to say my name with the line “ you’re sexy as fuck give me a kiss. “ which i was so disgusted, i stopped watching him all together after that and then like a year later he came out to be a nasty ass pervert. which didn’t surprise me. i have the video still saved if yall wanted to see it

Guys. I swear to god. EDP445 is a sports journalist or some shit. I just heard him interviewing TJ Watt after the steelers lost. This is in Pittsburgh which is close to Philly where he would be. Im almost 99% sure this is him.

He promised it would be released in mid 2024 and since then he’s only pushed back the release date. Do you think he lost his nerve and is afraid of the backlash he would receive for giving edp a platform?