Member-only story
The Interview Process I Do With Every Potential Lover
Just like the old saying: “measure twice, cut once”. Having this process hasn’t made dating perfect (I just exited a codependent relationship for crying out loud), but it has given me some order and cut out a lot of unnecessary heartbreak.
So the list of questions, the vetting process, whatever you want to call it, goes a little something like this. Of course this process isn’t perfect (nothing is), but it does help prepare you for the relationship, if you decided they’re still someone worth pursuing after you go through this process.
Actually before my ex, there were 2 girls that I did this with and discovered that we weren’t going to work out long term (drastically different future life goals, etc.). It’s a lot easier to say no and break things off before things even begin.
This list is a good starting point but I always tweak and edit things as I see them fit. I might change the order of the question, the ones I ask, or even how much I weigh on each answer. The most important thing to know is that this is more an art than a science, and the goal is information discovery. Just because someone is different from you doesn’t mean they are less than you, so make sure to treat everyone with respect.