venushunger
u/venushunger
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Compact
The LBRP practiced daily will strengthen your astral protection. It is a powerful and effective ritual. A “one and done” cleansing is not going to help with someone who has such a strong will to impact you. Get practicing it every day, get the archangels on your side. Change your mindset. Protect yourself. If there is any subconscious part of you that invites being “preyed upon”, that part of you needs dialogue and rerouting.
Interpretation Help
He acknowledged and agreed that we wouldn't be forming new connections, I then went to clarify the agreement again right before he left to double check we were both on the same page about this, and he said the "i love you," etc. So he evaded answering me on this, having agreed it previously before, and then did it anyway.
Yes, there are layers of concern here with the communication and evading direct responses to questions. And putting my sexual health at risk. I was really shocked (by all of it) but the "excited to tell me" felt very off indeed...He has been an unsafe partner. I don't know if focussing on us for some time and really digging into educating himself will help in future. All feels very raw right now. Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it.
Boundaries & Agreements
TL/DR: Partner broke safe sex agreements, cheated??, forgot our safe sex agreements and didn't communicate openly/honestly
So, it's been a tricky year in the polyam world this year. I broke up with two nesting partners in Jan (we were in a triad), and they asked me to leave the home we shared. I couldn't find a home in the area I live in the time they gave me, so I ended up moving in with another partner as I had no other options (I'll call him Willow). It's been a tough year. Willow and I have been together a year and a half. Since then, we've become much closer and they've been a real support.
Willow travels a lot for work, which has been OK but left me feeling like my core needs haven't been met in terms of quality time, sex, and intimacy. I've been doing all the legwork trying to find us a new home while he's been away. (9 and 1/2 weeks since May).
Willow is new to polyamory, though has experience with open relationships. I however have been practicing for 10 years with 4 years monogamy in the middle of that. Before he went away for a long trip in August, I cried in front of him and told him I was feeling really insecure about our relationship. We'd agreed end of July not to explore new connections until things were feeling settled. I asked him how he felt about this agreement while he is travelling and whether he felt that included casual encounters. His reply was "I love you, and I'm not going to hurt you or put our relationship in jeopardy."
Fast forward three weeks, and he's just come back. After 3 days reconnecting, Willow told me that he had 'connected' with someone while away on this work trip, and they actually spent two nights' renting an AirBNB and exploring this city together. Apparently he 'did not expect it' to happen so didn't register this as an issue...Not good. He also told me on Sunday night right before I was going to bed (and my work is feeling quite tricky right now). He told me he was 'excited to tell me'...Which felt quite painful given that we agreed no new connections.
I told Willow he did not meet my standards for communication and was very up front that he had broken an agreement. I still felt uncomfortable yesterday and my mind was niggling a bit, so I asked him if he'd practiced safe sex with this person. He didn't, and, managed to forget we'd agreed with any new partners we'd use a barrier/condom.
I'm feeling really hurt and just need some support and opinions, really. He's since said he doesn't want to practice polyamory right now or ever again. I said I wasn't asking for that...but that we needed to focus on us for a while. He has apologised and taken ownership of getting it wrong. I've been clear that I do want this relationship but that I won't stay if my heart isn't taken care of.
Any thoughts/suggestions for repair would be helpful.
TL/DR: Partner broke safe sex agreements, cheated??, forgot our safe sex agreements and didn't communicate openly/honestly.
So, it's been a tricky year in the polyam world this year. I broke up with two nesting partners in Jan (we were in a triad), and they asked me to leave the home we shared. I couldn't find a home in the area I live in the time they gave me, so I ended up moving in with another partner as I had no other options (I'll call him Willow). It's been a tough year. Willow and I have been together a year and a half. Since then, we've become much closer and they've been a real support.
Willow travels a lot for work, which has been OK but left me feeling like my core needs haven't been met in terms of quality time, sex, and intimacy. I've been doing all the legwork trying to find us a new home while he's been away. (9 and 1/2 weeks since May).
Willow is new to polyamory, though has experience with open relationships. I however have been practicing for 10 years with 4 years monogamy in the middle of that. Before he went away for a long trip in August, I cried in front of him and told him I was feeling really insecure about our relationship. We'd agreed end of July not to explore new connections until things were feeling settled. I asked him how he felt about this agreement while he is travelling and whether he felt that included casual encounters. His reply was "I love you, and I'm not going to hurt you or put our relationship in jeopardy."
Fast forward three weeks, and he's just come back. After 3 days reconnecting, Willow told me that he had 'connected' with someone while away on this work trip, and they actually spent two nights' renting an AirBNB and exploring this city together. Apparently he 'did not expect it' to happen so didn't register this as an issue...Not good. He also told me on Sunday night right before I was going to bed (and my work is feeling quite tricky right now). He told me he was 'excited to tell me'...Which felt quite painful given that we agreed no new connections.
I told Willow he did not meet my standards for communication and was very up front that he had broken an agreement. I still felt uncomfortable yesterday and my mind was niggling a bit, so I asked him if he'd practiced safe sex with this person. He didn't, and, managed to forget we'd agreed with any new partners we'd use a barrier/condom.
I'm feeling really hurt and just need some support and opinions, really. He's since said he doesn't want to practice polyamory right now or ever again. I said I wasn't asking for that...but that we needed to focus on us for a while. He has apologised and taken ownership of getting it wrong. I've been clear that I do want this relationship but that I won't stay if my heart isn't taken care of.
Any thoughts/suggestions for repair would be helpful.
Can you help me? (Advice wanted)
I'm travelling to the Azores and staying on Pico from 2nd May - 10th, then Horta from 10th to 13th. I'm incredibly excited to come and visit!
I don't have loads of things planned at the moment. My partner does some of the whale watching tours, so I've booked onto three of those. I can't wait for those, as I've wanted to see whales since I was tiiiiiny!
Anything that I NEED to eat, drink, see, experience...while I'm visiting?
Thank you! : )
I’m a Libra sun and I was completely heartbroken by a cancer. I have a Scorpio stellium and they have a Leo stellium. When it worked it was incredible, and when it didn’t, it was completely destructive. I now have a Capricorn lover and a Virgo lover, and find earth signs to be a very good match for me nowadays. ❤️🔥
Oh awesome! So glad you liked it…He’s such a compelling speaker but also really easy to understand. And the practices are so helpful, I’ve been doing them every day for about 3/4 weeks and really noticing a difference. In particular I really enjoy strengthening and purifying my aura every day, I notice a significant decrease in the negativity I encounter. Just seems to bounce off or not come close. Good luck! : )) P.s. Echols also has a couple of books worth looking at! High Magick in particular…
Hey OP. I am a bodyworker/somatic therapist and energy worker by day and my best advice is to keep yourself grounded. Transpersonal energies can take you out of your body so make sure you nourish yourself physically with food, particularly root vegetables. connect with the literal ground, bring your awareness/consciousness further down to the earth and lower down in your body than up in your mind. Do normal things, disconnect and allow yourself to disconnect at times. It is ok to intermittently retreat in order to digest the presence and awesomeness of your encounter. If you’re able to, sleep at least eight hours. If you are on medication keep taking it. These should help keep you feeling well…human. I completely empathise with not wanting to have your career and life derailed. Perhaps work is something that can also help keep you grounded. Take care!
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Libra Sun in 8th house (Scorpio vibes), Scorpio in Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Pluto, and North Node here. I’m polyamorous. I think it’s entirely possible, but it’s all about trust and communication. Having multiple partners is satisfying but if you experience a lot of jealousy it can be tricky for Scorpio people. Transparency and honesty is really key to polyamory flourishing so I think that can be reassuring for naturally suspicious Scorpios. It can feel really liberating to be around people that take ownership of what they want and you often know where you are with people who are also poly. I’m very much aligned with the transformative/liberatory energy of Scorpio and leaning into taboo/challenging the norm. So while lots of people say it’s a fuck no, I think there’s benefits to it!
Ahhh yes. Totally could be. I’m feeling very close to Lilith right now and engaging in some deity worship with her so I feel She could also be a fit but I know it’s not necessarily one of her familiars/animals…I will take a closer look at Hecate/Morrigan. I’m definitely feeling how thin the veil is right now and have been thinking about ancestors too…I’m sure there’s a thread! 🕷
Hey! Just for clarity my primary partner (M) and I were living together until this week. I was spending one night a month with the other person I’m seeing (NB).
There were definitely other things that caused me concern with my PP, often in conflict I was unheard, a lot of defence, shouting. There was a lot of dysregulation, confusion and panic attacks. Intimidating behaviour at times and I didn’t always feel safe to fully express what I wanted or needed.
My partner would see lots of people casually whereas I was only really dating one person which caused a LOT of envy and jealousy.
I’m still seeing the other person.
Hey! In answer to your question. My partner read my messages at the very beginning with the first person I had sex with back in March so way before he asked to close. I can see now there was a lot of insecurity and I wish so badly I could’ve paused it all then.
I did offer to close the relationship, stop doing ENM and that I still wanted to live together, to do the work. We were talking about couples therapy and making things better the day he decided he wanted to separate. But he said he doesn’t think closing will help now and didn’t accept my proposal to close. He’s said he needs space to heal and staying living together is not an option because it’s been so so rough and I truly want to give that space, a part of me is just in some serious bargaining. I wish there was something I could do but I believe I have to let this go and see if it will return 😢
