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Why Do We Keep Tabs on People We Can’t Stand? Understanding the Psychology Behind Our Obsession.

6 min readNov 24, 2023

People often find themselves keeping tabs on those they can’t stand, whether it be an ex-partner, a former friend, or a coworker. In a world where social media is a part of everyday life, it’s easier than ever to keep tabs on others. But why do people feel the need to do this, and what are the psychological and societal impacts of this behavior?

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The psychology behind keeping tabs on people you can’t stand is complex. According to experts, it can be a way for people to feel a sense of control over a situation or person that they feel powerless against. It can also be a way to alleviate feelings of jealousy or insecurity, as people compare themselves to those they are keeping tabs on. Additionally, it can be a way to seek revenge or validation, as people want to see if the person they can’t stand is struggling or failing in some way.

Social media has made it even easier to keep tabs on people, as people can follow or friend those they can’t stand and see updates on their lives. However, this behavior can have personal consequences, such as increased stress and anxiety, and societal consequences, such as perpetuating a culture of negativity and hate. It’s important to understand why people engage in this behavior and how it can impact both the individual and…

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Kotatee Tamba, PsyD

Written by Kotatee Tamba, PsyD

I am a clinical psychologist who helps individuals navigate life's complexities. I'm also passionate about making mental health accessible through writing.

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