Member-only story
29 Terms For the Sexual Act and How To Use Them
Have fun while expanding your vocabulary
The world is in a parlous state, and it can be difficult to tear ourselves away from the latest news about climate catastrophe, fascist revivalism, and robot rebellion. But if there’s one topic sufficiently fascinating to distract us from our relentless doomscrolling, it’s the human reproductive act. Indeed, it’s been said, mostly by me, that the three pillars on which the online world rests are cats, conspiracy and coitus.
For entertainment and understanding, I offer below a list of some common words and phrases describing the sexual act, alphabetized for your pleasure. There are no doubt dozens that I’ve missed; feel free to add your favourites in the comments.
Banging
PG-13 with a hint of raciness, and implies a fast, noisy encounter. Also “finger-bang”, a variation which can be performed surreptitiously in the back of an Uber.
Boning
Approximately ten percent dirtier than banging, and presumably derived from the verbification of “bone” as a flattering reference to the solidity of the male erection. There’s a potential joke here about the difference between a pregnant woman and a fish which I challenge you to figure out.
