TLDR: There's a script on archive.today to make your browser silently spam requests to a certain site, with the intention of using the combined traffic of all archive.today vistors to DDoS that site. Do not visit archive.today/archive.ph/archive.is/etc with javascript enabled. Rearchive all archive.ph links to megalodon.jp wherever you see them.
https://gyrovague.com/2026/02/01/archive-today-is-directing-a-ddos-attack-against-my-blog/

ResourceJak

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(You) VILL fix and archive them for future soyteens.

A screenshot of the title screen with ResourceJak installed.

ResourceJak is a resource pack for Minecraft: Java Edition created by Hellcat for the primary purpose of removing Mojank's pozloaded globohomo splash messages from the game's title screen and replacing them with keyed and gemmy references to sharty culture. As of the current release (v.1.0.1), JE versions 1.16.5, 1.17.1, 1.18.2, and 1.20.1 are officially supported.

This page will serve as the resource pack's documentation, changelog, and host permanent links to sites where it can be downloaded, since it is exceedingly unlikely to ever be allowed on CurseForge, Modrinth, or other commonly-used distribution platforms. To suggest new splash messages to be included in the next release version, or to report any bugs, please open a new discussion on this page's Talk page.

Features[edit | edit source]

Splash messages (as of v.1.0.1)[edit | edit source]

# Splash text Version added⠀
1 11.3.2021 - NEVER FORGET v.1.0.0
2 99% brimstone free! v.1.0.1
3 99% coal free! v.1.0.0
4 A 'jak a day keeps the meds away! v.1.0.0
5 A baby genetically engineered to mine gems! v.1.0.0
6 A24-produced slow-burn kino! v.1.0.0
7 ACK! v.1.0.1
8 Arizona will never be a real woman! v.1.0.0
9 Backed by science! v.1.0.0
10 Because, uh... i-it just is, okay? v.1.0.0
11 Biblically accurate! v.1.0.0
12 Billions must 'JAK. v.1.0.0
13 Billions must ACK. v.1.0.0
14 Billions must CRAFT. v.1.0.0
15 Billions must MINE. v.1.0.1
16 Billions must DIE. v.1.0.0
17 BMT free! v.1.0.0
18 Bow down, niggers! v.1.0.0
19 Bright blue cat! v.1.0.0
20 Bugs? They're to be eaten! v.1.0.0
21 Bug rations now available! v.1.0.0
22 bumo v.1.0.0
23 BUT COMMANDER, THE ONLY HAM-ASS WE SEE HERE IS YOURS! v.1.0.1
24 cacacaaaaaaacaggcaghsjsjhsjksns momamamamamooooomm v.1.0.1
25 Calm down little Liberal! I FOUND YOUR BINKY v.1.0.1
26 Can you hear me, Major Cob? v.1.0.0
27 CeceFem will never be a real woman! v.1.0.1
28 Certified gemerald! v.1.0.0
29 Check vaccination, and may Science be with you! v.1.0.0
30 chino on the title screen! v.1.0.0
31 Chud it up! v.1.0.0
32 COBSON GOT THE GEMMY >THOUGH! v.1.0.0
33 Cobson-san, daisuki! v.1.0.0
34 Confirmed by Snopes! v.1.0.0
35 COOOOOOOOOOOB GAAAAAAAAANG! v.1.0.0
36 Death for Berryboy! v.1.0.0
37 Delete /pol/! v.1.0.0
38 Deuteronomy 22:5! v.1.0.1
39 Doctor Fauci, give us vaccines! v.1.0.1
40 Don't forget to take your meds! v.1.0.0
41 Do NOT go to Capitol Reef National Park at 3 AM. v.1.0.1
42 Do not investigate further. v.1.0.0
43 DO YOU ENJOY POSTING GEMS? v.1.0.0
44 Do you have any peer-reviewed studies to back that claim? v.1.0.0
45 Do you like my 'jak, 'jak, 'jak my gemmy 'jak, 'jak? v.1.0.0
46 Drink the soy! v.1.0.0
47 Drinking Soylent, ingesting bugs! v.1.0.0
48 Eat the bugs! v.1.0.0
49 erm what the spruce!? v.1.0.1
50 Fingerboy-free! v.1.0.0
51 Free of SELFISH LITTLE FUCKS! v.1.0.0
52 Free Robux! v.1.0.1
53 frooby froob v.1.0.1
54 fr fr no cap v.1.0.1
55 gagagagagagaooooooooooo v.1.0.1
56 gem btw v.1.0.0
57 gem... holy gem... v.1.0.1
58 Gem checked by real soyjak.party patriots! v.1.0.0
59 Gem. GEM. WE'VE GOT A GEM HERE! v.1.0.0
60 Gemmy! v.1.0.0
61 Glistening, gleaming gemerald! v.1.0.0
62 Gloink, what a badass. He deserves that blunt. v.1.0.1
63 Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub Glub v.1.0.0
64 god entered into my body, as a body, the same size v.1.0.1
65 Go forth, my personal army! v.1.0.0
66 Go up! v.1.0.0
67 GOING INTO SHARTY WORLD MACHINE v.1.0.0
68 Goonclown will never be a real woman! v.1.0.1
69 Have you tried giving up and using hard drugs? v.1.0.0
70 Heaven for free thinkers! v.1.0.0
71 Hecking wholesome! v.1.0.0
72 hey little buddies v.1.0.1
73 HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE SOIBOY WOJAK COLLECTION! v.1.0.0
74 Holy gemerald! v.1.0.0
75 HWABAG! v.1.0.0
76 I am off my meds and on the online! v.1.0.1
77 I AM GOD HERE! v.1.0.0
78 I AM NOT OBSESSED I AM NOT OBSESSED I AM NOT OBSESSED I AM NOT OBSESSED v.1.0.0
79 i don't want to have to explain to my friends what a fucking "soyjak" is and why i am one now v.1.0.0
80 I FUCKING LOVE FENTANYL! v.1.0.1
81 I F*CKING LOVE SCIENCE! v.1.0.0
82 I HATE ADMIN 6 I HATE ADMIN 6 v.1.0.1
83 I hereby formally invite you to soyjak.party. v.1.0.0
84 I know how to kill with my fingers. v.1.0.0
85 I say this and look like this. v.1.0.0
86 I think its kinda funny how I can do like this thing where I ban anyone I dont like, its like my own private discord! v.1.0.1
87 I WANT (You) for my PERSONAL ARMY! v.1.0.0
88 Incomprehensible! v.1.0.0
89 Injected with science juice! v.1.0.0
90 IT'S JOEVER. v.1.0.0
91 IT'S. JUST. WATER WEIGHT. v.1.0.1
92 IT'S OVER. v.1.0.0
93 IT'S OVER JUST GETTING STARTED v.1.0.0
94 Jay Louis Irwin 132 N 5th St Apt 3a, Brooklyn, NY 11249-3259 v.1.0.1
95 Just. Fuck. Off. v.1.0.0
96 Just waiting for a duel... v.1.0.0
97 Keyed! v.1.0.0
98 Kill 4cuckers. Behead 4cuckers. Roundhouse kick a 4cucker into the concrete. v.1.0.0
99 Kill creepers. Behead creepers. Roundhouse kick a creeper into the concrete. v.1.0.0
100 Kill jannies. Behead jannies. Roundhouse kick a janny into the concrete. v.1.0.0
101 Kill Red. Behead Red. Roundhouse kick Red into the concrete. v.1.0.1
102 KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ! v.1.0.0
103 KUZ IS WATCHING YOU. v.1.0.0
104 Let all the soyteens boogie! v.1.0.0
105 Let's make the most of this raid, like we're getting banned young! v.1.0.0
106 lolkek will never be a real woman! v.1.0.1
107 Marge? v.1.0.0
108 Max must die! v.1.0.1
109 Medicated! v.1.0.0
110 Meds. NOW. v.1.0.0
111 Money opportunitys v.1.0.1
112 Never keep an odd trig exponent! v.1.0.0
113 New 'toss! v.1.0.0
114 nigga i'm NUTS! v.1.0.0
115 nigger v.1.0.0
116 NIGGER! v.1.0.0
117 No matter what year it is Kuznetsov will always be a legend ♥ ♥ v.1.0.0
118 No more chuddies jumping on the bed! v.1.0.0
119 Nobody says this. v.1.0.0
120 OH MY FAUCI! v.1.0.0
121 OH MY SCIENCE! v.1.0.0
122 Oh no, a soyjak! Now your day is ruined! v.1.0.0
123 OMGSISA! v.1.0.0
124 Once I find the perfect soyjak to portray you as, your life is fucking OVER... v.1.0.0
125 Orion Grant Passmore 402 E Camino Lomas, Tucson, AZ 85704 v.1.0.1
126 Out of the coal came forth sweetness. v.1.0.0
127 Plan status: TRVSTED. v.1.0.1
128 Peer-reviewed! v.1.0.0
129 Poopson is coming... v.1.0.1
130 Proven by recent studies! v.1.0.0
131 Psssst... CTFU (Chud The Fuck Up) v.1.0.0
132 READY FOR ROUND 2, CHUD? v.1.0.0
133 Ready-to-drink! v.1.0.0
134 retvrn to /caca/borea v.1.0.1
135 RIP /qa/! v.1.0.0
136 RIP Baby Sneed! v.1.0.0
137 RIP Dr. Soyberg! v.1.0.0
138 RIP Kuz! v.1.0.1
139 RIP Poog! v.1.0.1
140 RIP Soot (the founder of Discord)! 1889 - 1945 v.1.0.0
141 Sew your ears on! v.1.0.0
142 SHARTY CULTURE IS... LE GOOD! v.1.0.0
143 Sharty culture! v.1.0.0
144 skibidi bop bop bop yes yes v.1.0.1
145 Society is collapsing. v.1.0.0
146 Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! v.1.0.1
147 Sooby soob! v.1.0.0
148 sooooorbsoooobyssoooob pooopppopoooocacaca v.1.0.1
149 splashcord woke up v.1.0.1
150 Sponsored by Sproke! v.1.0.0
151 Swedish win! v.1.0.0
152 SWIGGTY SWOOTY, PINEJAK IS SHAKING THAT BOOTY! v.1.0.0
153 Tell soot I love him very much. (He knows!) v.1.0.0
154 THAT'S MY THREAD! GET UP IN THEY REPLIES! v.1.0.0
155 The brightest of gems! v.1.0.0
156 The gem that saved the sharty! v.1.0.0
157 The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. v.1.0.0
158 The men on Omaha Beach died for this! v.1.0.0
159 The West has fallen. v.1.0.0
160 There's a party, a jakker's paradise! v.1.0.0
161 They appear in the pupils! v.1.0.0
162 This is gem control to Major Cob! v.1.0.0
163 This is my ridge. v.1.0.0
164 This nigga lookin' ZESTY! This nigga lookin' MOIST! v.1.0.0
165 This splash message requires a Soyjak GEM ACCOUNT™ to view. v.1.0.0
166 This, so much this! v.1.0.0
167 TND! v.1.0.0
168 To be completely honest, I'm starting to worry about some of you. v.1.0.0
169 Total sharty victory! v.1.0.0
170 Trusted by experts! v.1.0.0
171 TRVTHNUKE INCOMING! v.1.0.1
172 TTD! v.1.0.0
173 TVVO MORE VVEEKS! v.1.0.1
174 Two steps ahead. I am ALWAYS two steps ahead. v.1.0.0
175 uwu must die! v.1.0.0
176 Verified gem! v.1.0.0
177 WE POST COB, COB, COB, COB, COB, NIGGA! v.1.0.0
178 We're so back. v.1.0.0
179 WELKOM IN! v.1.0.0
180 What the actual *FUCK* is this resource pack? v.1.0.0
181 WHAT. THE. LE. ACTUAL. FUCK? v.1.0.0
182 Who are you quoting? v.1.0.0
183 Why can't we be gems? v.1.0.0
184 Woo, /qa/! v.1.0.0
185 Woo, /soy/! v.1.0.0
186 Woo, /craft/! v.1.0.1
187 Woo, /an/! v.1.0.1
188 Woo, booru.soy! v.1.0.0
189 Woo, Five Nights at Cobson's! v.1.0.1
190 Woo, Kiwi Farms! v.1.0.0
191 Woo, MATI! v.1.0.0
192 Woo, Soycraft! v.1.0.0
193 Woo, soyjak.party! v.1.0.0
194 Woo, Soyjak Party Video Archive! v.1.0.1
195 Woo, Soyjak Wiki! v.1.0.1
196 Woo, soytopia! v.1.0.1
197 Woo, Soytube Kids! v.1.0.0
198 Yakub's greatest creation! v.1.0.1
199 You appear to have mistyped the kaptcha! v.1.0.0
200 You are so stupid, it's genuinely absurd. v.1.0.0
201 You WILL drink the piss. v.1.0.0
202 You WILL eat the bugs. v.1.0.0
203 You WILL live in the pod. v.1.0.0
204 You WILL own nothing. v.1.0.0
205 You WILL trust the science. v.1.0.0
206 Zoo wee mama, now that's a grade-A sluterino! v.1.0.0
207 -ACK! v.1.0.0
208 ...He's right behind me, isn't he? v.1.0.0
209 /qa/ is blue, and there's nothing I can do. v.1.0.0
210 /qa/ won! v.1.0.0
211 >Aww, sweet! A schizo splash message! v.1.0.0
212 >doe v.1.0.0
213 >DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city! v.1.0.0
214 >homo milk - it's all i ever drink - jeb_ v.1.0.0
215 >homo milk - it's all i ever drink - op v.1.0.0
216 >IT'S DA JOOOOOOOZ! v.1.0.0
217 >thougbeit v.1.0.0
218 >though v.1.0.0
219 >thoughever v.1.0.0
220 >wordswordswords v.1.0.0
221 Yes, Japsterdam *is* real v.1.0.0
222 >you just made this? Well done anon you want your dick sucked? v.1.0.0
223 Color color, color color, colorjak! v.1.0.0
224 (USER WAS PERMANENTLY BANNED FOR THIS SPLASH MESSAGE) v.1.0.0
225 Posting from your IP range has been blocked due to abuse. v.1.0.0
226 Ϫ v.1.0.0
227 ♫ Own nothing, be happy! ♫ v.1.0.1
228 ¡ARGENTINA ES BLANCA! v.1.0.1
229 Слава России! v.1.0.0
230 الصويا v.1.0.0
231 Bronies, this is your mindset. v.1.0.0
232 Burn to death. v.1.0.0
233 Die out. v.1.0.0
234 DOXING! MODS! v.1.0.0
235 Drink bleach. v.1.0.0
236 For some reason, you thought that posting this would put you on the moral high ground. v.1.0.0
237 Get killed. v.1.0.0
238 int-friendly.png v.1.0.0
239 It smell like cheese! v.1.0.0
240 IYDMTSMTWBAP v.1.0.0
241 I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore, I really did fuck that dog. v.1.0.0
242 (qa-friendly.png) v.1.0.0
243 Marge, I'm confused. v.1.0.0
244 Missed cheese! v.1.0.0
245 >God, I'm so epic by posting this! v.1.0.0
246 Tracer's feet! v.1.0.0
247 NECK YOURSELF JUSTPASSINGTHROUGH v.1.0.0
248 OREGON WILL BE NUKED CC v.1.0.0
249 STOP FUCKING HARASSING ME VENDETTAFAG v.1.0.0
250 THE OUTBACK WILL BE NUKED AUSFREAK v.1.0.0
251 YOU'LL BE DROPPED OFF THE EIFFEL TOWER FILTHY FRANC v.1.0.0
252 YOU'LL BE DROWNED IN THE FUCKING THAMES BRITISH SCUM v.1.0.0

Item name changes[edit | edit source]

Original name New name Version added
Emerald Gemerald v.1.0.1
Emerald Ore Gemerald Ore v.1.0.1
Deepslate Emerald Ore Deepslate Gemerald Ore v.1.0.1
Block of Emerald Block of Gemerald v.1.0.1
Netherrack Brimstone v.1.0.1

Changelog[edit | edit source]

v.1.0.1 (Latest release)[edit | edit source]

  • Java Edition 1.20.1 is now officially supported.
  • Language support added for English (AU), English (CA), English (NZ), and English (UK) (it's literally the same .lang file just renamed doe).
  • The number of splash messages has increased by 48 for a total of 252.
  • The TND End Poem has been expanded.
  • Item name changes have been implemented (see above table for version history).
  • Swaglord's dox has been updated.
  • "Woo, KolymaNET!" splash message removed due to KolymaNET's dissolution.
  • Removed Rapeson.

v.1.0.0 (Initial release)[edit | edit source]

  • Initial release. 204 splash messages are present, and all of Mojank's have been removed (with the exception of MISSINGNO, which is hard-coded into the game for some fucking reason).
  • The End Poem has been changed from some boring metaphysical drivel to TND.

Download links[edit | edit source]

v.1.0.1 (Recommended)[edit | edit source]

v.1.0.0[edit | edit source]

See also[edit | edit source]

Retrieved from "https://soyjakwiki.org/index.php?title=ResourceJak&oldid=180662"