Wronged lover loses in court

A cheating heart is not a crime, an Ontario judge has told a woman who sued her ex-lover for hiding that he was married.

Eunwoo Lee wanted $225,000 in damages from the man who two-timed her for 3½ years and married his other lover behind her back.

John Riley's infidelity was tantamount to fraud and his lies meant their intimate relationship was a series of sexual assaults, Ms. Lee argued.

But Madam Justice Nancy Backhouse threw out Ms. Lee's lawsuit yesterday in a ruling that made clear the courts are not the place to mend a broken heart.

"The defendant's conduct, as alleged, is morally reprehensible and disgraceful," the Ontario Superior Court judge said.

"Nevertheless, the law has never punished, either criminally or in civil proceedings, the untruths, half-truths and other inducements which accompany seduction, absent a fraudulent relationship or the presence of a known serious transmittable disease."

Lawyer Ernest Guiste told reporters he will advise Ms. Lee to appeal the decision. He said a nation that extends common-law status to couples who live together for one year must recognize the obligations men and women take on when they say "I love you."

"If misrepresentation is made by one party and the other party relies on it, that's fraud," Mr. Guiste said. "Ms. Lee was hurt by this. We're human beings, not animals."

Neither Ms. Lee nor Mr. Riley, both of whom are 37, were in court to hear the decision yesterday and both rejected requests through their lawyers for interviews.

Ms. Lee, who owns a video store in Toronto, said in her statement of claim that she became so distraught when she learned that Mr. Riley had been seeing another woman throughout their relationship -- and married her in the midst of it -- that she was hospitalized and had to take medications.

She would never have had sex with him if she had known he was unfaithful, she said in her claim.

Mr. Riley, who lives in Chicago where the couple met in 1997 while studying for their MBAs, has a different version of events, according to lawyer Lorne Wolfson.

"All sorts of people say all sorts of things to each other," Mr. Wolfson said. "It's not always exactly as it seems."

Judge Backhouse told the court the law cannot protect people from romantic partners who merely lie.

"Relationships involve risk-taking," she said. "People should be honest but it is well known that frequently they are not."

Andrea Melin, who represented Mr. Riley with Mr. Wolfson, said she believes Mr. Riley is still married to the other woman, whom he wed in 1999 after a 10-year relationship.

Ms. Lee found out about Mr. Riley's wife when she phoned his home in Chicago in April, 2001, triggering the lawsuit.