TooManyTongues
u/TooManyTongues
Dude, my 41 year old boyfriend with no savings account and lives in a vehicle just gave me shit for not initiating the conversation about having kids. I was like, sir… I chose you because you are the perfect man to NOT have kids with. If you wanted that you should have framed your life waaaay differently to have attracted a different kind of women. For context, I’m the breadwinner. Basically he’d like me to birth, house, support and raise his child while he hangs out and tosses the old pig skin every few days.
Haha aw thank you. The pics on my page are from 7 months back when I was really deep into an eating disorder relapse. Not long after I posted those pics I got really sick from it and needed to recover again. Now I’m 5 months into “recovery” and dealing with the health aftermath of that relapse as well as issues with binging and thus - weight gain. This is my pattern and why I subscribe to this subreddit… The dysmorphia pushes me to restrict my food and then binge till I feel awful and so on and so forth.
It depends on the kind of scent whether it’s cause for concern. Have him describe it and take a sample of it yourself. If it’s fishy, or sour or breadish will determine whether or not you need to go to the doc or if he’s just being immature.
Also, I’m confused about the ovulating thing. Do you experience a stronger scent when you are ovulating? Is that why you mention that?
It feels like the urge to urinate almost all the time located only on my vulva and urethra (except for the first 10 minutes after a go to the bathroom). it feels like i really have to pee but I can tell that my bladder isn't actually full because I don't feel any bladder pressure if i press my bladder.
I take Allegra, DAO enzymes before eating breakfast and prelief before having anything acidic if I want to be naughty (like drink coffee or something), I also take a histamine safe pro biotic before bed, D-mannose to prevent actual UTIs and this other sup called bladder ease. I also take AZO max strength when I feel a flare coming on and it usually knocks it out alright unless it’s a big flare.
Yes! It’s a pain to have histamine intolerance and the only popular way to populate one’s gut with good bacteria are histamine rich foods like ferments and probiotics BUT you can strengthen your gut biome in other ways. You can feed the good bacteria with pre-biotics which are not histamine rich. Pre biotic foods are soluble fiber that feed and benefit the good bacteria in your gut. You can do this while also starving the bad bacteria by not eating processed foods, alcohol and sugar. Hopefully this will create an environment in your gut over time where you can begin to introduce light ferments and eventually get back to a more tolerant and less inflamed baseline
This is likely because of the restriction and its effects on your gut biome over time. Your gut would need time to heal after a long duration of eating normally. I had a very extreme case of IBS after my Ana rock bottom for almost two years post recover but eventually my gut healed and I got to spent many years with a very normal digestive system - till I relapsed of course and here we are at square one. 🤡
Have you looked into GI-mapping tests? It’s a stool sample test that can determine if you have gut dysbiosis (which simply means an imbalance In the gut biome). In people with autoimmune conditions, it’s highly likely that this is the case. When the gut biome is imbalanced it can cause your system to over produce histamines, have issues processing histamines and/or become hyper sensitive to histamines. Histamines flush out through the bladder so if you’re having inflammation due to overproduction or hypersensitivity you can developed IC. If you’re looking for a systemic causation this is worth looking into.
This is devastatingly true. I’m 31 and I’m dealing with the consequences in ways i never have. I knew I was doing this to myself all along but to actually live the consequences now brings up so much regret.
You don’t have to be underweights to deal with repercussions of food restriction and purging. You can look totally normal and be sick enough for recovery. I’m a living example of this
You literally never know what someone is going through. Judging someone at the gym for their lack of progress is so short sided. People deal with chronic illness, injury, depression, grief, there are so many factors why one would be lifting the same weight as last year. I make progress, then regress or purposefully lift lighter, all for different reasons… I’m so paranoid about coming across people like that while I’m lifting just in case they’re clocking my weights. Im sorry this happened.
100%. I’ve already reached my rock bottom many years ago and got very close to not surviving it. I tried the whole death-wish version of the Ana experience and the repercussions were tragic and not something I want to repeat. Now my relapses are scientifically and obsessively calculated to keep me where I am comfortable without destroying me. Just because I eat everyday doesn’t mean I’m not mentally and physically exhausted and struggling with this disorder that I’ve had since I was 11… sharing my struggles with people who don’t get it can be so triggering because of the invalidation. That’s why I participate in this subreddit. Thank god for it
Dude I hate this too. I eat like 5 times a day… really tasty, creative meals and snacks but weighed out by the gram and strategically calorie modified and mixed with over-exercising to compensate. My life is rigid, strict and ruled by my obsession with being in a calorie deficit but I eat. I’m disordered but also very concerned with trying to not die lol So when someone close to me tries to help me by asking me if I’ve eaten today or what I’ve eaten or they say “please eat for me” with puppy dog eyes, I feel like a fraud! lol
My prescription got worse by a tad after a year or two but the typography of my corneas stabilized meaning the KC didn’t get worse. My KC has been stable for 5 years now. Also my prescription changes a tad from a bit worse to a bit better every 8 months or so but it has hovered around the same-ish the whole time. I wear scleras when I want to feel attractive but glasses on most days because the cross linking arrested my KC enough to allow me to stay in glasses all this time
Once a day with my morning coffee but when I was at my worst I was going 5-8 times a day with pain and then nothing at all for like 3 days. It was hell. I’m much better now with my digestion because even though I still restrict, I do so with a lot of harm reduction methods and without extremes. It took years but I finally have a somewhat normal gut biome now.
I can relate with this so much - same sizes and everything. I’ve had to explain to my bf that being a size 6 is a sensory nightmare for me and not just an aesthetic preference and that everyday I live in my body at this size is triggering to my anxiety, depression, OCD and even suicidal ideation… I know size 6 doesn’t look fat - but the sensory aspects of it are so hard. It causes me to self harm by way of overeating and not exercising so it’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
You have to eat something. Eat your maintenance amount of calories on days you need your strength. I know it’s hard to pacify a disordered mind but eating your maintenance amount (not in a deficit) will only keep you at your current weight for a few days. That’s all it’ll do. There won’t be any consequences. You will feel smarter, quicker, and happier on the days that you do it. Give yourself a break and make the midterm easier on yourself.
I made a Thai cabbage salad bowl last night while trying to “volume eat”. It was huge and fit in this giant popcorn bowl. My bf was like, “damn that’s so much food!” And I was like… “Yeah but it’s precisely 380 calories and I’ve planned all day for this.” - we are restricting, we just know the loopholes.
lol I did do this but not to the extent that @lilhope03 did. I didn’t like train my bladder for weeks or have a caregiver or anything. actually for both surgeries I experienced very little pain and didn’t really use a lot of painkillers either. But the advice my doc gave me was to close my eyes as often as possible for 72 hours post op… so I would sleep as much as I could while taking 3-4 hour breaks in between sleep shifts to eat, walk around and wash up. I was able to do this while taking the exact amount of sleeping pills my doc prescribed, no more, no less. In no way is sleeping a lot for 48 hours a dangerous thing to do.
Is this a poem of sorts? What’s happening here!? lol. So much denial and self congratulatory bull in such a short blurb. This post is invalidating to yourself as well as invalidating to the hundreds of other people on this sub who are also struggling. I hope you find some help. You seem young so the whole bragging about not feeling fatigued and feeling “pretty normal” will be short lived if you carry on and age. Be safe.
No. No. No. Hell no. This is the most triggering thing someone like us ever goes through. Unfortunately it’s such a classic response though. People are so misinformed about eating disorders and the health implications that come with them. They have no idea how harmful and dangerous having a dismissive response like this could have. I’m 5’1 and quite bulky (build muscle easily) so Even at my lowest weight and my most miserable people refused to believe I was unwell (despite my health clearly reflecting that) because I looked “good” and “not emaciated”. People as so brainwashed by diet culture to the point of seeing current photos of Ariana grande and being like “she looks so happy and healthy! Ya’ll are insane to think she’s underweight, she’s always been petite!”. Like people are that in denial. Please don’t let this person trigger you too bad. You did the right thing reaching out to a friend. I’m sorry it went so badly.
lol That’s why when people are like, stop weighing yourself, or stop counting calories or cover your mirrors and all that crap, they don’t understand that I need those things in my life so my body dysmorphia doesn’t convince me that I literally gained double my body weight. If I don’t tether myself to reality through measurements my brain will create a brand new reality.
Rice bowls. Rice bowls are saving my life. I bought a rice cooker and cook single serving rice portions every night for dinner and then just riff between different variations of a rice bowl. It’s simple cause the base is always the same but how ever you style the rice bowl can vary so much. Poke bowls with veggies and mango, smoked salmon bowls with cucumber and capers, roasted veggies with baked chicken, chicken sausage with beans and broccoli and sauerkraut, southwest veggie chili bowl with chicken, corn and black beans, burrito bowl with avo, beans, pico de gallo, sour cream and lime. You can even make a sweet rice bowl with coconut milk and yogurt, simmered berries and your choice of sweetener.
You can make these low cal or you can bulk them up for a recovery journey. It’s up to you.‘but I love my rice bowls because I can be as creative as I’m in the mood for or as basic as I want. Either way, I always know roughly the kind of meal I’m gonna have and I know roughly how many cals which takes the fear and decision paralysis out of it.
I don’t think you’re causing these symptoms by eating more. These symptoms you’re describing are what I’ve experienced after long term restriction. Months and months into my recovery I’d still get these spells of sickness, dizziness, panic with chest tightness and palpitations. Even though it was scary, I was told that i had to just keep on trying to keep myself nourished everyday and over time, those types of sickness spells would happen less and less. And they did. The first time I recovered it took a little over a year for those days to completely stop happening - but they eventually did and it was totally worth pushing through the scary parts to get there.
I’m a women with autoimmune issues and when I get a cold I’m in and out of the experience within a day or two while usually continuing to work during the worst of it and when my BF gets my cold, he’s knocked on his ass and takes a few days off to recover. I always wondered if I was a super hero and he was being a baby or if I legitimately have a stronger defense system against virus’s. Because this has been true for all my partners so far and my brother growing up, I suspected being a women had something to do with my quick and somewhat easier recovery time.
I’m 5’1 and have had Ana off and on since 11 years old. I tried to eat an anti-inflammatory diet for 2 months for autoimmune health reasons last year which was literally just me adding more whole foods, healthy fats like olive oil and avocado and not being afraid to eat 3 times a day and BAM, I went up 2.5 inches around my waist. I got pushed back into a relapse essentially for eating like a normal and healthy balanced person. When I think about it, it enrages me. People don’t get it, to be thin (like normal thin) I have to eat 1,100 Cals a day maximum and to lose I got to get like 700-800. It isn’t something I’ve made up. It’s facts.
I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years and have relapsed 4 times during our relationship with 4 months being the longest relapse. I told him about the first one but he expressed some cruel judgements about me and then made the conversation about himself by faulting me for having lied to him about it in the beginning. He made that betrayal of being lied to the center of the conversation. I have since decided to never ever ever let him in about a relapse again. I’m extremely good at hiding it now, even more than I was before.
I’m 30 and currently in a relapse as well but I can’t relate to not caring about food at all. I care a lot about it, like so much lol My motivations are the same as they’ve always been. To be thinner. The hate I have for my body and face when I’m at my set weight triggers my body dysmorphia and OCD and it completely takes over my life till I have to relapse to find any level of relief from it. That’s why recovery never sticks. The main difference for me between me now and me when I was much younger is that I am muuuuch more calculated about restricting. I am better at harm reduction, I’m better at lying about it, I am purposefully less extreme so my relapses can last much longer and thus be more effective without big, dramatic physical repercussions. I don’t weight myself, I measure with measuring tape - I don’t trust apps and nutrition labels, I use a food scale instead - I save my cheat days for when I’m in front of other people so I don’t binge. All that has really changed is that I’ve become very good at this to the point where I don’t even feel valid as someone who struggles with an ED.
Kidney infection where the symptoms went from 0-100 in like 2 hrs. 1 min I was fine (feeling awful from 3 weeks of extreme restriction but fine) then boom I couldn’t walk because I had pain down my back and legs while vomiting bile. I wasn’t underweight or even outed at the hospital but I knew that it was my fault. I stayed the night and they pumped me with fluids and antibiotics.
