Annus Mirabilis
by Philip Larkin
Sexual intercourse began In nineteen sixty-three (which was rather late for me) – Between the end of the Chatterley ban And the Beatles’ first LP.
Up to then there’d only been A sort of bargaining, A wrangle for the ring, A shame that started at sixteen And spread to everything.
Then all at once the quarrel sank: Everyone felt the same, And every life became A brilliant breaking of the bank, A quite unlosable game.
So life was never better than In nineteen sixty-three (Though just too late for me) – Between the end of the Chatterley ban And the Beatles’ first LP.
Danny: Are you aware Bruce Wayne has a thing for you?
Clark: What? No way he does.
Danny: Yeah, why do you think he's glaring at me right now? He's jealous of how much I've been chatting with you.
Clark: He always looks like that.
Danny: No, he doesn't. Everyone knows Bruce Wayne is the friendliest most prince charming man around! And that, is not the look of Gotham's Prince.
Clark: Oh yeah....I forget people think that about him....
Danny: Pardon?
Clark: Nevermind. Look, Bruce does not have feelings for me.
Danny: *sigh* I guess it's going to be a long difficult road of love for Mr.Wayne.
Meanwhile across the gala hall:
Dick: Sheesh, B. Reel it in. The guy is going to notice.
Bruce: Oh no, was I being obvious?
Tim: Extremely. Literally every time he looked over here, you were staring.
Bruce: Blast!
Jason: If it makes you feel better, only those who know you would know that is the face you make when you have a crush. Everyone else would think you're planning their downfall.
Bruce: What? Really?
Damian: Yes, Father. It's a bad habit. Your face loses all emotions, like the edge of a freshly sharpened blade, whenever you stare at those you are infatuated with. My mother found it attractive, but she was raised to be a killer all her life. That man is likely terrified.
Bruce: What am going to do!? He just makes me so nervous I panic!
Dick: Just, calm down and go talk to Mr. Fenton! Its not like you have no experience- Damian is living proof of that
Bruce: He was an accident!
Damian: Why do you forsaken me, Father?
Bruce: Sorry. I mean, look everyone else I've been with has always been physical only or connected in some way to my night job. Never has it been about feelings and a civilian. Especially Clark's childhood friend.
Steph: Can I offer some advice?
Bruce: Please
Steph: Stop bing a bitch and go talk to him before another fine piece of ass steals him away.
Cass: Well said, well said.
Bruce: I- okay I'll talk to him.
Tim: Looking like that?
Bruce: What's wrong with my outfit?!
Tim: Your clothes are fine. Its your face. B you look like your about to grab brace knuckles and break his face.
Dick: I can hear the fight music
Jason: *waery sigh* We're never getting a step parent. We'll be half orphans for the rest of our lives.
Damian: Its a shame. I could have gotten that man at the alter weeks ago.
Dick: Oh? How?
Damian: Simple. Watch. *screams* MY LEG. MY LEG. HELP. I ACCIDENTALLY STABBED MYSELF WITH MY STEAK KNIFE.
Danny pushing theough the gathering crowd: I'm a doctor! Let me through!
Damian muttering: When he comes over here to stop my bleeding you invite him to dinner as a thank you, Father. The rest of you, get a form of contact to take him out to dinner for saving your baby brother and then plan encounters in public. We're going to make him want kids.
Tim: You absolute mad lad, this is a great idea.
Bruce: NO!? WHY DID YOU STAB YOURSELF?!
Dick: Now hold on, B. This could work. Thats how Damian helped me and Kori get together.
Bruce: WHAT?!
Damian: They call me Knife Cupid for a reason Father. I'm seven for seven in success rates.
Bruce: You've done this SEVEN TIMES?!
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#from a fic i never wrote#Spirit Halloween ship#Bruce is bad at emotions#Bruce has a crush on danny#But his feelings face is Batman face#His kids want to help#His kids are also crazy#Misunderstandings#Clark heard everything and is laughing in a corner#The gala is a charity work#Clark and Danny are old friends… See all
Barbara: Do you want to watch a movie later? I haven't see Knives Out yet.
Dick: Neither have I.
Barbara: Oh. I thought you would have. I though B was big into mystery movies
Dick: He saw it. He and Tim watched it. But Alfred banned it and the sequels from the house after.
Barbara: Why?
Dick: Neither Tim or Bruce figured it out before the movie ended. Almost had some breakdown.
Barbara: Over a movie?
Dick: Yes and that Jason solved murder. He didn't even watch the whole movie. Tim kicked the TV and Bruce started glitching.
#Jason is smart too#Bruce and Tim just thought too much into it#Barbara starts trolling them with a thick southern accent when they're deducing something#batman#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#the robins#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#bat fam#barbara gordon#Oracle#Red Robin#Red hood#Nightwing#Bat family#The Bat fam#The Bat Family#dickbabs… See all