Member-only story
Why Your Avoidant Isn’t Suffering (And Why That Should Terrify You)
The Brutal Truth About Who’s Actually in Pain
Let me guess how you got here. You’ve been dating someone for a few months, maybe longer.
Things were great at first.
Then you noticed something.
After every good weekend (after the kind of connection that made you think “finally, we’re getting somewhere”) they’d disappear. Not literally. Just emotionally. The warmth would drain out of their texts. Plans would get vague.
By Tuesday, you’d be wondering if you’d imagined the whole thing. So you did what any rational person does in 2026: you Googled that shit.
You found attachment theory. Learned about avoidant patterns, childhood wounds, nervous system dysregulation. You watched videos explaining that they’re scared of intimacy, that their distance is a defense mechanism, that deep down they’re suffering just as much as you are.
And that story? That story felt like finding water in a desert.
