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this time / old time lovers
by eri (firewoodfigs)
  • saw you in the garden 
    that one summer, 
    in your rumpled dresses 
    trampling on roses

    brought you to that frozen lake
    where i 
    watched your broken soul ache
    where you told me 
    your secret griefs 

    and sometimes i can’t help but wish 
    things hadn’t changed between us 
    was it pride, was it the way 
    i wasn’t by your side 

    was it my broken promises 
    and miserable lies 
    that made you think otherwise? 

    but i promise i’ll be a better man, 
    be a bit less of a fool, someone wise 

    this time
    i’d like to make you mine

    saw you in the desert 
    that next summer, 
    in your military blues 
    like a plan gone askew 

    things would never be the same 
    and i would 
    never call your name 

    all this was an old fantasy 
    it wasn’t meant to be

    sometimes i can’t help but wish 
    things hadn’t changed between us 
    was it pride, was it the way 
    i wasn’t by your side 

    was it my broken promises 
    and miserable lies 
    that made you think otherwise? 

    but i promise i’ll be a better man, 
    be a bit less of a fool, someone wise 

    this time
    i’d like to make you mine

    never would’ve thought 
    we’d end up this way 
    from old-time lovers 
    to nothing but hearsay 

    it’s hard, when I just 
    wanna hear your voice
    at two in the morning, 
    kiss you in the pouring rain 
    take away all your pain

    sometimes i can’t help but wish 
    things hadn’t changed between us 
    was it pride, was it the way 
    i wasn’t by your side 

    was it my broken promises 
    and miserable lies 
    that made you think otherwise? 

    but i promise i’ll be a better man, 
    be a bit less of a fool, someone wise 

    this time
    i promise I’ll make you mine 

                                         © eri / 2021

    (also on soundcloud)

  • anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

  • let's use this post for something good. if you are considering being annoying in my notes, please instead consider donating to gaza soup kitchen. thanks!

  • It was after dinner. You were talking to me across the table about something or other, a greyhound you had seen that day or a song you liked,  and I was looking past you over your bare shoulder at the three oranges lying on the kitchen counter next to the small electric bean grinder, which was also orange, and the orange and white cruets for vinegar and oil.  All of which converged into a random still life, so fastened together by the hasp of color, and so fixed behind the animated foreground of your talking and smiling, gesturing and pouring wine, and the camber of your shouldersALT
    that I could feel it being painted within me, brushed on the wall of my skull, while the tone of your voice lifted and fell in its flight, and the three oranges remained fixed on the counter the way stars are said to be fixed in the universe.  Then all the moments of the past began to line up behind that moment and all the moments to come assembled in front of it in a long row, giving me reason to believe that this was a moment I had rescued from the millions that rush out of sight into a darkness behind the eyes.  Even after I have forgotten what year it is, my middle name, and the meaning of money, I will still carry in my pocket the small coin of that moment, minted in the kingdom that we pace through every day.ALT

    this much i do remember by Billy Collins

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    found this in my files, no recollection of making it (~1 yr ago)

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    Light in the dark

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    Happy Lunar New Year 2025 🌻🌷🌹🌼💐

    According to the Zodiac, this is the year of the Fire Snake. Fire as in "a lantern fire". Let's just be there for each other, keep on a small light in the dark, and give hope to the one who needs it most. We are stronger together.

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    上高地 (kamikochi) / where the gods descend

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    — a quiet standstill

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    had a feeling so peculiar — part II/IV

    だいろっかん / 第六感 (dairokkan)

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    had a feeling so peculiar — part II/IV

    だいろっかん / 第六感 (dairokkan)

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    &. lilac theme by seyche