/soy/ - Soyjaks

I was doing the deed after abstaining for 2 weeks, it first began with normal material the average person would deem suitable, then I progressively edged and got hornier as my session went on. It ended up with me being curious and finishing off to 'cado, and when the post nut clarity hit, I genuinely wanted to kill myself. It's been a few days and I don't know how to cope with myself, my actions and what I did, along with the fact that I am well aware and am the same person who did do that.