The Internet Investigator
The Internet Investigator 1 day ago
I have made the decision to take down my most recent video. While I stand by my reasons for covering the topic in the first place, I acknowledge some of the criticisms you guys made and ultimately I don’t want to risk the forum gaining more users because of my video. Reactions to this were mixed – many of you supported my decision to cover it and the way I went about it; I even had a couple of comments from active users on the forum who said my video had changed their perspective on it and made them realise that it’s an echo chamber that will inevitably make them spiral. This was my intention. In addition to raising awareness of the dangers of this forum in general, I hoped that by highlighting its shady origins and the fact that those who founded it likely didn’t have the users’ best interests at heart, that some existing users might realise this is not a good place for them to be, and that there are many other more helpful resources for people who are contemplating taking their own lives. However there were some fair comments criticising certain aspects of the video, such as my decision to use a phrase that is commonly used on the forum to refer to someone taking their own life. It didn’t occur to me at the time that this term alone would make it easier for people to find the forum. When this was pointed out, I removed the full phrase from the video (in the rest of it, I used the abbreviation). But I realise now that this isn’t enough, and I think the best course of action is to take down the entire video. Unfortunately, the forum is pretty easy to find even without this phrase. I didn’t want to name it because that would make it as simple as someone literally just typing in the URL straight from my video, and even one extra step in the process of finding the forum could be enough to deter some people. That was my reasoning behind keeping the video up until now, but having taken some time to think about it, I don’t want anything I said in that video to help anyone in any way find the forum. I never intended to cause any harm with this video but I acknowledge this was a massive oversight on my part and I sincerely apologise to anyone who was negatively affected by it in any way. I will learn from this and try to be more mindful of the possible ramifications arising from the way I cover certain topics in the future. I really appreciate that people took the time to voice their concerns, and I hope you will all continue to do so if you ever feel that any of my videos could cause any harm. We’re all here because we share an interest in disturbing topics, but I also want my videos to be of some value, whether that’s through raising awareness, educating on certain things or dispelling myths surrounding controversial topics. If any of my future videos fail to do this, or if those things are outweighed by potentially negative consequences, as seems to be the case here, please don’t hesitate to tell me, and I’ll act accordingly. Thanks for your ongoing support 🖤
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There's more journalistic integrity on display here than I've seen from journalists working in mainstream media outlets and they wonder why legacy media is dying.
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I watched it, and while I didn’t leave any comments on it, I do think this is the best decision. People in dark places do get sucked into dangerous echo chambers quite often.
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I completely understand your decision. However, I just want to share a positive that came out of it: I watched your video last night after having just coincidentally mentioned to my therapist my own history with the subject. I decided to visit the forum to read the Recovery section. There was a thread that just asked people to draw their favorite Pokemon. Someone drew one that was unconventional for a favorite with a sweet story behind it. And then they said, “Wow. I had just shared on an another thread that I never felt like creating anymore. And here I just drew a Pokemon.” I thought that was so beautiful. That’s going to stay with me for a while. Even if the forum’s existence is a net negative, I’m so proud of the people in recovery on there helping each other find community and expression, even if just in the smallest of ways.
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It was a good video, but as someone who has overcome the challenges faced therein, I stand by your decision as people who are currently struggling may seek it out. Misery loves company, as they say. Can’t wait for your next upload!
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The Internet Investigator
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In 5 years that video will be on Disturbing Youtube Lost Media lists 😂😂😂
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Clicked on the video but you listed the triggers and I decided to skip that day. Thanks as always for the transparency.
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That's unfortunate, I've been in a very dark mindspace and I find discussions around the topic help me grasp the enormity and finality of a decision like that. I understand though that my experience isn't universal but I'm personally glad I got to see it when I did :) Edit to add: Also please remember you are never responsible for another person's actions. Even if the worst did happen because someone saw this particular video you wouldn't be the one to blame and it would in no way be your fault
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GODDAMN IT, I left the video for later, meaning to watch it on the weekend mannnnn folkkkkkk😭🙏🏼
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Damn. Im sorry I missed this. I take it it had something to do with self harm or suicide. It reminds me of the proliferation of Pro-Anorexia websites in the 00s. There has got to be some way we can discuss and address these things without making them worse. It looks like apparently your attempt wasnt the way, but I encourage you to keep trying. Because just not mentioning such things does not make them go away. Sometimes shining a light is important, its just about finding the safest way to do that.
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For me, the video actually helped me feel more grateful I have gotten through some darker times in my depression because I have sought out every treatment I can, and I appreciated your perspective on finding other options that could surely be better. I do understand why you would take it down. I just wanted to chime in and say your video actually did do some good while it was up, thank you ❤
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I didn’t get around to leaving a comment when the video was up, and obviously this doesn’t negate anything said in this post, but I did want to share my thoughts: As someone who is recovering, I overall really appreciated the way you covered the topic. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to discuss, especially without either unintentionally minimizing people’s experiences (as you addressed in the video) or saying things that can be misinterpreted by someone suffering and unintentionally fuel the fire. I can only imagine how touchy it was to put this video together as someone who has never experienced it. I found your perspectives genuinely refreshing and enlightening, and you made so many choices, down to the background music you used, that respected the subject matter and the people affected by it. While I didn’t pick up on this at the time, I’m glad people noticed and pointed it out, and I’m glad you are responding in a way that feels appropriate. I’m also personally grateful that I watched it beforehand, though. I’ve enjoyed watching your content grow over the years, and it’s wonderful to see how much you care about and respect your audience. You are truly one of my favorite creators, and one of the only channels in the creepy/disturbing/horror-adjacent space that I always feel good about watching and never leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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I was one of the people who left a comment stating some of my concerns, it shows a lot of integrity for you to make this decision and to listen to your audience about this.
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More journalistic integrity than major news websites, massive respect
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While I wanted to watch the video i respect decision 👍
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Wow, I have to say I really, really respect this decision and I truly believe not many other yters would do the same.
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The Internet Investigator
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I really liked that you gave reasons to live and not attempt because you often survive and get severely injured/in deep pain but I thought calling ending your own life by the term the forum liked to use felt insensitive just a bit by using a silly goofy metaphor
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thank you for taking it down. i don’t usually comment on videos and i’ve been a silent watcher for years. i’m in a very dark place at the moment and i wish i didn’t go on that website. i will admit i heard your warning and it is my own fault for watching the video. i’m just glad it’s been taken down so someone else doesn’t do the same thing i did. sending my love to anyone else out there that is reading this and feels hopeless at the moment <3
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while i've watched the video and enjoyed it, i respect your decision. the last thing we want rn is malicious people laying their hands on those who are vulnerable. i hope that anyone who's going through very dark times in their lives can find light at the end of the tunnel ❤️
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I have mad respect for you in making this decision. While I found the video interesting and informative even as someone who's very much struggled with the topic (and is still somewhat in the woods), I can see how others may take advantage of the information given. I hope you're not beating yourself up or anything like that! Can't wait for your next upload 🤍
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I respect your decision obviously, but I did find the video informative
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You may also want to consider revising the version on substack too
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I watched it and yeah, this is for the best. I was able to find the forum based on the euphemism you described and if I’m being honest, it was the discussion of a particular method that I heard in the video that appealed to me and made me seek it out. I try not to be super vulnerable online but yeah, I’ve not been doing too great recently. I’ve had the strength to not re-visit the forum in the last few days but it wouldn’t take much to bring me back and idk, that kind of space could be detrimental to those who don’t have adequate support for their mental health. Maybe it’s not a good idea to cover places like that which are still active?
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You made a good decision in taking the video down. You made good points in it too. I'm hopeful for more interesting & cool content in the future as well
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I do agree. All it took was searching something mentioned and I was on it, there wasn’t even a google link for hotlines like there usually is for these topics. I do believe you had the best intentions though!
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Delete it off your ko fi. You are still profiting off others suffering. Even more so since people will want to see it now that you deleted it
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I don't blame you. I blame your fickle-ass fanbase. Who now, in their audacity, go from calling you some kind of predator to singing the praises of your journalistic integrity. You've covered morbid communities before, but somehow that one was off limits. And no, you did not publicize anyone's identity. Nice try, those of you who tried to accuse her of this. Mad at her for posting screenshots of a forum? So those screenshots of subreddits she's posted time and again, those were fine? Exasperating. You people are exasperating.
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prob a good call. i really liked the video, but that site was extremely easy to find so i totes get it! cant wait for ur next upload <3 and i know im not alone when i say i appreciate the integrity!!!! yet another reason ur one of my fave youtubers \(^0^)/
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I missed the video completely so idk what it was even about.
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Glad to see content creators that look out for the well being of their viewers. While I personally didn't find the video harmful to myself, I understand that it could be troubling to others. I appreciate you.
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unfortunately i was going to mention as soon as it came out that even including any names or any word for word posts would have actually led to people finding the forum appreciate you though, the video was still a very positive part of my day as all your uploads are, during a time when ive been struggling ❤
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I found the forum through a similar video to yours a couple of years ago so I think you made the right decision
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Damn i didnt get to watch it. 😢
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Oh, I hadn't seen it, but I remember seeing an article covering what I think might be the same place. I very easily found the forum in a period of suicidal ideation now that I knew it existed, and now I have more information that's actively harmful to me. I think covering such things is incredibly important, especially when arming family members who might not know what to look for, but it is dangerous to bring awareness to it as well. That's a really tough position to be in.
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Didn't watch the video, but I agree with this decision, some things shouldn't have a video made on them, especially sites, because it'll attract more degenerates to that site or if it's a lost image, attract more degenerates to finding that image It is good to spread awareness, but sometimes it comes at a cost
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Youre so professional ❤
We love you and keep up with your work❤
Ironically i couldnt manage to find the blog
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I thought exactly this when I saw it on my subscription feed. I didn't watch the video but I've been on the forum before and I found it through a YouTube video warning about the site.
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I watched it and think it was a good video, shining light on the dark places some people find themselves in. It probably is the wisest thing to take it down though. In the past I've been to similar online communities and they only drag you further down into the depths. I did see some people in the comments saying that they only wanted to go to the form through the video. I totally respect your journalistic integrity and decision to take it down.
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love you mama 💖
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