[–] ▶ №228540[Quote]
it's based and tvrkpilled…
▶ №228542[Quote]
thanks for using my gemerald 'jak
▶ №228552[Quote]
>>228538its almost mutt hours you schizo and all the spammers are being banned actively
▶ №228556[Quote]
gemmy thread
▶ №228595[Quote]>>228621
Part 1/2
>Mooom! Im home from the academy!
<Oh that's good to hear sweetheart! How was your day?
>pretty good overall, bernd helped me finally make a new friend¹, and after such a tiring day i'm ready to do some relaxing on the computer on my favorite website, soyjak.par²-
<Hold your horses sweetie, remember you've gotta feed the doggy I've got you before you hop on your adventures across cyberspace³
>Oh yeah yeah mom, on it!
*nate goes to the yard where his dog is at*
>Woof! Woof!
>Oh hey there buddy, are you excited to see me, aren't you? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy *gives scratches and pets to 2004 dog*
>Well buddy, imma go serve you your food now, you look like a hungry fella!
*nate grabs the bag of food dog and crouches to serve it on 2004 dog's plate, but as he's bending, he notices something*
>Wait…buddy…i-is t-that…i-is t-that…IS THAT A PENIS YOU'VE GOT?!?!?!?
>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT A PENIS? NO, THIS CANT BE HAPPENING. MY DOG HAS A…A PENIS??? BUT A PENIS MEANS EPI!!!!!
>>YOU'RE EPI GROOMING ME! YOU'RE EPI GROOMING ME! YOURE EPI GROOMING ME
>>AHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO THIS CANT BEEEEE MY DOG IS EPI GROOMING ME AAHHHH SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEE
>Woof Woof? (*Confusedly tries to give a lick to nate*)
>>AHHHH AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO LICK ME YUP EPI CONFIRMED AHHHH SOOT KUZ FROOT ZOOT JOOT ROOT LOOT TOOT DOOT DOXX HIM AND RANGE BAN HIM NOOOOOOW *runs scaredly to his room and locks the bolt behind him*
>Woof…Woof :( (he's sad cuz he didn't get fed and he thinks he scared nate/made him angry)
▶ №228598[Quote]>>228621>>229001
Part 2/2
*Later*<<NATHANIEL HIGGERS, GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND HERE, NOW!>>>(*Gets out of his room, still scared due to the """"epi grooming"""" by his dog*) oh thanks science mom, you're gonna save me from that epi grooming houn-<<WHY DIDN'T YOU FEED 2004 DOG? I FOUND THE POOR POOCH STARVING? DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER THAN THE DOG THAT LOVES YOU?!?!?!?>Woof! Woof! (Now happy cuz he was fed)>>>B-but m-mom…2004 dog tried to epi groom me-<<AND NOW YOURE TALKING BACK TO YOUR MOTHER?, THAT'S IT YOUNG MAN, YOURE GROUNDED! YOU'LL BE WALKING 2004 DOG ALL BY YOURSELF FOR A WEEK TO AS PUNISHMENT>>>B-but it was Dan's turn…<<YOUR COUSIN IS AN ASPIRING YOUNG MAN WHO USES HIS COMPUTER FOR GOOD, AND NOT WASTING TIME LIKE YOU, AND ALSO HE DOESNT STARVE POOR DOGGIES!!>>>B-but h-he s-spends all his computer time fighting on the booru⁴<<STILL TALKING BACK???? YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS NOW!!!>>>>(Muthering to himself, inaudible to mom; his teeth clench as he says it) Stupid momstone from the momcord so obsessed with me!!!!>>>>Fine mom, I'll do it>>>>*looking at 2004 dog* I'm sorry buddy, let's go for a walk so i can make it up to ya.>woof! Woof! *gives a happy lick to nate*[1]: In reference to that video/animated soytext (soyjak greentext) where nate struggles to make friends for a day, available from:
https://youtu.be/0I5fu1dN_Jk?si=erXbjhohsfJVkGQx [2]: In reference to the infamous and now defunct imageboard, soyjak.party
[3]: term popularized by science fiction author William Gibson in the 1980s to describe the interconnected, non-physical world of computer networks
[4]: In reference to soybooru.com, booru-styled website for the image-hosting and distribution of soyjaks
▶ №228610[Quote]
>Part 2/2>*Later*><<NATHANIEL HIGGERS, GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND HERE, NOW!>>>>(*Gets out of his room, still scared due to the """"epi grooming"""" by his dog*) oh thanks science mom, you're gonna save me from that epi grooming houn-><<WHY DIDN'T YOU FEED 2004 DOG? I FOUND THE POOR POOCH STARVING? DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER THAN THE DOG THAT LOVES YOU?!?!?!?>>Woof! Woof! (Now happy cuz he was fed)>>>>B-but m-mom…2004 dog tried to epi groom me-><<AND NOW YOURE TALKING BACK TO YOUR MOTHER?, THAT'S IT YOUNG MAN, YOURE GROUNDED! YOU'LL BE WALKING 2004 DOG ALL BY YOURSELF FOR A WEEK TO AS PUNISHMENT>>>>B-but it was Dan's turn…><<YOUR COUSIN IS AN ASPIRING YOUNG MAN WHO USES HIS COMPUTER FOR GOOD, AND NOT WASTING TIME LIKE YOU, AND ALSO HE DOESNT STARVE POOR DOGGIES!!>>>>B-but h-he s-spends all his computer time fighting on the booru⁴><<STILL TALKING BACK???? YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS NOW!!!>>>>>(Muthering to himself, inaudible to mom; his teeth clench as he says it) Stupid momstone from the momcord so obsessed with me!!!!>>>>>Fine mom, I'll do it>>>>>*looking at 2004 dog* I'm sorry buddy, let's go for a walk so i can make it up to ya.>>woof! Woof! *gives a happy lick to nate*>[1]: In reference to that video/animated soytext (soyjak greentext) where nate struggles to make friends for a day, available from: https://youtu.be/0I5fu1dN_Jk?si=erXbjhohsfJVkGQx >[2]: In reference to the infamous and now defunct imageboard, soyjak.party>[3]: term popularized by science fiction author William Gibson in the 1980s to describe the interconnected, non-physical world of computer networks>[4]: In reference to soybooru.com, booru-styled website for the image-hosting and distribution of soyjaks ▶ №228621[Quote]
>>228598>>228595oh my soyence it even has footnotes
browns can really gem
▶ №228877[Quote]
Up tho
▶ №228894[Quote]
poop and niggers dying idk here's a reppey
▶ №228901[Quote]
Gemmy thread
▶ №229016[Quote]
Cmon guys get to make some soyquotes I can't make em all myself
▶ №229045[Quote]
>Part 1/2>>Mooom! Im home from the academy!><Oh that's good to hear sweetheart! How was your day?>>pretty good overall, bernd helped me finally make a new friend¹, and after such a tiring day i'm ready to do some relaxing on the >computer on my favorite website, soyjak.par²-><Hold your horses sweetie, remember you've gotta feed the doggy I've got you before you hop on your adventures across cyberspace³>>Oh yeah yeah mom, on it!>*nate goes to the yard where his dog is at*>>Woof! Woof!>>Oh hey there buddy, are you excited to see me, aren't you? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy *gives scratches and pets to 2004 dog*>>Well buddy, imma go serve you your food now, you look like a hungry fella!>*nate grabs the bag of food dog and crouches to serve it on 2004 dog's plate, but as he's bending, he notices something*>>>Wait…buddy…i-is t-that…i-is t-that…IS THAT A PENIS YOU'VE GOT?!?!?!?>>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT A PENIS? NO, THIS CANT BE HAPPENING. MY DOG HAS A…A PENIS??? BUT A PENIS MEANS EPI!!!!! >>>YOU'RE EPI GROOMING ME! YOU'RE EPI GROOMING ME! YOURE EPI GROOMING ME>>>AHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO THIS CANT BEEEEE MY DOG IS EPI GROOMING ME AAHHHH SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEE>>Woof Woof? (*Confusedly tries to give a lick to nate*)>>>AHHHH AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO LICK ME YUP EPI CONFIRMED AHHHH SOOT KUZ FROOT ZOOT JOOT ROOT LOOT TOOT DOOT DOXX HIM AND RANGE BAN HIM NOOOOOOW *runs scaredly to his room and locks the bolt behind him*>>Woof…Woof :( (he's sad cuz he didn't get fed and he thinks he scared nate/made him angry)>Part 2/2>*Later*><<NATHANIEL HIGGERS, GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND HERE, NOW!>>>>(*Gets out of his room, still scared due to the """"epi grooming"""" by his dog*) oh thanks science mom, you're gonna save me from that epi grooming houn-><<WHY DIDN'T YOU FEED 2004 DOG? I FOUND THE POOR POOCH STARVING? DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER THAN THE DOG THAT LOVES YOU?!?!?!?>>Woof! Woof! (Now happy cuz he was fed)>>>>B-but m-mom…2004 dog tried to epi groom me-><<AND NOW YOURE TALKING BACK TO YOUR MOTHER?, THAT'S IT YOUNG MAN, YOURE GROUNDED! YOU'LL BE WALKING 2004 DOG ALL BY YOURSELF FOR A WEEK TO AS PUNISHMENT>>>>B-but it was Dan's turn…><<YOUR COUSIN IS AN ASPIRING YOUNG MAN WHO USES HIS COMPUTER FOR GOOD, AND NOT WASTING TIME LIKE YOU, AND ALSO HE DOESNT STARVE POOR DOGGIES!!>>>>B-but h-he s-spends all his computer time fighting on the booru⁴><<STILL TALKING BACK???? YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS NOW!!!>>>>>(Muthering to himself, inaudible to mom; his teeth clench as he says it) Stupid momstone from the momcord so obsessed with me!!!!>>>>>Fine mom, I'll do it>>>>>*looking at 2004 dog* I'm sorry buddy, let's go for a walk so i can make it up to ya.>>woof! Woof! *gives a happy lick to nate*>[1]: In reference to that video/animated soytext (soyjak greentext) where nate struggles to make friends for a day, available from: https://youtu.be/0I5fu1dN_Jk?si=erXbjhohsfJVkGQx >[2]: In reference to the infamous and now defunct imageboard, soyjak.party>[3]: term popularized by science fiction author William Gibson in the 1980s to describe the interconnected, non-physical world of computer networks>[4]: In reference to soybooru.com, booru-styled website for the image-hosting and distribution of soyjaks ▶ №230022[Quote]>>230031>>230047
>Hello class, sadly Mr. Teacherstein couldn't make it today as xhe called in sick, so I'll be your substitute. You can call me *writes on board* Mr. Substitutenstein
>Alright, let's begin. Although this is calculus, since it's Trans Visibility Week, today's lesson celebrates the revolutionary contributions of trans fxlk to civilization. Math is secondary, equity first!
>We'll start with ancient Mesopotamia: trans priestesses like the gala invented writing and mathematics through their gender-expansive divine connection to Inanna, who could transform genders at will…
<(muttering to himself) stupid fucking kike pozzed jewrael-loving demonkkkrat…daring to turn my beloved math WOKE?
<(smugly) Heh…I'll teach this loyal goy faggot not to wokify my sacred trad math…
<(awkward whisper-shout, voice cracking) Mr Substitutenstein… y-you're a s-soycuck… soyboy!!!
*dead silence. Crickets. No laughs, no reaction from anyone, not even a reprimand from the teacher*
>(thinking to himself) lmao did that weirdo clittycel I stole his bitch from really just whisper that dogshit? Bro sounded like he was asking for a hall pass. Fucking embarrassing.
>(thinking to himself) Wait… same joke but with actual balls? Class will lose it. Detention is worth the clout.
>(full voice, confident) MR SUBSTITUTENSTEIN… YOU'RE A SOYCUCK SOYBOI!!!
*class erupts. girls screaming "MARRY ME CHAD", dudes dapping him up, "HIP HIP CHAD" chant starts, teacher beaming*
<<(clenching fists, muttering under breath so teacher can't hear) b-but… that was MY joke… I SAID IT FIRST…
>OK Chad, that was comedy gold. You've got a bright future, son. If your pathetic little classmate, Chuddy McHuddington had tried that, straight to detention, but your alpha aura just elevated it.
>As reward, you're free to leave the classroom. Nothing left to teach a king like you.
>HELL YEAH! PEACE LOSERS *leaves as he's cheered on*
<<(desperate yell, loud enough for everyone) B-BUT I MADE THE JOKE FIRST! LET ME OUT TOO, MR KIKENSTEIN!
>Mr. Mchuddington, please don't interrupt the lesson or I'll have to send you to detention.
>Now, as I was saying—trans folx didn't stop at Mesopotamia. They basically invented everything: the Renaissance happened because Leonardo da Vinci was secretly gender-fluid and channeled his non-binary muse to paint the Mona Lisa; the Enlightenment was powered by trans philosophers who deconstructed binary reason itself; even quantum physics owes its uncertainty principle to early 20th-century trans scientists whose fluid identities mirrored wave-particle duality. Without trans fxlk pushing boundaries beyond the cishet binary, we'd still be in the dark ages!
<<(yelling again) I SAID IT FIRST YOU KIKELOVER!
>Mr. Mchuddington, that's your second interruption after my warning. Detention.
<<I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE CHAD! THE SHARTY WILL HEAR OF THIS! I'LL DOXX YOUR ASS AND POST YOUR SISTER GETTING DESTROYED BY RAPESON!!!
>Mr Mchuddington. Silence. Or make it extended detention.
<<MRGGGGHHHH CLITTY LEAKING AAAAHHHH (seething intensifies, tears + snot)
▶ №230031[Quote]>>230037
>>230022Approveeeeee iiiiit
▶ №230037[Quote]>>230051
>>230031holy gem, how'd you spare so much time to do all this?
▶ №230042[Quote]
inb4 we create adventure threads on /int/
▶ №230051[Quote]>>230062
>>230037I just have spouts of creativity from time to time and i lock in and start writing
Tho for this one grok helped me make the teacher's lesson more exaggerated. I've been soytexting (soyjak grentexting) for a bit over 2 years and a half I think [been here since march-april 2023 but i didnt really use the webiste during 2024 and 2025 cuz studies, except during vacations where i did use it. Also i didnt quite get to skills to soytext (the production of soyjak greentexts) from the beggining, it took me some times to learn the ropes] and so far I've used grok 2 times to enhance the soytext and it seems to be worth it but I fear I might loose the touch if I keep doing it
▶ №230713[Quote]
Up tho
▶ №231122[Quote]
>>228535 (OP)be glad. /soy/ sucks
▶ №231155[Quote]
up
▶ №231158[Quote]
/synt/ - Soyjaks/International
▶ №231968[Quote]
Upping this for future reference
▶ №232913[Quote]
upflood
▶ №232958[Quote]
bumo
▶ №235074[Quote]
bumping this gem due to the cattywipe
<Flood detected; Post discarded.
