it’s 4:30 am while i write this so please excuse me if this doesn’t make sense.
this is probably one of my worst symptoms and nothing anyone says helps at all. my current mindset is that dating me wouldn’t be worth it but i crave something romantic so bad it kills me. my brain tells me that it’s just not worth it and that i’ll bring the other person down, that im destined to be alone forever, etc etc and ive tried to reverse the thoughts and “fact check” them by telling myself that im only 21 and that i still have the rest of my life to find someone but it just doesn’t work. i don’t want to feel like this anymore, it’s so exhausting and it makes me isolate from people. and i know im not unlovable and that i have friends and family who love me dearly but ive never been lucky in the romance department, especially not as a lesbian in rural southern usa
