Good At Sex: Inside Her Are Two Brains
Many women don’t have one brain, but two: Ladybrain and Horneebrain.
Ladybrain isn’t horny. She’s an evaluator, in charge of letting in only the most pristine semen. She gets the ick if a guy sneezes wrong, she wants the fairytale ending of marriage and children and horseback riding, she swipes left on tinder.
But she is here to make choices, and while she might occasionally strategically decide to have sex, she does not like sex. To her, sex is a chore. You know the problem people sometimes have where it’s hard to make yourself exercise, even though you know it’ll make you feel great and you might even enjoy it when it’s happening? The ladybrain feels this way about sex. Sure, she knows it’s great in theory, but that’s not motivating for her. Good sex is abstract, something that happens far away, to other people.
Maybe this is because she only experiences bad sex. Good sex is characterized by starving her (lady)brain; if the ladybrain is here, evaluating the sex, deciding if she wants to be doing this, if the guy is hot enough, did she turn off the oven, does my face look weird right now, is he getting tired - then the sex by definition, cannot be good. Sex in the presence of constant evaluative judgments is not ecstatic. Ladybrain destroys good sex with her very presence. Ladybrain is built out of millennia of evolution that rewarded women for being prudes. Her entire being is a stop sign.
Other posts in this series.
Inside Her There Are Two Brains
Reminder: Good sex, as defined by this guide, is something like kicking her upper reasoning out of the room. She should no longer be a thinky brain doing thinky things, but an arousal body doing orgasmy things.
By contrast, the pulsing, scraggly horneebrain is a fiend. It is the stomach-tingling animal drive that kicks in hard in the absence of Ladybrain. It wants one thing, and one thing only - to get the lights railed out of her so hard she’ll need wheelchair assistance at the airport.
But it’s hard to do that, because ladybrain is driving the vehicle. Ladybrain maintains her vice grip on the steering wheel with near-paranoid wariness.
You can think of both men and women having Horneebrain, but women just get a fun extra layer of ‘hey maybe you shouldn’t do that.’
Women Are Different
While often the brains are at war, some tend to have certain brains win out over the other.
Realistically, I think probably Ladybrain and Horneebrain are two separate axis. You can be high in both, low in both, or high in one and low in the other.
I suspect that I am high in both; I have a pretty strong drive to have a lot of sex, but - despite what it may seem - I have a beefy Ladybrain trying hard to keep everything in check, that prevents me from having casual sex with guys on dates.
This is partially why I enjoy escorting and niche fetish orgies - they’re a fantastic way to get around my Ladybrain. But it takes a lot of effort to do this, and if I didn’t have a strong Horneebrain I wouldn’t be going through all that effort.
My friend Romy is high in Horneebrain but low in Ladybrain; we share the same orgies, but she has way more depraved sex with random guys than I do. When I tried to explain Ladybrain to her she didn’t seem to understand the concept at all. She explained that she once let an uber driver finger her cause it seemed interesting to try.
You likely know women who are high in Ladybrain but low in Horneebrain; the trope of a 50’s housewife is close. Her Horneebrain is weak; sex is more of a duty than a necessary part of a vibrant life. And her Ladybrain is strong; she’s got strong marriage principles, casual sex is a horrifying thought, why would you let a man just use you like that?
Women who are low in both seem to be rarer, but I also have a friend who fits this - she is pretty sexually unmotivated, but also doesn’t mind letting people have sex with her. She’ll date around and easily have sex on the first date, but the sex is more a side effect of dating rather than one of her own goals.
Horneebrain Is Subtle
Occasionally you see a spark of deranged sexual choices that are a clear sign that horneebrain has grown strong enough to mutiny, but in general this is rare - you much more commonly see horneebrain acting subtly, in plausibly deniable ways that sound good to Ladybrain.
It’s trying to subtly maneuver you into getting fucked. And it gets absolutely latched onto sexual experiences that give it life, like addicted to a drug. You probably know the girl that kept going back to her shitty boyfriend because the sex was too good - that’s an example of horneebrain managing to grab behavioral reins, distracting Ladybrain by throwing down post-hoc meat chunks of “well I guess my boyfriend is actually a good guy”-type reasoning.
To be a seductive man, you need to be good at picking up on Horneebrain signals. We have a lot of discussion about consent (Ladybrain loves consent) and insist you cannot simply kiss, without asking, a woman you’ve been flirting with. But women’s romance novels show this happening all the time. Women’s fantasy is a man who summons her Horneebrain, and who has the skill to dispatch her Ladybrain, sending it far away, so that Horneebrain can fully take over and transform her into a depraved sex fiend.
Of course, you cannot dispatch Ladybrain if she has no Horneebrain to help. Skilled, seductive men are not good at getting laid with women who don’t want to have sex, but rather are good at detecting which women do want to have sex, and getting in tune with her Horneebrain directly.
So let’s cover a few things:
How do you get in touch with Horneebrain directly, without triggering Ladybrain’s defense mode? I find this is something men often drastically misunderstand, mostly because they think the two options are Asshole or Nice Guy. They don’t understand there’s an entirely different game to play.
How do you help give Horneebrain excuses that her Ladybrain will find plausible? How can you help empower Horneebrain to act? How can you throw Horneebrain a life raft without Ladybrain noticing?
(We’ll be practicing the answers on real women, live at Slutcon. First 10 people to use my promocode will get 15% off tickets. Code is at the end of this blog post, available for my subscribers only <3)
