Survivors often enter relationships hoping that others will show them the compassion they were previously denied. Instead, with narcissistic personalities, they encounter the opposite: their most tender wounds are prodded, mocked, and used against them in moments of conflict. This cruelty is not accidental—it is intentional. It demonstrates a deliberate choice to cause harm, a cold calculation rooted in control and sadistic satisfaction.

Survivors give themselves (and their healing) a gift when they absolutely refuse to associate with people who exploit their trauma and use it as an excuse for their own bad behaviors. Walking away is not weakness—it is strength. It is reclaiming power over a narrative that others have tried to control for too long. The truth is, survivors are not broken or incapable of healthy love. Quite the opposite: they often have heightened awareness, empathy, and the ability to recognize danger quickly.

**Example?** When an abuser says a survivor doesn’t know what a “healthy relationship looks like” because of their background. This is projection and gaslighting at its finest. The abuser attempts to discredit the survivor’s instincts by suggesting they are incapable of knowing truth from manipulation. In reality, the survivor’s experiences give them sharper instincts and deeper insight into toxic behavior. Survivors may doubt themselves at first, but over time, their history becomes their strength, allowing them to spot patterns that others might overlook.

The more survivors trust themselves, the less power manipulators have. Your trauma does not make you weak—it makes you strong. And the strongest choice you can ever make is refusing to let anyone use your past as a weapon against you.