Gigi Adelaide

Gigi Adelaide's Post

Gigi Adelaide

August 24, 2025

And this is why you’re blocked on everything

Narcissists go back and forth from being cruel to being nice. They swing between two extremes, and this emotional whiplash creates deep confusion and cognitive dissonance in their victims. When you encounter two completely opposite sides of a person—one moment kind and seemingly loving, the next moment cold, cruel, or even abusive—it becomes almost impossible to make sense of who they really are. Victims are left asking themselves: Are they good or are they bad? Which version is real?

Most of the time, people desperately want to believe in the good side they’ve seen, because acknowledging the darker truth is too overwhelming, too painful, and often doesn’t align with the hope they hold onto. The brain struggles to reconcile how someone can appear to be two entirely different people. This internal conflict often pushes victims to dismiss the abuse, minimizing or rationalizing the cruelty, while clinging to the moments of tenderness.

But over time, the mask slips more often, and the narcissist’s abusive side becomes more dominant. What once felt like genuine “good” starts to diminish, and what remains is simply them being less hostile for a while—calm, detached, or temporarily non-abusive. Those brief windows of peace feel like a gift, a relief, a breath of fresh air after suffocating under cruelty. And because of the brain’s reward system, victims start to crave those rare moments of calm.

This cycle creates a powerful trauma bond. Victims don’t just hope for love anymore—they become addicted to the fleeting relief of not being mistreated. It’s this push-and-pull, the cruel mixed with crumbs of kindness, that traps so many in toxic relationships far longer than they ever imagined.

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