Better Things Are Possible

907

this is how every outlet should refer to X

10 minutes ago by@marisakabas 12 comments

His decision to run again was also up there but probably secondary to the main point

10 minutes ago by@internethippo 1 comment

it's a form of catharsis but especially funny to do it in conjunction with absolving politicians. if you're gonna yell at people who don't know you exist at least make those people chuck schumer

16 minutes ago by@internethippo 1 comment

631

The phone is for making posts like "the ass is the father of the legs" whereas the computer is for posts that include words like "inexorably"

19 minutes ago by@internethippo 8 comments

260

they’re making it so it’s not even going to be 2025 anymore. soon they’ll say being 2026 is mandatory for everyone

6 days ago by@tarashoe 5 comments

451

35 minutes ago by@internethippo 24 comments

we're gonna vote them out

59 minutes ago by@internethippo 1 comment

589

I think this causation is backwards. Politicians have been saying "the people are dumb" as long as there have been politicians. It's their job to figure out how to influence public opinion and win despite that

1 hour ago by@internethippo 40 comments

638

While we bungled Trump's challenge to democracy I think it's crucial to understand that it doesn't end with his person. The base of the Republican party will demand Trumpism after he's gone too--there won't be pro-democracy Republican politicians. How do we plan to handle that

1 hour ago by@internethippo 21 comments

It's true but to me "the voters" are farther down on the responsibility scale. At the top are the elites who failed to understand the danger, the necessity for accountability, and kinda just hoped this would all go away. In a healthy political system he'd never be allowed to run again

2 hours ago by@internethippo 79 comments

957

This is accurate, which is why you start laying the groundwork now that anyone involved in the coverup will experience consequences--criminal if applicable. Any president who tries to pardon them will be impeached etc

3 hours ago by@internethippo 7 comments

This reminds me of white people in the antebellum South who had no slaves but supported the system because racial superiority was all they had. We have to be a gangster state because it makes a few losers feel cool

4 hours ago by@internethippo 66 comments

hitting the weed pen and typing "people being nice to each other" into the youtube search bar

15 hours ago by@cait 42 comments

887

There are political and economic conditions that can make the public more likely to accept authoritarianism but they don't exist in this country so they're trying to manufacture them with memes. Pretending like this is 1990s Russia. Incredible to watch

14 hours ago by@internethippo 23 comments

229

You need either people with principles or charisma and instead you got a team of half asleep middle managers going through the paces because they're getting paid either way

15 hours ago by@internethippo 5 comments

I said nothing about jailing and prosecuting everyone but since you raise criminal liability, one of the main ways we got here is due to elite consensus for at least 50 years that people with money and power shouldn't face consequences for criminal behavior

23 hours ago by@internethippo 1 comment

Your job as a citizen isn't to invent excuses for your representatives' inaction. I promise you it'll never be enough. We don't 'control Congress. We control Congress but not the presidency. We control both but we don't have 60 votes in the senate. Too bad, figure it out or make way for someone else

23 hours ago by@internethippo 18 comments

Why show up to work at all then? At minimum, as the opposition party you say "This wouldn't happen if we were in power and if you give us power here's how we'll impose consequences on the president's lawbreaking." Have they outlined that in any real way?

23 hours ago by@internethippo 59 comments

it’s going to be weird going back to work and people talking like everything is normal. like in a final fantasy game when someone’s summoned a meteor from hell to destroy the planet and the villagers still only talk about the big chocobo pageant coming up

1 day ago by@crushbort 39 comments

The good news about an explicitly "Might Makes Right" foreign policy, where we do whatever we want to other countries because we can, is it will benefit us without causing blowback

2 days ago by@internethippo 48 comments

175

funniest part about all these weenie statements is they took 12 hours of back-and-forth huddling with staff to produce

2 days ago by@internethippo 3 comments

818

The president is currently chasing a lady around with his arms outstretched and tongue flailing in the wind but he slurred "good luck" we think

2 days ago by@internethippo 6 comments

This insane asshole has been doing nothing but crimes since the day he took office, you're the only branch of government with the power to remove him and you're not even going to try because it might not work? Why are you even there? To feel important and do insider trading?

3 days ago by@internethippo 27 comments

18k

You should be embarrassed to be a member of congress and issuing anything other than impeachment resolutions. You're in the model UN. They should give you legos and a propeller hat

3 days ago by@internethippo 61 comments

12k

You don't have to listen to these professional liars who are barely trying. 9 months ago they were saying they were powerless to return a man they illegally sent to an El Salvador gulag because it would violate that country's national sovereignty

3 days ago by@internethippo 40 comments

When I say something dumb on here I do it on purpose to give you guys the bonding experience of yelling at me together. I do it as a public service

3 days ago by@internethippo 39 comments

357

i had a stream a few of years ago and she came on a few times and everyone liked her more than me so i had to shut it down. not making that mistake again

3 days ago by@internethippo 3 comments

Zohran is already making Regular People's lives harder...

3 days ago by@internethippo 30 comments

129

just incredible twaddle

3 days ago by@internethippo 13 comments

Elon Musk's accomplishments over the last year include starving thousands of people to death (and laughing about it) and creating Hitler AI that undresses children (and laughing about it). Is it time to do something about billionaires yet?

3 days ago by@internethippo 54 comments

130

@JDVance: Sorry I'm not going to clutch my pearls over a little First Amendment activity. Something the legacy media wouldn't recognize if it bit them on the ass,

3 days ago by@internethippo 1 comment

468

thinking back to how he tried to back out of the purchase because he said there were too many bots

4 days ago by@internethippo 7 comments

I left twitter a year ago and I wish I could say it was for moral reasons but it was mostly because it just stopped working and it felt like there were more real people here despite the smaller user base

4 days ago by@internethippo 82 comments

We gotta imprison each of these shithead AI ceo's in a different data center like the minotaur

4 days ago by@internethippo 37 comments

waving a big foam finger that says government

4 days ago by@internethippo 1 comment

131

lauren my friend...happy new year

5 days ago by@internethippo 1 comment

they should invent a year that's better than the one before it

6 days ago by@suntzufuntzu 30 comments

Yes, if you speak out against ICE they'll say you're a lunatic who wants to open the floodgates to scary immigrants. The correct response isn't cowering in a corner, it's asking whether people want to be terrorized by armed masked thugs as a part of daily life

6 days ago by@internethippo 15 comments

If you're a Democrat, you're a sucker if you imagine this agency has anything to do with immigration. It is--and aspires to be!--a fascist paramilitary goon squad. You should start saying so and lay the groundwork for starving it of funding when you take power

6 days ago by@internethippo 36 comments

117

I was like why is the tone of this statement immediately familiar and realized it's The Loser's Smarm aka The Vance Dance

6 days ago by@internethippo 1 comment

I would never do the "Here comes the airplane" bit to feed my child. Embarrassing for us both. I would calmly explain the importance of adequate nutrition and they will yield to unimpeachable logic

6 days ago by@internethippo 61 comments

He who sets out to "get my ass" should dig two graves (one for each cheek)

1 week ago by@internethippo 15 comments

This, combined with "vice signaling" (taking pride in antisocial behavior) has given us the reign of the Stupid Asshole, something most people are against, but can only be remedied if we're not too polite to talk about it

1 week ago by@internethippo 22 comments

i figured she's angling for a cnn talking head spot for the immediate future and who knows after that

1 week ago by@internethippo 1 comment

They're making cars too curvy now. Everything looks like a dang oval. Do not explain the reasons to me please. I need cars to look like this

1 week ago by@internethippo 148 comments

269

Shall we have a hog president so viscerally repulsive that it seems the cumulative sins of the nation took physical form? Or a smarmy jerk with an urbane veneer whose misanthropy is matched only by his self loathing

1 week ago by@internethippo 4 comments

i was like is that his battery meter on the bottom left

1 week ago by@internethippo 1 comment

It's inefficient to get out of bed in the morning only to get back in the same bed at night. Stay in bed all day to avoid this

1 week ago by@internethippo 36 comments

"Academics literally cannot make genAI go away" we also can't make underage drinking go away and we're not advocating for installing bar carts in every classroom.

1 week ago by@bookjockeyalex 9 comments

426

You fool... watching a 10 hour loop of jingling keys? Divine. Reading a book about jingling keys? Boring

1 week ago by@internethippo 2 comments

My dog and two cats love to throw up on the floor and they represent 60% of the household. As a leader I can't just ignore public opinion so I also throw up on the floor sometimes to stay popular

1 week ago by@internethippo 46 comments

13k

Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more

1 week ago by@internethippo 97 comments

785

*political youtuber voice* They are telling us we have to sit down on the toilet just to fart

1 week ago by@internethippo 13 comments

[if wokeness returns]

1 week ago by@internethippo 36 comments

[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service

1 week ago by@internethippo 83 comments

961

It only seems that "you" are in your head because that's where your sensory organs are. But you are no more in your head than you are in your Ass. Some of you perhaps even more so

1 week ago by@internethippo 18 comments

Mr President the very nasty company "CBS" is sabotaging your numbers! Very unfair!

1 week ago by@internethippo 0 comment

153

oh my god dude

1 week ago by@internethippo 3 comments

Cats were domesticated about 10,000 years ago, when wild cats encountered the first human settlements and saw an opportunity to constantly be in the way

1 week ago by@internethippo 25 comments

once again you fools have prejudged someone based on their previous patterns of behavior and existing incentives

1 week ago by@internethippo 3 comments

Some of you will believe any horrific allegation about our president merely because it's fully consistent with who he is

1 week ago by@internethippo 20 comments

We loved to "yank it" together but it seems one of us has now been yanked from the world stage...

1 week ago by@internethippo 0 comment

This thing seemed cynical from the start but it's also funny to think an assignment is just a prompt for your Take, which can't be wrong and immunizes you from failing

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 1 comment

837

My post-apocalyptic companions are worried that I was bitten by the rabid podcaster before we put him down but they're just being paranoid. This will make great content for the bonus episoohhh no

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 4 comments

I don't think Trump should get access to standard medical care, he should have to let RFK Jr treat him

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 44 comments

No way

2 weeks ago by@governmenthoe 32 comments

Welcome to our website. Click the big green ACCEPT button to allow us to sell your data and possibly also your children. To opt out, click here to fill out this 19 page form by hand in triplicate

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 18 comments

Santa Claus and the grinch have the same donors. Open your eyes

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 19 comments

No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts

1 month ago by@iamspacegirl 23 comments

Even in these difficult times we must continue making art. That's why I will always post things such as "The ass is the window to the soul"

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 17 comments

821

I don't mean to be divisive but to call it a computer's "natural scrolling"--which mimics the despicable Phone--and then to make it default? An outrage. Swiping down should scroll down, as was true since the dawn of time on the noble mouse scroll wheel

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 26 comments

243

On the debate stage like

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 1 comment

I've surveyed the political scene and in my expert judgment the voters hunger for candidates who are sniveling little weasels who don't believe in anything

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 34 comments

135

the lady says "it's plurbin time" on this one

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 4 comments

They came to me and they said "Sir it's time for your weekly cognitive test, something we make all healthy presidents do" and I said thank you. That's very nice

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 12 comments

In a shocking twist, my hamfisted attempt at a coverup has only drawn attention to my crimes

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 22 comments

Rosy cheeks gang got to him. It's over

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 2 comments

they should invent a law that protects and binds the same people

11 months ago by@francesmeh.reviews 10 comments

I love working at the Department of Justice and participating in a conspiracy to cover up the demented 80 year old president's sex crimes. I spend 18 hours a day redacting documents and there's a putrid husk where my soul used to be

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 30 comments

You're mad because you expect a "software update" to make things work better. You will only be free when you understand this to be an illusion and accept the fact that software is suffering

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 25 comments

Any contemporary of Lincoln describing his personality: His natural sagacity was matched only by his wit and good humor

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 24 comments

My private equity owned dentist does things a little differently. I pay a monthly fee to keep the teeth I already have, and if I unsubscribe they send a guy to knock them out

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 14 comments

160

"following the advice of bluesky user wyattprivilege would have secured 300 electoral votes"

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 1 comment

123

well at least their forbearance prevented law enforcement from being politicized

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 0 comment

🤝 bsky.app/profile/inte...

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 1 comment

yes! ha ha ha

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 1 comment

I'm a street guy. I get the buzz

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 2 comments

(putting a microwave in a porta potty) My startup will transform affordable housing

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 23 comments

There should be a constitutional mechanism for removing a president. Not impeachment, something that actually works, maybe like a catapult

2 weeks ago by@internethippo 194 comments

Now that Santa has built a loyal and addicted customer base it's time for him to start charging money for presents

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 26 comments

175

Quote tweeting gas chamber memes with bible passages

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 2 comments

Once in a century political opportunity here, if only there were a party to claim it

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 45 comments

25k

The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."

3 weeks ago by@pervocracy 47 comments

Let People Enjoy Things etc but I'm not looking forward to President Vance's mandatory six month mourning period and deification ritual

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 5 comments

523

This would only make us as bad as him...therefore we have to do the opposite and honor him as a great man

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 18 comments

We staffed the entire FBI with guys who only make memes and podcasts, hope that doesn't affect our ability to respond to major crimes

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 42 comments

They're selling you the same pasta in different shapes and you're falling for it

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 114 comments

I don't want to be a "I'm not surprised" guy but covid made it clear that a substantial part of the population wants the freedom to do whatever they want even if it kills them and/or others

3 weeks ago by@internethippo 51 comments

GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son

3 weeks ago by@amutepiggy 34 comments